15/01/2018
I am Indian and have a higher class family. I am passed out of one of the the top IIMs and earn decently well to support my family.
I got through the process of typical arrange marriage in India. Parents found the girl in the same caste, we met the girl at her place, I met her next day at a coffee shop, we exchanged numbers, I talked to her daily (she was in Bangalore and I was in Mumbai), I once visited Bangalore and we spent the weekend together (not the nights), I proposed her a month before engagement, she said yes and we got married within 4 months from our first meeting.
During first night after marriage, she said no to me for s*x and said that she needs time. Being Indian, I thought she might need some time to adjust with me and then we will have s*x with all consent. During 2nd, 3rd…6th night she said no to s*x and never allowed me to touch her. This troubled me now as I felt something fishy because she used to regularly chat on Whatsapp and be on calls with someone by the name of Neha. Now, she had already told me that Neha is her best friend and she will talk to her everyday, and i never stopped or asked her about the calls. One day, while she was not in the room, her mobile started ringing and it was a call from Neha, I picked up the call just to tell Neha that my wife is busy and will call later. But, as I picked the call, a male voice came from the other end. I cancelled the call and asked by wife about it. She confronted me by pointing that I should not ever pick her call. She then told me that it is her boyfriend and they have been in a relationship for 3 years and she cannot forget him now. She said that she will not talk to him from now on and will stay with me.
I had pre-booked the honeymoon to Maldives for 7 nights and we went there. She continuously talked to her boyfriend and started sending him images of Maldives. I was really angry at her actions but I knew the consequences of ever shouting at her or forcing her for anything. I had sensed by her actions that she will create some nuisance here if I did something that did not went her way.
My initial 7 days of marriage, and the next 7 days of honeymoon went like this - I went jogging, swimming, played basketball with other honeymooners, watched TV at night, and my wife used to talk on her phone or continuously chatted to her boyfriend. She also stopped coming out for dinner with me, I had to carry a plate of food to my room every night. I used to tell her everyday and night to please not talk to him as she is married now and should start a new life with me. I even told her that if she wants a divorce, I will help to get it easily and she can then marry her boyfriend. But, she always said that she needs time, she wants me and will love me for sure.
As we came back from Maldives, she started yelling and shouting at me in front of my parents that she wants to go to Bangalore (not her home) and I am not treating her in a good way.
The only good thing happened during this was when I shared this with my friend, he just said one thing, Dude no one will trust you when you are back, people will call you crazy and bad, until you have some proof that mentions the truth.
I started checking her Whatsapp and even took her Whatsapp via Whatsapp web to my mobile. she used to chat with her boyfriend and I used to read it on my mobile and save it. (They were extremely vulgar and she even used to send him her va**na pics, they used to make fun of me and how she is pretending good with me just to run away with her boyfriend later). I did call recordings of our conversations where she has accepted that she loves her boyfriend and not me.
After 20 days of my marriage, I dropped my wife to her parents place, came back and told my parents everything. I shown them few chats and shared the recorded conversation. They were surprised to see that I had collected so much information and supported my decision to get a divorce.
In the previous few days, I had received threat calls from my wife and her father. She has even filed a police compliant, for which I had received a call from the police station. I went to the police station and my wife started shouting that I had beaten her, tortured her and strangulated her with the help of my father. She was saying this in front of me, I mean how?why?how can you lie something like this at a person’s face? her father also joined her and started telling to police that I had called them and threatened them. I mean again why?? how can a father tell lie in front of her daughter and even make her tell lie??
I have filed a case in court of annul of marriage as we never had s*x and this was marriage by betrayal. She has filed a falsified case of domestic violence and dowry against me and my parents.
In all of this, everyone (society and lawyers) are suggesting that it will take infinite time for the case to get settled and therefore, we should try to negotiate and give her family the amount which fer father had spent on marriage plus some 10–15 lakhs. This will convince them to go for mutual divorce and it will happen within 6 to 8 months.
I can manage and give the money that they will ask for, it will just make my bank account completely empty. I do not have any issue with that. But, “Why?” is the real question. I had worked my ass off to earn the money and it is not my fault that my marriage is going to break. Why should i pay then?. The answer that I always get is simply this - because you are an Indian male.
In all of this, I went to complete depression and somehow managed myself and came back to life. I am having low ratings in my job because of poor performance, my parents cried, I cried but, no one gives a f**k about it.
My suggestion to anyone who is going to get married - please marry someone because of love (there is no tool to check this, but one should find this before getting married
