English with Aytan

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A shiver of sharks, a charm of hummingbirds, a boost of hippos...

Watching tv programs with my son, I was struck but the way the English language has changed since I was a kid.

No longer do they talk about policemen and firemen. Now in our politically correct world it’s all about Police Officers and Fire Fighters - a bit harder for a 2 year old to pronounce though....

WHY ENGLISH IS SO HARD

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.If
you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do
you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

That's all for now.

See you later alligator!
In a while crocodile!

When you are bored just think about a few things that don't make sense ...like ;
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1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
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2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
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3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
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4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
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5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
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6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
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7. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims"
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8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
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9. If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.
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Six great confusions still unresolved 😄😂
1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?
2. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?
3. Why is there a 'D' in fridge,
but not in refrigerator?
4. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?
And now sixer ....
Vagaries of English Language! Enjoy!!!😀😀😀😂😅😂
- Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?
-Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?
- How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?
- If money doesn't grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?
- If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?
- How do you get off a non-stop Flight?
- Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?
- Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?
- Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?
- Why is it called 'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then?
- How come Noses run and Feet smell?
- Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?
- What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?
We can never find the answers, can we?
So just enjoy the pun and fun of the English language!!!

I before E - except after C - basic spelling rule but as everyone knows, rules are made to be broken....

What are the giveaways that someone is faking a British accent?

Ask them to say the following:

“I was on my way to Edinburgh when I stopped to get some fresh herbs. I gave them water, and wrapped them in aluminium foil. A man asked me to try a new flavour of Worcestershire sauce with added vitamins. But I was behind schedule, so I said I ate already, got the car from the garage and headed north ignoring the adverts.”

If an American can fool me that they’re British through that lot, I’ll award them a passport myself.

Something to think about. Do we not have any time for polite meaningless conversation anymore?

You need to stop writing 'I hope you're well' in emails - here's what to say instead I hope you’