Parent Coach Academy

Bangalore Business Literature Festival To celebrate and foster the culture of reading, writing and publishing of business literature

Cityplus, a weekly magazine with 8 editions in bangalore, carried a "featured article" this week on Subha P in line with the special focus on women empowerment and women entrepreneurs making a difference in the field of education. Link is given below -

Reviving special bond by nurturing parent-child relationship Subha Parthasarathy is a name that has created a great impact on the minds of young parents and chi

Subha's article in Deccan Herald today.
Note : The headline is not ours :)) The editors decide on the headlines / summary / pictures etc..

The right way to help kids with schoolwork There are some situations that occur everyday in the course of a child's academics and activities which calls for parental intervention.

We are pleased to announce the addition of the bonafide “PCA Certified 6Cs Practioners / Parent Coaches” list in the public domain. This would enable anyone to verify the authenticity of certified members of PCA. The listings are searchable on many parameters and would include the photo of the member, wherever available.

Here is an interesting story – PCA certification numbers starts from #1887 and many people wanted to know the significance. Well, we are fans of one of the greatest mathematicians the world has seen – Srinivasa Ramanujan and 1887 is his year of birth.

This is a small way from our end to remember this genius !

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you " - Lewis B. Smedes

“Educators remind us that what counts in a classroom is not what the teacher teaches; it’s what the learner learns. And so it is in families. What matters is the message our kids receive, not the one we think we’re sending.”
― Alfie Kohn

“I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.”
― Maya Angelou

Excerpt from indiaparenting.com - "Fancy dress is a very interesting competition which evokes a lot of humour and is very enjoyable also. Fancy dress is a competition which is very colourful and full of life.

Normally, it is a practice that only mothers attend the competition and fathers do not attend because of their office or other work. Fathers should also attend the competition and for this reason schools must also try to hold the competitions on a Saturday or Sunday"

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Recently, I attended a fancy dress competition for 4-7 year olds in our apartment complex. I observed the parents having fun, everyone was laughing when the children goofed up their lines, some of the children threw off their uncomfortable outfits, some were crying, some were oblivious of all the noise around.....It made me wonder - what needs of children and parents are being met here? what are the assumptions?

Any thoughts?

What is Domestic Violence? (an excerpt)

“I could not understand what was happening to me. I was married into a decent family and everything was fine for a year. Then there was occasional shouting from my husband and his family said nothing. It became worse and he hit me several times. When I told my sister, she said he was an educated, nice man and I had to find out what I was doing wrong. I tried very hard to please everyone but the slaps continued followed by insults and jokes. Perhaps this is my fate. I do not know what to do or how to stop this”.

Your first reaction is shock along with feeling hurt and upset. Why me? What have I done wrong? You will feel confused and as a way to set things right, you will try to appease people. It might disappear or get resolved but it might also continue.

You may notice that you are constantly on guard. Will I be beaten again? You are looking for signs which might lead to violence. You find yourself constantly afraid.

Gradually you might notice that you are loosing self confidence, becoming timid, withdrawn and perhaps loosing weight.

Domestic violence is defined as abuse that occurs within the four walls of a home or within a nuclear or extended family. The abuse includes physical, sexual, verbal, emotional and economic violence through cruelty, ill-treatment or exploitation by one or more members of a household towards another member.

It is a hidden violence, one with no name. We know it exists but deny it, shrug it off or in some cases even justify it. Violence in the family, it is said, usually takes place because the wife must have provoked it, or because the man was drunk or wanted to teach the woman a lesson.

Women do not mention it and men pass it off as a personal incident or as part of their right over women and children. Society as a whole sees it as anomaly that happens sometimes in some families. By giving it a name, studying it and raising it in public, this form of violence had to be accepted and steps taken to prevent it.

The first step in doing something about Domestic Violence is first recognising it, accepting it that it is done by someone we love within the family and then speaking about it."

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This could be happening right now to near and dear you know. Can you relate to it? What causes people to behave violently and exhibit deviant behaviors? What can we do about it so that our kids can come out of such situations? Radical (as in Root causes) perspectives would have to begin with one's childhood - digging into deeper structures that underlie the behavior. As parents, we can work with our kids so that they are empowered to make decisions based on more choices.

At PCA, our programs focus on skills that parents can use when working with children. There is no right or wrong or moral judgments that are passed about on any person or any parenting style. We provide perspectives that can only add to and enrich one's world view.

Your thoughts on the story shared by Arun Gandhi (grandson of MG) :
When Arun Gandhi came back to South Africa to live with his parents, he lived in an ashram by a sugarcane plantation, 18 miles outside of the city of Durban.

One day, his father asked Arun Gandhi to drive him to the city center, complete a list of chores, including getting the car repaired, and pick him up at 5 p.m.

With some time to spare before retrieving his dad, Arun Gandhi went to a John Wayne double-feature, only to realize at 5:30 p.m. that he was late. He arrived to pick up his father at 6 p.m. When his father asked him why he was so late, he lied.

“I told him the car wasn’t ready,” he said.

But his father had already called the garage to see if the car had been fixed yet. Having caught his son in a lie, Arun Gandhi’s father insisted he drive home and leave him behind.

“He said ‘there was something wrong with my parenting,’” and that he would walk the 18 miles to home to think about where he went wrong, Arun Gandhi said woefully.

“There was nothing I could do to change his mind.”

For six hours, Arun Gandhi followed behind his father at three-miles-an-hour, watching his dad walk through dirt roads and sugarcane fields. It was then he decided to never lie again, he said.

“It was a major lesson in non-violence parenting.”

It was also an example of his father dealing with anger responsibly, rather than spreading it on. By using anger “positively and intelligently,” his family’s lessons had more impact. Seeing his father trek through dirt for 18 miles showed him the effects of his actions. Watching his mother fast for days on end when he or his siblings misbehaved showed him his actions had real consequences.

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Is there any other way Arun's dad could have dealt with the situation? Are there other perspectives to the same situation? Are there other ways his mother could have handled situations - other than fasting?

''Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.''
Charles R. Swindoll
Awareness of our thoughts will help us to choose an action which facilitates the growth of a child.

“There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater,you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent.”
― Dave Barry
It requires effort to go beyond the behaviour we see. We will do that only when we want to understand what is really going on inside us and the other person. We have a choice.