AMU Sisters

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One of the advantages of living all alone is having a lot of "me times". Just like pulling up a chair to have chai- biscuits, enjoying the setting sun with absolutely nobody except for a fly to disturb you

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Secrets of your Spouse ...

1. To Marry : Women looks Future of Men, but Men looks Past of Women.

2. Love : Women Likes Quality of Love, but Men likes Quantity of Love.

3. Search : Mostly Women Search for Character of Men. So its easier for her to forgive him but difficult to forget him, Whereas Mostly Men Likes Beauty of Women so if he find better one he can forget her but if she makes any mistake to him its difficult to forgive her.

Here are some tips to maintain a healthy relation with your spouse

Ways To Keep Your Wife's Love

1. Make her feel secure and sakinah - don’t threaten her with divorce.

2. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.

3. Be a good listener.

4. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, names she loves to hear.

5. Don’t act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing, Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to the family.

6. Sit down and eat meals together.

7. Keep disputes between the two of you, don’t take it outside.

8. Don’t leave home in anger.

Ways to Keep Your Husband's Love

1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female--a man doesn’t want a man for his wife.

2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.

3. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.

4. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”

5. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.

6. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.

7. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you wanthim to change something.

8. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

9. Look attractive and be seductive towards him. Flirt with him.

10. Don't EVER compare your husbands to other husbands! For example don't say, "well her husband doesn't do that, why do you" (thats a killer!)

11. Wake him up for Qiyam ul-Layl (in the last third of the night) and ask him to pray with you.

May ALLAH preserve all of our marriages and help us understand and implement them in and with the best of manners, Ameen!

A marriage built on islamic principles is the best one.

That's the lifestyle loved and chosen by Allah.

A lot of people marry without having their relationship with Allah as their top priority & when trouble starts they rush to islamic institutions and the quran.

Don't be foolish in your choices.!

Take time & trust Allah.

When they marry for looks sooner or later such a person will start gazing & admiring other beautiful people ,there'll be trouble in the marriage. When they marry for wealth, sooner or later the wealth may decrease or theyll find someone richer, what then? But when you marry a pious man/woman you know for sure that out of all the prospects this person will fulfil their rights and duties with ehsaan. A pious woman will not entertain any non mahram and a pious man will not gaze and admire/ talk to other women. You're secure with them. There'll be tranquility and barakah sent by Allah. Nothing built on haram can ever bring that kind of barakah.

No dating before marriage...!

A marriage is like an aircraft, if one pilot is headed towards Russia & the other one is headed towards Australia, how will the plane take off safely? That flight is doomed. So you need to make your goal your aakhirah & you need to pick someone who thinks that way.

We need to change our mentality as a society... A woman is pursued for her beauty and a man for his wealth. Once my cousin sister & i were interacting with this family friend. She was an elderly lady, she said " every man has a little bit of bad tendencies in him you should make your peace with it". I thought to myself that one should never sacrifice on the character of whoever they marry. If you have good morals so should your partner... It's all about choosing the right way. Be careful in the first step itself. Your life isn't a test drive. Don't keep the mentality " Oh tomorrow he/she will start to understand islam" but what If he doesn't ? Why take such a big risk? Better to be safe than sorry.

Girls have to be extra careful, because your husband is meant to lead you. If he isn't Allah fearing, if his goal isn't the hereafter & he doesn't understand the Quran, where will he take you? Tomorrowland ?

:: Menstruation Is Not A Punishment ::

The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said about menstruation, “Verily this is a matter Allah has written upon the girls of Prophet Adam (Allah bless him)…” [Bukhari]

Those who claim that menstruation is like a punishment because one cannot perform acts of worship are severely mistaken. On the contrary, there are many forms of worship that a woman can do while menstruating aside from what is legally prohibited.

