B.C.D. Productions

Official Statement: DOB has retired. We thank him for his service to our school and for trying to help our sales manager Conor McBride learn maths, but to no avail. Eoin Molloy and our glorious Managing Director to be appointed his successors.

We would like to point out that today's FIFA 12 tournament was a complete fix. Our boys Brandon O'Callaghan and Thomas Lane produced a magnificent performance to beat Danky and Davey Weldon 4-2 (Daniel Agger was sent off for them), but then Evan Keoghan fixed the draw and put us against Jordan Kirwan and Ciaran Walsh who sneaked a narrow 3-0 win. Our boys shall appeal this result as the suspended Daniel Agger played in that match. Evan is a cheat and Ms. McMullen also has a lot to answer for.

B.C.D. Productions would like to wish Brandon O'Callaghan and Thomas Lane the very best of luck (they don't really need it) in tomorrow's FIFA 12 tournament in St. Paul's Community College. They face a piss-poor duo of Danky and David Weldon in the first round so our boys should easily put 4 past em without reply.

Put 'em under pressure! (We're all part of Jackie's Army) Ireland's performance.. Italia 1990. we are all part of Jackie's army.. we are all off to win the league..

I told the monster in my closet if he ever came out, that would make him gay. That takes care of that.

Does February march? No, but April may. Hahahaha! Get it? Coz all the words are corresponding months...f**k off then.

I think it's time for a celebratory w**k following the Republic of Ireland's incredible win tonight!

Baz was shot by shoulders who were waiting for Modern Warfare to come out while he was skiing in South Korea. They couldn't afford Modern Warfare so Baz was jailed and he died in Bangladesh Prison. USA was saddened by the loss of their brave shoulder so they nuked the Vatican. They responded by holding a prayer service hoping that USA dies of obesity. Meanwhile, Russians were drinking vodka and shooting slaves as they came from the Japanese border. Japan retaliated by throwing boiled rice at them. Russia then shot Tom/Ikey in the face with an RPG 360 no-scope. Make Conor admin.

What size is the batten?

We would just like to point out that our two sales managers are the lowest forms of life on Earth. They are not even human fu***ng beings. They are nothing but unorganised grabastic pieces of amphibian s**t.

B.C.D. Productions are delighted to announce the signing of a new Promotional Officer in Shane McConnell who has started his career by helping us secure our 50th liker. Andrew Ryan has been signed up as the new Delivery Van Driver, and you can find him causing carnage on the roads of the South-East. We have also secured the signature of Adam Cheasty who will be our Middle-East correspondent (we're not sure why we have this position but that's how the cookie crumbles). Adam has already acquired a taste for South-East Asian women.

B.C.D. Productions Official Statement: B.C.D. Productions would like to announce that our glorious founder Mr. P. Murphy is a dirty cheating cheater and he should have seen red for hitting that lad in the carrots and onions during the hurling the other night. To confirm, this status does not express the official views of B.C.D. Productions, as we would not like him to punch us in the balls for calling the cheat a cheat.

B.C.D. Productions Breaking News: Coady Clogs Our Crapper With 4,000 Typed Words