24/06/2026
As I have promised, I am bringing the episode eight of my nine episode satire series that begins the OTT‑style saga: “The Vice Chancellor Who Could Never Be Professor”—nine episodes , each peeling back another layer of absurdity from a university that redefined excellence as outsourcing and governance as WhatsApp administration.
⚠️ Disclaimer: This is a purely imaginary satire. Any resemblance to persons living or dead, place or institutions is entirely coincidental and unintended. This is the work of fiction.
EPISODE 8: The Lotus Wilts — Chaos, Cadre & the Cracks of Rebellion
Lotus University had endured corruption, incompetence, and administrative acrobatics for nearly two years, but the moment finally arrived when the institution began to wilt under the weight of its own absurdity. After making sure his re‑employment as Lotus of Excellence—despite his tenure having ended—the Vice Chancellor unleashed a series of decisions so bizarre that even the walls of the university seemed to groan in despair.
Flexible Cadre: The Retirement Scheme of Excellence
The VC declared that the long‑established, government‑mandated recruitment rules—considered sacrosanct for decades—were suddenly “obsolete.” In their place, he introduced the Flexible Cadre, a system defined by: No age bar, No proper reservation roster, No academic benchmarks, No transparency, No accountability
Yet there was one unmistakable objective: A plan to recruit 400 new faculty, each expected to “contribute” generously to the VC’s Retirement Corpus of Excellence. What made the proposal even more farcical was that no department‑wise teaching load or actual requirement had been mapped before announcing this mega‑recruitment.The faculty whispered:
“Flexible Cadre? It’s not flexible — it’s bend‑and‑break cadre.”
Respect for the VC was non‑existent in the university, but he didn’t need respect. He needed signatures, stamps, and “processing fees.”
🗑️ Written Test Scrapped — 10,000 Identical Applications
To accelerate his retirement fund, the VC scrapped the written test—the gold standard followed by UPSC, State Public Service Commissions, and all government bodies. He proudly announced: “We will shortlist 10,000 applications purely on merit.”
But every application had:
The almost same API score, same qualification, same research exposure, same publication pattern, same template CV downloaded from the same website
Shortlisting became a cosmic comedy.The ERP portal blinked helplessly:
“Shortlist Failed — Try Again After Enlightenment.”
Students, staff, and faculty whispered: “This is not shortlisting — this is lottery‑listing.”
🥵 Colonial Parking: Shade for the Privileged, Sunstroke for the Rest to assert authority, the VC issued a new decree:
Reserved Parking for Privileged Lotus Holders.A golden signboard declared:
“Elite Lotus Zone — Others Keep Away.”Even senior and elderly faculty were forced to park far away in the 46‑degree heat, while the privileged few enjoyed shade, nectar leaks, and royal treatment.
📝 Spot Evaluation in the Hall of SuffocationInside,
faculty were herded into a hall so cramped it could barely hold half the crowd, Yet it was declared the official venue for:“Spot Evaluation of End Term Answer Scripts.
”The hall had: Under‑capacity AC, Insufficient chairs, No ventilation
The VC called it “Academic Rigour.”The faculty called it “Slow Torture.”
💻 E‑Filing Without Scanners, Internet, or Logic
To “modernize” the university, the VC introduced E‑Filing. But there was a catch: No scanners, No reliable internet, No working computers, No electricity for long hours, No generator during power cuts
Faculty were instructed to “upload all documents promptly,” even though the only functioning device on campus was the VC’s personal photo printer—busy printing his photograph everywhere.The faculty whispered:
“This is not e‑filing. This is e‑suffering.”
💸 Remuneration Stopped — In the Name of IIT
Faculty remuneration for exam duties and evaluation was abruptly stopped. The justification?“This is IIT practice.”But Lotus University had:1/10th of IIT’s facilities, 1/20th of IIT’s salaries, 1/100th of IIT’s governance
Moreover, students were charged examination fees. If faculty were not being paid for exam duties, why was the fee being collected at all?
The faculty whispered: “We are IIT only in torture, not in infrastructure.”
🧘 Meditation Centre: Wellness After Harassment
To “heal” the tormented community, the VC inaugurated a Meditation Centre—a dim room with cracked walls and broken mats. A poster featuring the VC’s photograph proclaimed: “Meditation after harassment is good for mind and soul.”
It became the university’s cruelest joke: First they suffocated you, then they asked you to meditate on your suffering.
🔥 THE TURNING POINT: The OSD Falls
After months of humiliation, suffocation, and administrative cruelty, something finally snapped.The aggrieved faculty—exhausted, dehydrated, unpaid, and pushed to the brink—rose in rebellion. The long‑defunct faculty association was revived.They fought tooth and nail, armed with: Evidence, EmailsCirculars, Minutes of meetings, And the one thing the VC feared most: unity
Their target was the VC’s most loyal enforcer—the OSD to the VC, the courier of every absurd order.
And then—they succeeded.The OSD was denied extension after repeated complaints.It was the first crack in the VC’s empire.The faculty whispered:
“If the OSD can fall, the Lotus can wilt.”
🚫 Ward Quota Scrapped
The VC then scrapped the Ward Quota, which he intended to manipulate to benefit a chosen few at the cost of meritorious students.This was the true victory of students, who took this issue to highest quarter
🤡 The Great Lotus Meltdown
In a meeting that will be remembered for years, the VC openly declared that a world‑renowned senior professor—respected globally—had “made his position awkward both inside and outside Lotus University” by exposing the VC’s misdeeds. It was the moment the university realized that the VC hollowness & incompetence has ruined not only the image of the university but the future of young faculty and students too.
🚫 Outsiders on 5‑Year Tenure Take Over
Rattled by the OSD’s removal and fearing a full‑scale revolt, the VC surrounded himself with outsiders—individuals with no history with Lotus University, no understanding of its culture, no accountability to its community. They arrived on 5‑year “tenure” contracts, a term so elastic it could mean five years or five minutes. They became the new gatekeepers of chaos.
EPISODE 8 ENDS — THE LOTUS TREMBLES
The cracks had appeared.
The faculty had awakened.
The VC’s empire was no longer invincible and he had begun to shake.