Tanya Therapy

Breathe in...Breathe out.
Feel and notice the sensation of the air's movement.
Tune into yourself...Repeat

NGER AND BLAMING

"My anger builds. I get to the point that all I feel is resentment, and all I'm doing is telling him/her off."

Sound familiar?

Try to work on not harboring resentment. Express your needs directly to your friend or partner. When you are angry, tell them how you feel. Do it calmly, without blame.

And go deeper, to the core. Below the anger is a feeling of hurt, of vulnerability. Share that with them. If you show only the angry, demanding surface, you will drive people away and make it less likely that they can meet your needs. Becoming angry and demanding is self-defeating. It rarely works. You almost never end up feeling better—things just get worse and worse.

Speak up...a lot. Much of this comes down to communication. If you want a relationship to work, you have to be willing to communicate your thoughts and feelings to your partner. You have to share yourself. You have to connect.

It is not easy to change. To a large extent, how much you change is a function of how hard you work and persist. Your Life Pattern and false self-beliefs will not fall away suddenly. It is a matter of slowly chipping away at them – countering them each time they are triggered: in thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

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Get your free guide to using emotional triggers to take back your life and upgrade all of your relationships.

Click here: www.dropbox.com/s/653lz0yurn7oz6d/triggered%20in%20quarantine.pdf?dl=0

You're allowed to feel. Please let yourself.

👥 Join the therapy group:
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Embrace a different way of thinking. We are used to cause and effect, direct impact. I do X and Y changes or moves. But that only works with ourselves and objects. HOWEVER, we impact other people INDIRECTLY by changing ourselves; by adjusting what we will/won't say and do.
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👥 Join the therapy group:
facebook.com/groups/relationshipmasters

👤 Support digital therapy:
patreon.com/relationshipmasters

👥 Join the therapy group:
facebook.com/groups/relationshipmasters

👤 Support digital therapy:
patreon.com/relationshipmasters

WHAT IS/ISN'T A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?

Client: "It's so refreshing being in a living situation with someone who shares their needs and communicates."

Zalman: "Mature people are aware of their needs and wants, able to communicate that, hear what others need and want, and find common ground. That's normal, and how it should be. As opposed to much of what you've gotten, where adults are still stuck in high school, wrapped up in self, not self-aware, poor communicators, and not sensitive to others. Very hard to work together in such conditions."

👥 Join the therapy group:
facebook.com/groups/relationshipmasters

👤 Support us on Patreon:
patreon.com/relationshipmasters

Are You Making Assumptions?

It happens often in life that we don't understand why someone is or isn't doing something. We see and collect the facts and evidence, but it doesn't add up. It's not making sense.

It's then that we often make assumptions. Why? To help us handle the lack of control over the situation and the lack of knowledge about why things are going as they are.

Here's what often happens next, at some point: we find out new information that changes things; the missing piece we didn't have before that now makes it all make sense.

The process repeats itself a lot, but it shouldn't. After all, we've seen it many times before. Why fall for it again?

The problem is that we don't take a moment to realize this process happened and is happening.

Understandable: a lot of time can pass by between the original assumption and the arrival of the missing piece.

So, from now on, let's start reflecting, pausing to contemplate the cycles and processes in which we swim. Such experiences help us learn and remember how to handle it next time.

In future situations, when we find ourselves in a position with a person where the facts don't all add up...**hold off **on judging or pushing, or forming an opinion...practice patience...do what you can to discover the missing piece...or calmly await its arrival.

In the meanwhile, we can repurpose our energies, focus, time, and being into other areas in our control that will pay better dividends.

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Online group therapy?
facebook.com/groups/relationshipmasters

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👥 Join the therapy group:
facebook.com/groups/relationshipmasters

👤 Support us on Patreon:
patreon.com/relationshipmasters