The Life Changers

Learning from 2018!!

End of the year is a good time to reflect how the year went by. To test our memory and recollect and reflect on the resolutions we made a year ago.

My resolutions for 2018 was simple to make myself healthier, contented and happier than I was in 2018. Simplicity makes it easier to achieve. Yes, I set some specific goals. Here is a recount of how 2018 unfolded.

Mysteriously, my weight seemed to be on the ascendence towards Mar 18. I seemed to be running out of steam. Medical tests, revealed a thyroid disorder. Starting with small dosages, I seem to have it fixed now. Next goal, get off the medification, if possible.

I had gained in both weight and inches but got on a weight loss plan and pulled both back to where I wish to be.

It was no small deal, financially, to help my daughter pursue her post grad ambitions. It was a challenge. It was basically her achievement as she had to figure in the merit list but having done her bit, it was up to me to do my bit to contribute too and glad I could pull it off.

Added another feather in my Coach's hat by adding the "Certification in Health and Wellness". Grateful to be in a position to add value and make a difference to people who seek my help.

On the work front, it was payback time to my employers. Our contract, which I administer on behalf of my employer, was up for renewal. The odds were stiff for multiple reasons but backed by service excellence from my team mates, we pulled it off with an additional mandate.

I'm human. I make mistakes, have weaknesses, experience failure but I strive to learn and try to make it a better future.

I will strive to become smarter and become a better person but I will not strive to prove that I am smarter than anyone else. Thats my resolution for the new year.

It would be a good idea to start the new year with another new jar. Fill it with experiences and notes as the year goes by and reflect on it on 31 Dec.

Wish you all a very happy and prosperous 2019.

Learning is a continuous process and I have striven to walk that talk. Starting my journey in 2013, I have striven to add a new facet each year since then. This has enabled me to bring more value to my clients by using multiple tools and enable them to make the most of themselves and raise the bar.

Added another dimension to my professional skill. Specifically for those who need assistance to deal with physical and mental wellness, stress and staying committed to their goals and aspirations.

Let's Do Something Remarkable

Did you go to sleep last night with a resolution to do something today that you have been putting off for too long and yet when today arrived, put it off again?

If you did, you can gain comfort from knowing that you aren't the only one who does so. We make resolutions that doesn't get executed because life takes it's inevitable toll on us. Circumstances can crowd out our heart's desires.

The next time you feel yourself being dragged down, ask yourself these three questions.

Why do it?
Why not do it?
why not do it now?

Let your accomplishments and success be your source of enjoyment.

Are Workaholics More Productive?

Life without balance is unbalanced. Too much of anything is bad. An Apple a day is good but eating only apples isn't. Working until we get something done is good but obsession with work isn't so smart. Having our nose to the grindstone all the time denies us the opportunities to appreciate things around us. Occasionally, we need a break to reflect and contemplate where we are headed.

Workaholic bosses are worse. They derive sadistic pleasure in keeping people around, take pride in their title and their status of being one. They never have enough work but aren't necessarily productive. They are generally task oriented, not result oriented. They are busy being busy. To me, addiction to work is a disorder and a sign of inefficiency. We need to be smart enough to balance life and find time for other pleasures. The old adage "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" is applicable even to adults.

Bronnie Ware who worked in medical center for the terminally ill for 20 years before writing a book "Top 5 Regrets of the Dying" mentions how NO ONE ever mentioned "I wish I had spent more time at the office" as a top regret.

It is smarter to run the day than the day running us! Focus should be on getting more from the hour than putting in more hours.

Refine your Vocabulary to Change Your Outcome

We are often influenced by people who communicate credibly with conviction. But guess who we are influenced most by? Answer...ourselves!! We listen to the words we speak everyday. Our brain then conspires to ensure we walk the talk. Research has concluded a direct relationship between crime/ quality of life and a shallow vocabulary.

Coaching conversations are laden with words of beginners who state "I keep planning but I am not very good at ex*****on of my plans". The words we use, insignificant as it may seem, have the power to pull our minds in the direction of our thoughts as well as our actions. Challenge of a coach is to refine the belief that people have of themselves and express it through the words they speak.

People who consider themselves thinkers and extremely logical is to be trapped in deliberation. They may spend too much time in a "ready, aim, aim, aim" state but never "fire".

It is not a guarantee that we will reap every time we sow. It is possible that an extreme summer or a storm may destroy the crops but the odds "more often than not" is a good enough incentive to act. When we sow we at least have a chance. If we do not sow, we have NO chance.

Sometimes, we need to trust our instincts and jump of the cliff in hope that we will grow wings on the way down.

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REGRET CAN BE A POSITIVE EMOTION

If we reflect on the past and identify the behaviours that got us here with regret, we will know that the very same set of behaviours won't take us to where we wish to go.

Between a stimulus and a response, there is space. In that space we have the freedom to make a choice. Though the choice we make we define our destiny.

