08/09/2022
"I'm ashamed of my English".
Have you ever said this? I hear it so often, that students are afraid of speaking English in front of others because they feel they’re being judged.
The things we feel shame for as humans are unreal. Did you steal something? Yeah, you should feel ashamed. Stab someone in the back? Shouldn’t feel too good about yourself for doing that either. But to feel shame just because you don’t sound like you grew up in Ohio when you speak English—NOT your native tongue—because, um, well, you didn’t grow up in Ohio? Well, that’s just ridiculous.
Do you judge others when they speak English? When was the last time you heard someone speak imperfect English and thought, “Jesus, what a moron”?
Never? That’s what I thought.
So why do you think anyone else is judging your English? And if someone actually is, well, they’re a jerk, and their opinion doesn’t matter. There’s a saying in English, “Those who matter don’t care, and those who care don’t matter.” This is the truth.
Another truth: if you're speaking English to someone who is a native speaker, they are NOT expecting perfect English from you. And if you're speaking English to someone whose native language is NOT English, guess what. They have the exact same struggles as you, no matter how good you think their English is.
If someone non-native speaks English better than you, it most likely means they invested more time and energy into it than you did, were surrounded by it more. Yes, of course, some people are more talented at languages than others, but even then, so what? Life is not a competition!
Comparing ourselves to anyone, regarding anything, is senseless. If I have different genes than you, grew up with a different family, went to different schools, have different talents and interests, had different jobs and life experiences—how on earth can I compare myself to you regarding anything? It makes zero sense. It’s one thing to look up to someone for inspiration, but never, ever compare yourself to someone else. You can never win.
When it comes to language learning, if you can communicate in a foreign language, you “won” anyway. Because that’s the whole point of speaking another language—to be able to communicate. And you’re there. You’re constantly doing it.
Do you even realize how impressive that is on its own?
There’s always more to learn, of course, and it’s laudable to want to improve your language skills—to learn, to grow. And there’s always room to grow. But trust me—if you can read this, and if you use English to get around when you travel, and if you use it at work, and if you can read books and magazines and papers in English—your English is pretty darn good. Celebrate that.
You probably have no sense of how much you’ve accomplished so far. Take a minute to think about it. And remember to pat yourself on the back from time to time 😊.
