Beverly Chimes Coaching

Sitting in my office in Beit Shemesh.
I'm about to start a zoom session with a client in Tel Aviv.
She messages me that a siren just went off.

That's the reality.

Wherever you are - sending you love.

As Rav Lundin says:
The bad will pass
The good will prevail.

And I'll add:
In this moment tune in to what you need and try give it to yourself.

I’ve been watching this season of Israel’s Amazing Race - המירוץ למיליון.

Other than being entertaining, there’s so much to learn from it.

When watching I’m involved in so much more than the surface story. I love seeing the deeper process - what goes on behind the struggles and successes. What makes someone overcome enormous difficulty and how exactly do they do that?

And this is what I’ve noticed:

All the contestants struggled at points. It was physically grueling and emotionally taxing.

(Sounds like life sometimes, no?)

They fully experienced their frustration to the point of anger or tears.

There were moments of huge triumph and moments of desperate hopelessness.

So what made them get through the tough times?

It came down to 3 things:

* Feeling what they were feeling.

* Encouraging themselves - remembering who they are and what they are capable of.

* Their teammate believing in them and lifting them up.

So let’s break this down a bit.

When they were in the thick of it and struggling - they were experiencing so many different emotions. Frustration, anger and hopelessness, to name a few. Sometimes it got so hard that they froze, lashed out, gave up or cried.

And then something incredible happened.

They changed the way they were speaking.

From: I can’t, I’m not strong enough, This is too hard for me,

they changed their words which changed everything.

They started to encourage themselves and remind themselves of their capabilities and capacity.

They said things like:

I can do this. I am capable of conquering this.

I am strong.

I am determined.

Now is the time! Right now I’m going to finish this.

When their language changed so did everything else. They were more energized. They were more confident and determined. And they succeeded.

There were times that they were struggling so much that there was no way they could pull themselves up. But someone else did - usually their teammate, sometimes even someone from another team. At that moment they needed someone else to believe in them, to see them, know them more than for who they were in this excruciating moment. Remind them of what they can accomplish. Remind them of their capacity and capabilities.

The season is nearly over and the lessons are lasting ones.
* Feel what it is you’re feeling. There’s no value in pushing it under the carpet.
* Listen to the words you’re telling yourself. Are your thoughts dragging you down even further?
* Change your language - not in a false, cheerleader, woohoo way - but in truth, what else do you know to be true about yourself?
* When you’re not able to lift yourself up - look for a helper, reach out to someone who sees the whole of you, who knows who you are beyond this current pain. Let them remind you of who you are.

The thoughts you think create the way you feel, which determines the actions you take or don’t take, which creates your results.

Tune in and notice what you’re thinking.
Change begins in the way you think and talk to yourself.
Be kind, remember your capabilities, and know who you really are!

Shana Tova: May it be a year of safety, return and healing.

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P.S. This is the work that I do with my clients. I give them space and time to feel what they’re feeling and speak out the words they’re thinking.

And then we work on changing their instinctive, often unkind internal thinking. We change the inner talk to be supportive, real, accurate and encouraging.

And that changes everything!

My clients experience relief and hope. They become energized and feel so much more alive.

They feel grounded, heard, valued and confident. They become present in their lives. They remember who they are and become the next, proud version of themselves.

If you're interested in hearing more, message me to set up a time to talk about how we can work together.

From a client (shared with permission, as always):

You get to the core of the issue and make connections that I completely missed. And then everything makes sense and fits together and the change i can make is so obvious!! It's genuis. Wow!

Having a hard moment?

Think of someone you could help right now.
You don't have to move mountains for them.
Think of one thing you could do that's totally manageable for you and meaningful for them.

Like a message saying: Hi, I'm thinking of you.
Or a phone call,
Or send them a meme you saw that you thought they would like.
Or connect them to something that's helpful for them.

See someone. Let them know you've seen them.

And strangely enough that will make you feel better.

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I am a life coach for professional women.
I help them overcome burnout, deal with difficult relationships and their own self doubt.
From working with me life becomes so much more manageable, lighter and more enjoyable. There's more satisfaction and energy in a day.

Want to know more?
Check out my website: beverlychimes.com

One thing today - ONE
That will lift your energy
That will be a smallest stepping stone in the direction you want to go.

ONE action

So what's it going to be?

Out of your comfort zone means you're going to be squirming, sweating, super not comfortable.

If you've decided to do something new - and you're feeling these things - congratulate yourself - because you just fulfilled your desire - you went out of where you're used to hanging out - and that's where the magic happens

As a busy woman, you’re probably holding a lot.
All the things that need to get done.
All the people that need to get taken care of - at work and at home.
Throw the war into the mix and that ups all that you’re holding.

