27/08/2021
https://youtu.be/GS_mATLF7BE
8 Toxic Things Parents Say To their Children
Do you wonder about the toxic people in your life? What if your mother is toxic? What if your father is toxic? Or what if both of your parents are toxic. Reg...
04/07/2016
It is a widely held misconception that we must speak harshly to children for them to listen. Parents often say, “My child won’t listen unless I yell!” If that is the case, then I’m afraid that’s what she’s been taught to respond to. The unfortunate truth is that the more often you use yelling and harsh words or tones to “make your child listen,” the more often you’ll need to, because she will learn that she doesn’t really need to act until you blow your top. Moreover, she’ll learn that’s how to communicate with others to get her way, so you may see her speaking in that same harsh or loud manner to a sibling or peers, or even to you.
Remember what I said earlier—you can be loving even when you aren’t feeling loved. You can be warm when your child is being cold. You can be calm when he’s being angry and kind when he’s being unkind. You are the adult. You are the model. It is possible to get your point across without the booming authoritarian voice you may have been used to hearing when you were growing up.
Yelling and threats tend to shut kids down. It puts them on the defensive, activating their reactive lower brain.
Being respectful doesn’t give them the message that you aren’t in charge. It tells them that they are respectable. That’s something you want your child to believe about herself, isn’t it?
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Photo: Synergy: gentle parenting resources.
02/05/2016
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Photo credit: Synergy: gentle parenting resources.