LAUGH ARENA

Hausa = Politics
Igbo = Business
Yoruba = ??????
Comment if you know the answer!

I wanted to use my ATM card but the machine kept on rejecting the card. A frustrated
me called my bank help line. Me: (angrily) So what's wrong with my ATM card.
Call girl : Sir, I have checked your
account, everything is alright here and You should be able to use your card, are you sure your card is
not damaged or broken?
Me: Are you insane? What are you insinuating? No one takes good care of their ATM
card like I do.
Call girl: Okay Sir, are you also sure the surface isn't wet or stained with dirt?
Me: You dey mad? ATM card wey I dey pet like egg. As a matter of fact, I even laminated it last week when I laminated my Identity card.

Her profile update says she's in Dubai and I just saw her in my area in naija. I called her but before I could say "ahhh sista..."
She replied "abeg Mike, Let's not complicate things here
if I update Dubai and you happen to see me around, then you are also in Dubai...
Fada lord, na Dubai I just enta without visa so??
Sista, u need Jesus!!!! # lolzz

THE FOOLISH BOYFRIEND

Guy: Doctor, My girlfriend is pregnant but
we always use protection and the rubber
never broke. How is it possible?
Doctor: Let me tell you a story: "There was
once a Hunter who always carries a Gun
wherever he goes. One day he took his
Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out.
A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him.
In order to scare the Lion,the Hunter used
the Umbrella like a Gun,and shot the
Lion,then it died!
Guy: Nonsense!! Someone else must've
shot the Lion...
Doctor: Good!! You understood the Story.
Next patient please.

AKPORS THE BAD GUY...

Akpors: I Have Been Waiting For This Day
Girl: Do You Want To Liv Me?
Akpors: NO!!!
Girl: Do You Love Me?
Akpors: Of Cause
Girl: Will You Ever Cheat On Me?
Akpors: Never In My Life
Girls: Wil You Ever Kis Me?
Akpors: Every Chance I Get
Girl: Wil You Hit Me?
Akpors: Are You Crazy
Girl: Can I Trust You
Akpors: Yes!
Girl: Sweet Heart
















READ FROM THE BOTTOM TO THE TOP..

IN CASE YOU DON'T KNOW.......

- Odunlade Adekola started acting in Christ Apostolic Church, Lafenwa, Abeokuta.
- He later joined Ishola Durojaiye (Alasaari) Group.
- He came to limelight with Alasaari's movie titled 'Asiri Gomina Wa' in 2007.
- He got to the top of his game in 2009 when he released his own movie titled 'Emi ni ire kan' as he won Best Actor (Yoruba) for the movie in 2009 and 2010.
- He has won Best Actor (Yoruba) in 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2014 and 2015.
- He has produced over 20 movies and he has played lead role in many Yoruba movies.
- He is a singer, an actor, a producer and a movie director.
- Odunlade Adekola is an indigene of Otun Ekiti, Ekiti state.
- He has acted in two English movies: The Grudge (2016) and Agartha (2017).
- He is currently a Business Administration student at UNILAG
- He is the first Yoruba actor to reach 1 million followers on Instagram
- He is a Glo ambassador and Goldberg ambassador.
- He has one wife who gave birth to all his four sons. His marriage is still intact.
- His parents are living with him in his house at Abeokuta.
- He has a beauty salon and one hotel at Abeokuta.
- He is the most sought after actor in Yoruba movies.
Some of the movies he has produced are:
* Alani pamolekun (2015)
* Baba Super
* Fere Sise Mi
* Giri Giri
* Sunday Dagboru (2010)
* Monday omo adugbo (2010)
* Emi Nire Kan (2009)
* Posi Wura
* Amookun
* Ma ko fun e (2014)
* Ila Owo
* Oba Adesope
* Adebayo Aremu Abere (2015)
* Samu Alajo (2016)
* Lawonloju (2016)
* Pepeye Meje (2016)

He played lead role in:
* Oyenusi by Sharafadeen Olabode
* Mufu Olosa Oko by Ademola Adelakun
* Babatunde Ishola Folorunsho by Ademola Adelakun
And others.

