08/05/2018
The truth is, those kids cause just as many parenting issues as yours do, only their parents have either learned how to deal with them or are too concerned about what other people think to be honest. Here are the seven most common parenting issues and how you can overcome them:
1. Tantrums in Public
Contrary to what you may think, children do not outgrow tantrums. They learn, with the help of loving parents and caregivers, to control them. This does not happen automatically however. If you leave tantrums unchecked, your toddler will turn into a petulant child, a demanding teenager, and then finally an obstinate adult and difficult spouse. Tantrums are generally caused by not getting something the child wants, when she wants it. Some children are known for falling down hysterically in public places, kicking and screaming if told to stop. These are the times you begin to wonder just why you decided to have children in the first place.
However dealing with tantrums does not have to be traumatic. At the first sign of a tantrum, tell the child that he must stop or you are going to leave (the store, restaurant or movie).
If the child does not stop, firmly pick the child up and leave. It may be inconvenient. It may be expensive. It may even be embarrassing. But once your child learns that you are serious about consequences, the tantrums will grow fewer and fewer.
2. Physical Violence
This can be in the form of hitting, biting, pulling hair, kicking or shoving others. Like tantrums, children need to learn early that this type of behavior is unacceptable and there will be consequences. And that doesn’t mean biting them back! Most acts of physical aggression are a symptom of frustration.
Some children have no other way to express their level of frustration or anger, so they physically lash out at people they believe to be causing their pain. Ask your daughter why she is angry. Ask your son what you can do to help him alleviate his frustration. Sometimes all your child needs to know is that you are paying attention. Other times a physically aggressive child needs a watchful eye and plenty of positive parenting, such as age-appropriate directions and logical consequences.
3. Lying
Having your child lie to you is always painful. Finding out she is lying in social situations and at school is even more difficult. It is important to differentiate the occasional fib or “white lie” to avoid negative consequences from chronic tall-tale telling. When catching your child in a fib, remind her that you love her even when she makes mistakes.
Tell her the punishment for the “crime” is often less than the punishment for the fib plus the crime, so it is best to come clean right away. Reward her with positive praise for being honest with you, and hold up your end of the bargain by applying appropriate discipline and being lenient when you can.
If you have a creative tall-tale teller in the family, it can be a little more challenging. Take the opportunity to praise her storytelling skills while reminding her of the importance of being truthful when dealing with teachers, adults and friends who believe what she is saying.
4. Monsters Under the Bed
Everyone has fears. Whether public speaking or monsters under the bed, to the person who is afraid, the monster is indeed very real. Help your child confront his fears. Stand with him as he discovers the thing he is afraid of either doesn’t exist or isn’t as scary as he thought it would be. Often, just having loving parental support is enough to overcome fear. You may find that as your child conquers his fears, he becomes more outgoing, confident and capable.
5. Alcohol or Drug Use
This is often a parent’s worst nightmare because the implications and long-term consequences can be severe. In addition to criminal charges, your child could be subject to expulsion from school and jeopardize his future career by having an arrest record and/or limited education skills. Because the ramifications are so serious, children need to learn immediately that alcohol or drug use will not be tolerated, under any circumstances.
