24/11/2025
Disclaimer: This article is not a critique of Indian culture or parenting. It is based on patterns I have observed while working with student-athletes, families, and coaches across India and the U.S. The intention is to highlight practical areas where small shifts can significantly improve outcomes for Indian athletes pursuing U.S. college sports—not to generalize or stereotype. Every family is different, and many already practice these habits. This is simply meant as guidance, not judgement.
Student-athletes and their families invest a lot of time, money and effort. At some point the student-athletes looking to pursue sports and need a good balance of academics and sports start working towards admission into U.S. universities. Yet, despite all the hard work, some high caliber student-athletes do not make the cut.
Based on the many student-athletes, families and coaches I speak with, one observation stands out:
Talent is not the problem.
Many falter on the basics – a poignant reminder of simple things we overlook.
Everything else being similar, those student-athletes who bridge this gap are the ones with a higher chance of getting selected.
Our upbringing, family structure, communication style, and social conditioning shape how student-athletes talk, behave and present themselves. Many a times these clash with what U.S. college coaches expect. The result? Some highly skilled athletes get overlooked.
While it is easy to blame differing “mindsets,” the truth is that most of these issues are basic, rarely discussed, and completely fixable — provided families and schools focus on them from an early age.
Below are a few such areas. These require practice but are universal life skills that are valuable no matter where you study or play and will stand you in good stead.
There is one area which is a huge advantage to the kids from India and how to leverage it while interacting with the coaches.
1. Communication:
My observation: During childhood, many of us are taught not to interrupt elders, to be polite, quiet and respectful by listening silently….these are good points but they often make us “passive listeners”. Many adults themselves were never taught how to communicate effectively with children, so this skill rarely gets passed on. I am sure many of you see this in your teams. On the positive side, I do see some schools and families working with the kids on these which is a good sign for the times to come.
U.S. coaches expect: respect (non-negotiable), direct responses, clear communication, questions and opinions.
How to align:
✔ Speak clearly about your goals ✔ Communicate actively in games, training and even calls. ✔ Ask questions confidently, ask clarifying questions again if you do not understand the first time.
Quiet ≠ respectful in the U.S…..Quiet often signals uncertainty.
2. Humility vs. Confident Self-Presentation
In India, humility is highly valued: “Let your work speak.”…”karm kiye ja, phal ki chinta mat kar”. Speak to kids in school, players in school/academy teams, large populace of high schoolers and you will see a very similar trend. The high performers rarely speak of their achievements because no one wants to be seen as a “show-off”.
U.S. recruiting values clarity: “Tell me why I should recruit you.”
How to align: ✔ Be confident in communication. ✔ Present achievements with numbers (times, goals, stats) ✔ Don’t downplay your strengths ✔ Build your own brand on Instagram, LinkedIn or any other platform.
The right balance shows maturity, personality and confidence.
3. Handling Feedback
I feel we do not put enough effort in teaching our kids how to handle feedback. Neither do we teach our kids to take compliments (that’s another topic). Insecurity kicks in as soon as we hear a “areas of improvement” / feedback discussion. The kids learn based on how they see their parents interacting, reacting and managing situations.
U.S. coaches encourage learning through mistakes.
How to align:
✔Till the time kids are comfortable, teach them to think of “feedback” as a tool (this makes it less personal). ✔ Don’t explain, justify or defend immediately. ✔ Show growth in your next clip, practice, or match. Call out the feedback and how you are working to fix it.
This signals growth mindset—a huge advantage.
Coaches don’t expect perfect athletes. They expect coachable athletes.
“Talent gets you noticed — but coachability gets you on the roster.”
4. Academics: India’s Big Cultural Advantage
India and academics are synonymous.
Coaches love this.
Despite commutes, tuitions, and packed schedules, Indian kids excel at time management — something U.S. coaches value massively.
U.S. student-athletes must balance sports, travel, and academics while maintaining a strong GPA. Admissions department also plays a crucial role in scholarship decisions, so academic reliability matters a lot.
How to leverage:
✔ Highlight academic strengths ✔ Mention discipline & time management ✔ Show interest in the academic side of the program
This instantly builds trust.
Skill opens the door.
Align as per above points to improve your chances of getting on a roster.
Rajendra Kamath
Founder, Final Third
Note: Every student-athlete is unique, and no culture has a “perfect” approach. The goal is simply to help Indian families understand what U.S. coaches look for, so athletes can present their best selves—without losing who they are.
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