Wicklow Life Coach

02/04/2022

This quote takes a bit of thought but it’s wise in its simplicity. However, as I’ve said before, simple isn’t always easy
Especially when things have worked out sadly, badly or completely out of our control like accidents, losses, and illnesses. Not forgetting a worldwide pandemic, of course

While trying to navigate our lives, we are often plunged into a set of circumstances that may not be what we would have chosen, nor liked, but these are the ones we find ourselves in
We then have a choice….
To fight it, or go along with it

No matter how we choose, the situation is a reality in our lives at that point in time
It is ‘what is’

Surely, anything worth it, is worth fighting for?
Yes, in a lot of incidences, it is
But by fighting it, we are fighting against ‘what is’, so, is this really an option?
Fighting against reality is a bit like trying to stop the sea from hitting the shore

And going along with it seems like a cop out, right?
It’s not.

Going along with it gives us the chance to ride it out, while we work on questioning it, understanding it, acknowledging it; and, in the end, accepting it and what we can, or cannot, do in our power about it; what we can, or cannot, influence; above all, deciding on, and choosing, our attitude towards it

Making the best of how we handle our situation is a real strength as it is ‘managing’ it.
Especially the ones outside our control, which are many (some philosophies say nothing is in our control!)

Doing this avoids losing your head in anger and frustration (there is, of course, room for those emotions too)

It is allowing yourself to slow down, get all the facts, gather all your energies and resources, help where you can, to lessen the impact; help also by being self-compassionate as you try to make sense of what has happened
This is the powerful choice

From here, you can allow your resilience to help you bounce back and go forward

This really is making the best of how things work out, as your best is all you can ever do and it’s enough

Make the best of the bad lot; make the silk purse out of the sow’s ear; see the silver lining in that black cloud.

That’s your power

06/01/2022

This little quote is singing out to me today as the temperatures drop….

I was looking, quite deliberately, for an ‘anti-New-Year-resolution’ quote as I do not agree with making them. At all. Especially in January.
There actually should be a psychological health warning against them!

These words reinforce my belief that we do not need to put pressure on ourselves (yes, we are the pressure-ers!) to do anything other than resting up, going easy on ourselves, and hibernating in January

Yes, I know Covid has turned us all into serial hibernators – for a good reason – however, every winter we must listen to our body clocks; must pay heed to the winter season; must acknowledge the sunlight deficiency; must keep warm and snug, as this is our way of making sure that as the darling Spring buds reappear, so will we

This means we give ourselves the gift of time; time to ‘plot and plan’ as this quote cheers us on to do; time to reflect and listen to our hearts, minds and bodies
The time to ‘move’ is indeed Spring, not now….

You can hear it in the word! spring into life! spring in your step! springboard to doing, moving, being!

So, be compassionate with yourself every January

Get yourself ready for your unfurling at the end of February when the daffodils are echoing the colour of the energising sun

A cold, grey, rainy day in January is not the time….
A limited-light-hours day in January is hardly encouraging….

But, like spring bulbs that are resting in the dark soil in our pots and gardens, getting nourishment from their stored energy, we need to rest and nourish ourselves. They’ll be ready to burst out in Spring, so too will we

By all means, get out for the wintry walks for air and exercise; cook the warming soups and roast dinners; be mindful of the screen time and move more around the house; however, do not, for one minute, feel guilty about the amount of time you may spend indoors, as this is normal winter behaviour for us
We just have had a bit too much of it over the past, nearly two, years….

So, embrace it; do your ‘plotting and planning’ and prepare to emerge and ‘move’ like the hosts of golden daffodils in Spring!!

27/11/2021

Standing in our own way seems like an odd concept

But do we?

We do, more than we might think

If we do think about it, we may realise that we stop ourselves from doing things, holding ourselves back, quite a lot

We do, however, tend to blame other people; circumstances, age, lack of money, the weather, the Government; whole hosts of reasons stopping us from completing tasks, achieving things, being/living better than we are now

We stand in our own way more often than any other obstacles blocking our paths do….

It really is something worth looking into

By looking, we could learn the simple, yet valuable, lesson of taking personal responsibility for our own lives - at all times - so that we don’t expect others to take it for us

If we all took responsibility for how well our little ‘bubbles’ behave, these positive bubbles will all join up eventually

Once you take personal responsibility, once you identify your strengths, once you see your so-called obstacles clearly - figuring out your ways around them - you will progress positively and be a happier, more productive, more contented person

You, and only you, are stopping yourself

You, and only you, are keeping the anxiety going in your head

You, and only you, are standing in your own way

This is not negative; this is not beating yourself up over any shortcomings you think you may have, this is not counter-productive

This is, in fact, a positive: this is giving you an insight into how you may be holding yourself back by not being your own best supporter in moving yourself forward

This is wonderful news as, if you are the main obstacle in your way, you get to remove yourself first, then go on to identify and barge through all the other ones

You now have the knowledge that you can find solutions and answers to pretty much everything you encounter in life

You’ll realise you need not be afraid of anything anymore as you CAN work it all out

So, move aside

Make the choice to actively engage positively in your own life, radiating this out to those close to you, in turn out to the rest of our beautiful blue planet

Get out of the way of humanity as a whole by getting out of your own way first. That’s something positive you can do today

09/10/2021

Simple little exercise in this quote

What is it really saying though?

The main message I think is that lovely phrase, ‘Happiness is an Inside Job’, which means it’s in there somewhere, in each of us, we just have to get into the habit of accessing it to bring it to the surface

This is great news as that means your own happiness is under your own control

So, is it really that simple?

