An immature lady

Hi everyone....mai kafi preshan hu last 4 salo se..I am a 36 year old working in gov sector, married with two kids 7 yo girl and 11 months premature baby ,born extremely early.

I am in depression from last 4 years bcs of my own blood family..I am last daughter amongst 1 son eldest and three daughter..only gov servent and earning girl in my whole family even ..I was happily living in Punjab .I got transferred in noida in 2021, where my brother lived since last 15 years.
The day I came here since then my life has suddenly took U turn .
* When I joined my MIL had come with me and I was 3 months pregnant we halted for 3 days at brother's place till we got possession of our rented house here ,,my bhabi who generally was good suddenly getting along with my MIL (she was into some extra marital affair that she might know if I stayed in same city or society)and filled her so much against me that mil had fight with me there only and refused to go to our rented place and asked us to send her back to our fil place ..in all this my sil and family supported her against me..so we sent her back and we came to our rented flat , I was fumed over my sil that she supported mil in all this where I trusted her like my own mother.. I had no place to leave my daughter at as I was working.
* I didn't show but wanted to set boundaries with brother and sil but I I don't know why He kept coming over uninvited at my place specially in absence of my husband and kept trapping me.
* He convinced me for shifting in his society..I still don't know why ... only so we changed flat since after mil left i had no one known here so for security of my daughter i shifted to my brother's society now here we were indirectly troubled by keeping her maid's daughter in law as my daughter's caretaker and then making her leave abruptly,since I was pregnant with husband travelling long for work I fumed and got her entry restricted in society..my bhabi got her enter again by my brother's long term friend who happens to be his old colleague and now president of the society,this again got me triggered ,when I called to ask that why they did this no one picked up my calls even nephews did not pick..i was not invited at my nephew's birthday party where everyone else was invited reason citingbthat i faught with my MIL and maid.so now I had no one where I can leave my daughter i had severe anxiety over daycare and creche..I used to carry her with me with my pregnant body. That emotional stress and behaviour of my own people made me think that only option to manage everything is stay home at least for few days and find a new maid I brought one from agency but she proved huge fraud did theft and did not return..all this took me in depressive state and i aborted my 5 month pregnancy thinking that I had no family to raise this child..it was a messy one I had to go through a lot but I had no one to even ask my well being..

Now among all this a new chapter came when my brother's president friend had a secret affair with my bhabi. Their video call inappropriate screen shots were found by president's wife and he came to tell all this to me bcz my brother was told and he didn't even believe pictures ,call records and many other proofs..I came to rescue my brother's image in society and tried to settle all this then by brother and sister-in-law again had improved relationship with me.
*****Then came a night when I got to know that the (night of my nephew's birthday party i had made call at brother and just cried that how can he do this to me) this call was put on speaker in front of my bhabi mayka family and bhabhi close friend to show that how I was putting drama and crying..I was told later each details of my call to brother that how I was crying and opening my stupid heart.
I was told all this by president's wife..she was available in the party.

That night I could not stop myself may be I had my bad time starting or punishment of karma had got activated, i reached at brother's place and pushed my bhabhi that how dare she did all this to me and I had to go through all this she bitted my palm and got me injured my brother unexpectedly started hitting me with such heavy punces that I was in shock that instead of stopping us he is showing his new face to me now. That was the last day 20 Feb 2022 I had any relation with them..

* My father and mother are financially and emotionally dependent on him ( they were not in noida at the time of fight) they also break relation with me..i used to call mummy till karwachauth 2022 then my father said stop calling us we don't want to keep any relation with you..I attended my cousin wedding in joint family house in village..I along with my kid and husband spent two days in my uncle's house father didn't invite me in his house..my middle sister's to talked till May 2022 then she visited brother's house in summer break and blocked my number..my elder sister also blocked me 2 years back..
* All this has taken toll on my body and mind..they are all getting along having vacation together celebrate festival together.my father mother also live with them only now as mummy got bed ridden last year.

i have each day about my family I have dreamt of spending time in my family , that finally everyone is talking to me.....

Meanwhile i tried to moveon and conceived but pregnancy was tough ang I delivered premature baby 26 weeker....my MIL didnot help..I didn't tell any of my uncle and extended family that I delivered premature I told them after my baby came back from nicu...my own family knew that I m pregnant but they never talked..I didn't want them to give one more point to be happy....I still keep missing my chilheed family and raising my baby all alone with husband and daughter.

In all this my husband has been observer and supported in household chores only. He can't support emotionally and just let thing go.

I now think my life is not worth living. But I have live but it's unbearable to live without happiness with so much insult from my own family..