Play for Peace Kashmir

Child Abuse - Advice for Parents
Dealing With Disclosure

Children generally do not disclose abuse because they are afraid of the consequences. This may be based on threats by the perpetrator, or their own fears and beliefs. i.e. “It’s my fault” or “Mom will stop loving me”
If the abuse is in the family or by a person close to them, they often have ambivalent feelings of care for the perpetrator, as well as wanting the abuse to stop.
Threats by the perpetrator may range from, “I’ll kill you” or “I’ll go to jail if you tell” or “Mommy will be mad at you” or “This is our special love”.
The child feels responsible for the abuse and hence is often ashamed to disclose.
Children often disclose indirectly. This includes changes in behaviour or by statements such as “I don’t want to go to granddad anymore”.

33% of children retract their disclosures after seeing the consequences. 98% of these later re-instate the allegation. A retraction does not mean the abuse did not happen.

When a child discloses any type of abuse, it needs to be treated with the utmost sensitivity and confidentiality. Only the relevant people are to be informed so as to ensure that there is no secondary abuse, i.e. that the child is not traumatised any further as a result of the disclosure.

When your child discloses abuse:

​Listen with empathy
​Acknowledge the child’s statement
​After any type of disclosure, try not to show any shock
​Always speak to the child quietly and privately
​Stay calm, reassuring and non-judgemental
​Believe what the child tells you
​Do not ask WHY questions – they sound accusatory
​Tell the child he/she is NOT RESPONSIBLE for the abuse – WHATEVER the circumstance.
​Sometimes the child will want to tell everything, or limit what she tells – do not encourage or discourage the disclosure.
​Help the child by saying you know how difficult it must be for them to talk about it.
​DO NOT MAKE PROMISES YOU CAN’T KEEP.
​Involve the child in what you are going to do and ask his/her PERMISSION to talk to the relevant people. However – you keeping his/her “secret” is not negotiable – you are obligated by law to report abuse.

Essential Messages to reassure the child:

​I believe you.
​I am sorry this happened to you – affirm courage.
​I am glad you felt able to tell me.
​IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
​I need to speak to other adults in order to try and make sure this doesn’t happen to you anymore.

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Greetings to the viewers of this page . We the PFP group will be enlightening the parents, guardians and the care givers with some ways of keeping your children engaged in this time of lockdown. We even feel sad for our children as they are encountering this lockdown since long i.e. since august 2019. So please stay connected with us and get some creative and innovative ways of indulging yoir children.....

"To terrify children with the image of
hell, to consider women an inferior
creation"—is that good for the world?
Christopher Hitchens...

We teach children ways to combat any kind of abuse, by not telling them about abuse... But by making them aware how they can pick up a signal on being abused... Or how they could sense that there is a threat.
We teach children about ... Not good touch or bad touch ... But we teach them about safe and unsafe touch .....
We teach them about safe circles ....

We do all this , by not through lectures , but in a practical activity based approach ....

Event on child sexual abuse .. Followes by various activities .with children ... Youth ...