Well yes, but simple isn’t always easy, that’s why it takes a bit of work

This list is very concise, so won’t take that long
It’s very to the point and direct, so there’s really no danger of misinterpretation:
What makes you happy?
What do you do every day?
Then - the science bit - Compare
If you’re doing something that makes you unhappy, adjust accordingly

So yes, it’s that simple

We do stuff every day for all sorts of reasons – duty, guilt, should, ought and ‘I have to’
• But do you have to?
• Have you thought, really thought, and questioned your motivations recently?
• Have you revised the reasons behind what you do all the time?
• Are you acting out of habit, but a habit that happens to not be a good one for you?

If you think that your happiness is someone’s else’s responsibility; that happiness is something, someone, outside yourself; that it’s unquantifiable, hazy; maybe have a bit of a think about this

Think about what you can do to make a difference to, and increase, your happiness levels

Another simple concept: choice

A lot of the time we don’t think we have any, whereas every day, even in the most awful circumstances, you have the choice: of how to react, to think, to do, to say, to feel, at any given time

So, if you have access to choice everyday, you CAN choose to access your internal happiness source and, therefore, to be happy when you want to be

It really is that simple

Have you wondered where in the world you would start if you did want to make decisions and choices to live a happier, more content life?

Make that list ……start there

08/08/2021

Getting back into the writing habit after a few months break - and a bit of Covid apathy....so this word, I think, is apt to start having a new, fresh outlook on life.....

Perspective is a familiar word, but its practical meaning and ex*****on is sometimes misconstrued.

We understand perspective in a painting, or photography; we know that what is far away is less clear - what’s in the foreground is fully visible and detailed

But perspective as a concept in our daily lives? Not so clear…

Using, or having, perspective to make sense of our surroundings is probably one of the most important things to get the hang of as it is a good, possibly even necessary, way to make sound decisions and choices throughout our lives.

I’d go so far as to say that using it is the most efficient, and effective, way to view our world; as we know, life is never straightforward.

Using the power of perspective will also cut down on, if not annihilate, unnecessary stress in our lives

So, what is perspective and how do we use it?

I’ve used the phase, ‘there is more than one way to skin a cat’, a lot to illustrate it (probably not pc anymore, however….)

Perspective is looking at everything from more than one side, using different lenses. It’s not being tunnel-visioned; it’s being expansive, using a wide-angled, panoramic setting on our outlook (is that enough photography-speak?!)

Bottom line: there is more than one way to process what is in front of you to understand your situation better.

There is more than one way to ‘hear’ what a person is saying to you, i.e., non-verbal cues; using all your five senses (plus instinct, intuition, gut feelings – sixth sense?)

There are more than the facts in front of you; they can be coloured by our belief system - past experiences and upbringing

There is more than one side to EVERY story. There are several; more than one point of view. Always.

Using your powers of perspective (yes, we all have this superpower!) you will not only make better decisions in your daily life, but you’ll also be a calmer and happier person, as using perspective will stop you jumping to conclusions; making up worst-case scenarios; being sad by using the ‘If onlys’ or ‘what ifs’; flying off the handle in anger at what you think a friend, relative or call-centre operator is saying to you…. the list is endless!

Using perspective will give you the unique opportunity of taking that precious pause in which to gather and assimilate information; taking enough time to make/have a considered reply/reaction to whatever it is that you need to process

Too time consuming?

Well, when you use perspective as a default setting (after habitual use) it will take you only SECONDS longer to come up with your best reply, reaction, decision and/or choice of action

It will ALWAYS make you a more compassionate person; as you will look at things from others’ perspectives, allowing a more harmonious way of conducting ALL your relationships.

Now, who wouldn’t want that….

30/04/2021

We are nearing the end of this particular pandemic tunnel, we can just about see some light up ahead, we’re almost there.

Like sunshine after rain; we just forget. Every. Time.

We have to believe that behind that light is the next bit. It may not look quite the same as it was, but it will look infinitely better than it has been.

Even as we finally look forward to life AC (after Covid 19) we might like to think about bringing along all the good stuff that happened to us as a planet over the course of this pandemic, notwithstanding, and with full respect, to those that have suffered illness and loss

It would be nice to know that we will benefit from the new insights the loss of freedoms have left us with, keeping them as nuggets of knowledge and enlightenment to carry us forward into a better time, as better people

We have to commend ourselves for the resilience we have shown; the compassion towards ourselves and others that we probably took for granted, or didn’t see much of, BC. Hopefully it’ll be integral to our post-Covid habits

But hopefully isn’t good enough.

We have to make a decision to remind ourselves, constantly, that we shouldn’t take our freedoms for granted; nor our health, nor that of our families, friends, everyone.

Who would have thought that just over a year ago our roads would be empty of going-to-work traffic; who would have guessed at the sacrifices people would have to make?

Who would have said we couldn’t go out and do what we liked, or go out at all, stay home, stay safe, mask up.....for a year!!

Lucky we didn’t have a crystal ball.

This should remind us that worrying about the future is a fool’s errand; we have no idea what is up ahead. This is a good thing really; another exhortation to try to live in the present as much as possible

This past year has, inadvertently, introduced more people to the practice of mindfulness and meditation, in whatever form you choose, than ever before.

Keep choosing this, along with the belief in that light at the end of the tunnel. It’s like stars on a sunny day: just because we don’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not there

10/03/2021

https://www.alustforlife.com/tools/hope-is-a-tiny-word-with-big-ideas

To keep the hopefulness going.....🙂

Hope is a tiny word but it carries big ideas - expectation, optimism, aspirations, plans, dreams, wishes, good outcomes - to name but a few. We are all hoping that our world will come back to us resembling how it once was before Covid 19 hit us like a giant meteorite from space

10/02/2021

A Lust for Life campaign .....great idea to keep your spirits up! why not have a go? 🙂