Allah says in the Quran, “He who obeyeth Allah and His messenger, and feareth Allah, and keepeth duty (unto Him): such indeed are the victorious.” [Nur: 52]

Allah Most High has commanded menstruating women and women in a state of lochia (post-natal bleeding) to refrain from the ritual prayer and ritual fasting. Thus, if a menstruating woman fulfills this command with the intention to submit to Allah’s order, she is actually worshipping Allah the entire time that she refrains from the ritual prayer and ritual fasting.

As one of my teachers in Damascus said, “Her praying while pure is worship (ibada) and her refraining from prayer while menstruating is worship. All of it is worship”

Therefore, there’s nothing dreadful or awful about menstruation or lochia (post-natal bleeding), rather it is a person’s attitude towards it.

:: Suggested Acts of Worship During Menstruation in Ramadan...::

These suggestions are not specific to the last ten nights of Ramadan but to the month in general. Furthermore, they also apply to women in a state of lochia (post-natal bleeding).

1. Listen to the Quran:
“The month of Ramadan in which was revealed the Qur’an, a guidance for mankind, and clear proofs of the guidance, and the Criterion (of right and wrong).” [Baqara: 185]

2. Make Much Remembrance (Dhikr) of Allah:
“…and men who remember Allah much and women who remember – Allah hath prepared for them forgiveness and a vast reward.” [The Confederates: 35]

3. Send Blessings on the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace):
Allah says in the Quran, “Lo! Allah and His angels shower blessings on the Prophet. O ye who believe! Ask blessings on him and salute him with a worthy salutation.” [The Confederates: 56]

4. Give Generously In Charity :
Sahih Bukhari bk 6; vol 1; hadith number 301: Narrated Abu Sa`id Al−Khudri: Once Allah's Apostle went out to the Musalla (to offer the prayer) of `Id−al−Adha or Al−Fitr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, "O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell−fire were you (women)." They asked, "Why is it so, O Allah's Apostle ?" He replied, "You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you." The women asked, "O Allah's Apostle! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?" He said, "Is not the evidence of two women equal to the witness of one man?" They replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her intelligence. Isn't it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her me**es?" The women replied in the affirmative. He said, "This is the deficiency in her religion."

5. Be Kind to Others, Including Spouses & Family Members:
The Companion Salman al-Farasi related that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said about Ramadan in a sermon given on the last day of Sha’ban, “…It is a month of patience and the reward of patience is Paradise…” [Sahih ibn Khuzayma; Sayuti, al-Jami’ al-Kabir; Bayhaqi, Shu`ab al-Iman]
She uses this time to rebuild and mend any broken relationships. She showers her loved ones with words and acts of gentleness, compassion, consideration, patience, and love. She doesn’t use her menstruation as an ‘excuse’ to wrong others and resort to bad temper. She forgives those that have mistreated or offended her.
She prays that Allah will forgive her if she wronged others.
She keeps the company of the righteous and those who will increase her in piety.

6. Make Dua for the Ummah

7. Make Much Repentance :
The Companion Salman al-Farasi related that the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said about Ramadan in a sermon given on the last day of Sha’ban, “…It is a month (in which) the first of it is mercy, and the middle of it is forgiveness, and the last of it is pardon from the Fire…” [Sahih ibn Khuzayma; Sayuti, al-Jami’ al-Kabir; Bayhaqi, Shi’b al-Iman]
She asks Allah to pardon her, cover her sins, and save her from the Hell-fire. She begs for forgiveness and realizes her absolute neediness to His mercy. She wakes up in the middle of the night, even though she is menstruating, and repents in a time when Allah promises to forgive.

8. Feed Fasting People:
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) also said in the aforementioned sermon, “…Whoever feeds a fasting person in (the month of Ramadan), for him is the forgiveness of his sins and freeing his neck from the Fire…”

A perfect husband is not the one who disturbs you every night for Love but he who wakes you up for Night prayer.

A perfect husband is not the one who calls you for only romantic talk but he who calls you 5 times for prayer.

A perfect husband is not the one who only makes you dine at a big restaurant but he who fasts with you together.

A perfect husband is not the one who is expert in dealing with other women but he who is very honest, loving and caring in dealing with you.