Big Brother Naija records 11million votes
- 1 vote = 30naira
- 11,000,000*30 = #330,000,000 million (that's if they all vote once)
- And the winner goes home with 25million
- voters stays at home without shi shi ....
Some people gathered 14 persons,kept them in one house in SA,and some other people in Nigeria are buying fuel with their money to watch them and still vote with there money

HAVE YOU CHECKED OUR PAGE TODAY??? IT IS OVER FILLED WITH UPDATES AND NOURISHED WITH LAUGHTER! FIND OUT NOW!!!!.......

1980's STYLISH "LOVE LETTER WAHALA". Dedicated to my 'one & only Mary'

Dear Mary,
Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my phalanges to dance automatically on this benedicted tiles of faded keypad. I hope you're swimming in the wonderful pool of Mr. Health there. I am also palambulating in the cool breeze of wellness here.
Sweetie pie, the reason why this miraculous thing is happening is because, honey, I love you spontaneously, and as I stand horizontally parallel to the wall and vertically perpendicular to the ground now, I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous girl put together as fantabulous.
I implore you to decipher this my anthem of love oozing out from the innermost pendulum of my thoraxial cavity.
Darling, please stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat.
To me each day I start by dreaming of you. Each time I see you, my metabolism suddenly halts and my peristalsis goes in reverse gear. My medula oblangata also ceases functioning.
Crazy, crazy, crazy you may say but this is verily veritable. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would prostrate. That's why I need to see you vis a vis soon for a better elucidation through tete a tete. No hyperbole & onomatopoeia, simple candidness.
Only u and me are protagonists in this subtle affair. As I cogitate and ruminate over the last episode, I genuflex before the Omnipotent and implore him to let this affair emulsify.
By the way, I was bamboozled, scintilated, exhilarated, and left in a state of prolonged euphoria by the contents of your missive which was quite edifying and exhalting. It left my bio-chemistry in a paradise-like equilibrium.
Empirically speaking, I love u chemically & physiologically... I don't ever want to see gloom and doom looming over your angelic live portrait. Let my appellation be scribbled across your heart, with indelible ink. If any boy tries to ask for your companionship, tell him that u are leased and caveated.
I think I have to pen off here, because I still haven't finished studying homeostasis and haemostasis of ur organ system. But before I evaporate, I like to revitalize your memory with those encapsulating lyrics which proclaim that catarrh is my butter, your p**s is my mimbo, the world's greatest lover is me.
Catch you later. Sleep tight, eat right and don't let those bed bugs bite you because you are too sweet for them to suck. Goodbye for now.
Your slave in love, your pillow, your cushion.

Femi.

[How Mothers Advertise Their Daughters For Marriage In Form Of Birthday Wishes]
When i saw this post, i nearly fell on the floor while laughing. Mothers no get chills oo especially when their daughters are getting to 28 or 29 years old. They are poised to do anything within their powers to make sure they hook them up at least. I bow for mothers ooo.
The way some mothers now wish their unmarried adult daughters happy birthday on social media is frightening o! See the way they wish them happy birthday on social media this days and tell me if this is not and advert...lol
Check out how Mama Bola wished Bola happy birthday last week.
Happy birthday to a beautiful Princess from the royal family of Eko Akete (Lagos), favourite niece of Otunba Mike Adenuga (Glo Chairman).
-
A well brought up child, wife material 100 yards, prayerful hard working woman, a very good cook, In fact if you eat her Pounded yam and efo riro, you will turn to Oliver Twist and ask for more.
-
A daughter of Zion, prayer warrior and intelligent woman. Meek as a sheep, she minds her own business, will never go through your phone at all
-
Any man who gets married to her would be the luckiest man in this world, Uncle Glo will foot the wedding bill and relocate them to wherever they choose in the world
-
Happy birthday my precious daughter.
Abeg watin una think?

*Man����: Will you marry me?*
*Woman����: Do you have a flat?��*
*Man:���� No*.
*Woman����: Do you have a* *Camry car?
��*
*Man����: No.*
*Woman����: How much is your salary?
����*
*Man����: No salary, but I....!*
*Woman����: No but Wat.... ! You have
nothing. How can I marry you? Leave please b4 I
open eye ��for u!*
*Man����: But I have one
estate������, 3 landed properties in
GRA������, 3 Ferraris������,2
Porsches���� and 2 G wagon����. Why
do I still need to buy Camry��. How can I be
paid salary���� when actually I'm the
BOSS...*
*Woman����: that's why I told you to leave,
cause am coming to your house myself to
propose to you....*lolzz