15/06/2022
"There definitely are people who never fail, I know of them. What is their single biggest identification?"
"Grit, perseverance, determination blah blah"
I chuckle and reveal the surprise to the participants; "They are in their graves, six feet under the ground."
(raucous laughter)
During the 15 days, with 160 participants, over 4 different workshops, this joke generated laughter with as much gusto as the previous one.
Many participants expressed that they feel hesitant trying new things that they feel they can't do, approaching people to make new friends, pitching bold ideas to their peers or something as simple as dancing in the rain.
Why?
Fear of Judgement!
What will others think of me if I fail, if I come across as stupid, if I am rejected or end up not being liked!
These all fears that get picked up as a result of our direct personal experiences - I approached someone was friendship and I received a cold shoulder; from our environment - my colleague pitched an idea and was mocked for several days by his/ her peers or from the stories we hear at the place we grow up - those who dance in the rain are called maniacs in our society.
All these fears serve us for a while, like an armour - protect us from the darts and arrows. However, if the armour is not taken off and is held close for an elongated period of time - it also stops the rain and sunshine to caress our bodies.
There is a short-term benefit of holding on to the armour - temporary psychological safety - but the long term price of wearing the armour is - burden and not experiencing the rain, wind and sunshine.
Over a period of time, many of the participants developed a belief - "If I do not go out and put myself out there, I won't fail" or "If I don't approach an individual for friendship, I won't get rejected" or "If I keep my idea to myself, I won't be made fun of."
(Contd. In comments)