It is not what happens that defines our life. What happens to us happens to everyone around too. The sun went down on all of us last night!

Fate is the hand of cards we have been dealt with. Choice is how we wish to play it!

Coach holders Centered Coach lasting positive behaviours #

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Selecting and Managing Talent

"When Managers fail to find the talents he needs, everything he does to enable people to grow will be wasted like sunshine on barren ground"...John Wooden (The legendary UCLA basketball coach)

Conventional wisdom is to believe that the opposite of bad is good. So, to understand and accept excellence, we should investigate failure and invert/ avoid it. Thus good health is absence of diseases. Education on ill effects of smoking or drugs is used to keep people of such vices. At work, Managers use "service failure" and its absence thereof to define service excellence.

Reject focus on pathology which infers excellence from studying failure and then inverting it. Excellence and failure are similar. Average is the anomaly.

There is a saying that "successful people also do not like what unsuccessful people do not like to do. They do it nevertheless." When there is consistency in the outcome, key is to identify the talent that produces that outcome even against odds and find more people who have them to overcome the challenges. What is important for a manager is to create the environment for talent to thrive and translate to performance.

# Gallup Coach

Who are We?

Gallup defines "Talents" as a RECURRING pattern of thought, feeling or behavior that are productively applied. It acts as filters to various stimuli - a characteristic way of response to a stimuli. The chances of finding people with the same top 5 talents in the same sequence is as rare as one in 35 million.

That explains why each of us have a distinct and unique logic and behave or react differently and have different priorities. Talents determine:

Motivations - whether we are competitive, altruistic or ego driven

Thinking - disciplined, practical or strategic or delegate

Attitudes - optimistic, cynical, calm, anxious, empathetic or indifferent

We are defined more by our filters than our nationality, religion, race, gender or age!!

# Gallup Strengths Coach # MGSC Coach

The Life Changers Our services are designed to help individuals and groups who aspire to grow intentionally. We offer

Are Selfishness and Competitiveness Synonymous?

When I observe drivers on the road, who want to get ahead or stay ahead of the rest of the traffic, with scanty regard to what it does to rest of the traffic, I cannot help believe that such people are selfish. Some friends tell me that selfishness is universal and that even relatives and colleagues around them are selfish. Even we are selfish and it is just that we do not see the selfishness within.

Selfishness in my opinion, in our country at least, comes from the fact that there are too many people competing for too few resources. This is the result of people approaching life with a mindset of "scarcity". If we replace our mindset to one of "abundance" we not need to grab or hoard what rightfully is deserved by others. Scarcity is a myth. It is fair to believe that in the history of mankind, when we have run out of one resource, another one has taken its place and hence in reality there is no scarcity other than in nostalgic value!

Can being competitive be termed selfish? Are all of us selfish in that context? The answer is "NO". Competition is, like in sports, always fought within the framework of rules that are applicable and need to be adhered to achieve a fair outcome. In sports, we don't draw applause for scoring a goal from an "offside" position or for having finished ahead of the pack after a "false start". Selfishness on the other hand, is stepping on them, walking over them to make sure that we finish ahead by hook or by crook. Selfishness is using crook when hook doesn't work. It is a trait of the weak, insecure and ordinary people!!

Selfishness is no longer a generational behavior, it has become a cultural and genetic disorder. Unfortunately, children observe our behavior, believe it is fine to be so and imbibe such habits as easily as a fish takes to water. It is a disorder that is bound to stay.

Can we break free from this mindset and can the trend be reversed? Yes, we can. When we link self esteem and morality to our personal standards of behavior, it is easy to laugh at how others behave to achieve what they do and still feel superior in our own minds. When the demands we make of ourselves is greater than those expected of us, we begin to compete only with ourselves and stop feeling superior or inferior in comparison to people around us.

Midnight revelry on New Year Eve is still a mystery to me! Are we celebrating the year gone by or ushering in new hope along with the New Year?

2017 matured me, whooped my ass, humbled me but also blessed me, with new knowledge, made me smarter and wiser. The wise old man says that success isn't defined by time but by how valuable we become over time. Glad I kept up my resolve to add more knowledge each year and be better qualified and more valuable.

The wise old man also said that we are the average of five of our closest associates and so my average may have altered a bit. While some new persons joined the bandwagon, the year also showed that not all friends mean friendship and relationships are sometimes made to fulfill necessity and for moments of convenience. Snakes are everywhere and sometimes, people in our lives needn't be real.

Without malice, despise, prejudice or resentment, I wish the people who have moved on well. While they are entitled to believe that I was undeserving to be in their lives, I am entitled to reciprocate the thoughts. I thank every person who said "YOU CAN'T". It is because of them that I WILL.

So basically, 2017 was just one more year gone by but here’s to a better 2018!! Time to embrace faith, be hopeful and happy again. Wishing everyone A VERY HAPPY, BLESSED 2018. May the year be one of the very best that you have had!!

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