It’s like a constant moving between all that needs to get held and all that needs to get done.
And that’s the way life works.
You’re holding a lot.
Some simple technical things, Some super complex or emotional or spiritual or even existential.
It’s a lot.

And it’s a lot to keep holding over a long period of time.
It’s exhausting and can totally stop you from getting to where you want to go.
In fact it’s so exhausting that it’s almost impossible to remember where you wanted to go and why you wanted that!

So - here’s my question for you:
Do you have a place where you can lay it ALL down, no filter required?
And gently sort it through? Picking up one strand at a time and making sense of it.
Without guilt or judgment.
(You may be wondering if that’s even possible???)

Not only is this possible, it’s a relief and a springboard to where you want to go next.
We’re living in a complicated time. So normal life that’s already extra becomes super extra.

So stop for a moment and think if you have to go it alone, or on minimal support?
You don’t!

You can get help holding your load,
You can put it down for a bit.
You can find new ways of doing things that feed you as opposed to only draining you.

That’s how my clients describe the work we do together -
A relief
A sorting
A place of total acceptance - where no thought or feeling or reaction is judged.
An opportunity to empty out the really hard stuff and perhaps change the way you saw it.

Especially now, please find the place where you can put your load down for a bit and create lasting relief. You’ve got so much to do in the world, and we want to make sure you get to show up to do it.

If you’re interested in doing this with me, please schedule a chat so we can talk about exactly what you need and how working with me would give you that.

Are you feeling so depleted?
Watch my free webinar on Recovering from Burnout.

It's been a tough year and there was pressure and stress and well.. life even before the war.

There's a better way - Link is in the comments

In from a client (posted with permission, as always):

I had so many AHA moments from you today.
They were super important for me and change so much for me.
I'm rocking my day!
Thank you!

I always thought that we feel something as a reaction to something that happens.

But I've learned and see it over and over again that when something happens, in a split second you think a thought, which creates your feelings, which in turn determines your actions and that creates your results.

The place where you can press pause and create change is at that initial thought.

(This is illustrated in the graphic below.)

So next time something you don't like happens, catch the thought you had.

See how you can change that thought to be more positive or neutral, which will then affect your feelings and actions.

I'm not talking about lying to yourself. That won't work. I mean find an alternate thought that you believe. And that's just as strong as the initial thought.

My client is a busy professional woman.
In her community, there's a high value to running a home well. It is not something she enjoys at all. So she hired someone to work in her kitchen. Every time her kitchen helper walked in she felt like a failure.

So we broke it down:
Circumstance - Her kitchen helper arrived.
Thought - I should be doing this myself.
Feeling - Ugh! I'm a failure.
Action - Retreat.
Result - Even less involved at home and feeling really bad about it.

We looked for a thought that's true and came to:
I know how to hire the right person, so my family's needs are beautifully met.

And then it went like this:
Circumstance - Her kitchen helper arrived.
Thought - I know how to hire the right person so my family's needs are beautifully met.
Feeling - Proud and capable.
Action - Got more involved in what she wanted her helper to do.
Result - Great food to suite the whole family and she had more time to focus on her important work projects.

This is mindset work.

It may look complicated but once you learn a few techniques and tricks, it becomes do-able.

Your mindset is change-able and adaptable. It can turn your experiences from negative to positive, or back again.

And you can control the thoughts you choose to think.


So try it out.
Play with it.
You can change things.
You can change that place that is triggering you over and over again.

P.S. This is the work I do with my clients. If you want to hear about how this can work for you, please schedule a call.

If you know someone who would benefit from this email - please share this with them. Thanks!

I'm meeting with wonderful women who are so burnt out.

Exhausted.
Just not able to catch their breaths
They have so much desire to accomplish good things.....
But they're wiped!

When they sign up with me as a life coaching client, we work on getting them back to themselves, releasing the pressure and creating a new mindset that's more gentle and less judgmental.

And once she's back to herself, she can make the impact that she so wants.

So if this is you, or someone you love, please know that there is a solution.
Set up a time to talk with me about how we can work together.
(link in the comments)

Why do this?
Because you're worth it!
And you have so much to bring to your world

So much on the go!

Doing the last edits on my class for tomorrow. Teaching Debbie Sassen Coaching class tomorrow afternoon - Wired for Wealth. We're going to be discussing Leadership.

Prepping my session for Rifka Lebowitz's and Nefesh b'nefesh Conference Living Financially Smarter in Israel on June 2nd.

Full day of coaching.

So grateful!