http://www.buildingresilientwomen.com/

Mel Ngui, No.5 17/F Bonham Trade Center, 50 Bonham Strand, Sheung Wan, Hong Kong, Sheung Wan (2026)

01/01/2021

𝑫𝒆𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓. For most people, this is a block because they never really define their goals or start toward achieving them.

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒅𝒆𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖:
✨ Focus your energy and attention on moving towards your goals.
✨ Support this focus with continuous effort + sound planning.
✨ Stay determined to learn, evolve, and grow toward your goals.

𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒂𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒂𝒍𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆, so that they grow to fulfillment.

We create our reality by what we choose to give your attention to. Whatever we focus on expands. Focus is neutral. It does not discriminate between whether we focus on positive life fulfilling experiences, or limiting disempowering experiences. Whatever we focus on grows.

𝑻𝒊𝒑𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒈𝒐𝒂𝒍𝒔.

✨ 𝑨 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒎 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅.
Desires that originate from your peaceful true self are aligned with what is life supporting for you. Consistently practice quiet time for self reflection and aligning what you need to be fulfilled in your relationships, families, careers, passions.

✨ 𝑨 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒆𝒙𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔.
Desires that arise in an agitated, worried, or confused mind will struggle to be fulfilled. In negative states during times of extreme anger, fear, grief, guilt, and shame we are in a disempowering limited state. We are unable to make long term decisions that are life supporting while we are reactive.

👉 For most of my life, I made many fear-based decisions.
I carried the baggage of shame, grief, and anger around with me from residual pain of abuse I’d never let go. I was never conscious that these negative emotions affected my mental state, self beliefs, and view on life.

👉 When I let go of my baggage, I realigned myself to what I needed to become empowered.
I became less reactive and more intentional

30/12/2020

“𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚” 𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚.

Thank you

💡 “𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚” - This one I’ve had the most trouble swallowing, mostly because it took me years of accepting there is some truth to this.

Not until we’re jammed between a rock and a hard place do we realize just how much weight this lesson carries.

💡 𝑾𝒆’𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒅 - constantly working to win the recognition of our peers, to be socially accepted, to get praise and rewards from our parents, and then later…as adults…to move on up the corporate ladder and find our place in our relationships as spouse/ partner/ fiance.

💡 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒂 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆.
What happens here, is we find ourselves in a cycle of putting ourselves second to the needs or demands of others regardless of how unhappy we find ourselves becoming.

Some relationships end, business moves on, our children grow up, and soon we find ourselves trying to “find ourselves” again.

✨𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙨𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙖𝙡𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧, consider what makes you happy.
When there’s no one else’s needs to cater to…what brings you joy, fulfillment, and a feeling like you’ve still got juice in your bones? 𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙖𝙡𝙨.

✨𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙪𝙨 𝙪𝙥.
Think of happiness from the 𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 as water flowing into a bottomless cup.
Think of happiness from the 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 (the kind that you create just by taking care of yourself, loving on yourself, and remembering that you have needs too)…as a stop cork from which every other thing can build on.

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖? 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒅𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕? Drop them in the comments.

30/12/2020

“𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚” 𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚.

Thank you

💡 “𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚” - This one I’ve had the most trouble swallowing, mostly because it took me years of accepting there is some truth to this.

Not until we’re jammed between a rock and a hard place do we realize just how much weight this lesson carries.

💡 𝑾𝒆’𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒅 - constantly working to win the recognition of our peers, to be socially accepted, to get praise and rewards from our parents, and then later…as adults…to move on up the corporate ladder and find our place in our relationships as spouse/ partner/ fiance.

💡 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒂 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆.
What happens here, is we find ourselves in a cycle of putting ourselves second to the needs or demands of others regardless of how unhappy we find ourselves becoming.

Some relationships end, business moves on, our children grow up, and soon we find ourselves trying to “find ourselves” again.

✨𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒚?
When there’s no one else’s needs to cater to…what brings you joy, fulfillment, and a feeling like you’ve still got juice in your bones?

𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙩’𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙪𝙨 𝙪𝙥. Think of happiness from the outside as water flowing into a bottomless cup. Think of happiness from the inside (the kind that you create just by taking care of yourself, loving on yourself, and remembering that you have needs too)…as a stop cork from which every other thing can rest on.

𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖? 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒅𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕? Drop them in the comments. Find your ☀️ on the inside.

25/12/2020

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖, may you be filled up on the inside by your 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒉, 𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒇, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒆.

✨𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒃𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔, 𝒍𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔, 𝒐𝒓 𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒔 - know that does not define your worth or your happiness.

✨𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅, 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒅, 𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒐𝒙𝒊𝒄 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 - remember to do what you can to keep your energy high and recharge when you can.

✨𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖’𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏, I feel you.

𝑫𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒅 to have the holiday cheer if that’s genuinely putting you under unnecessary stress.  ✨ 𝑫𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒖𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖 and enjoy the season safely.

✨ 𝑫𝒐 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 to take care of you and fill up from the inside.

To your mental and emotional health this season!

Love Mel. 💕

24/12/2020

✨ 𝑨𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒅𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒑 𝒖𝒏𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔? Rolling into Christmas dinners and family reconnections with negative thoughts on your mind?

Whatever you’re thinking just remember that not everything we think or believe is true. Just as not everything people say are based on facts and not every opinion we can agree with.

✨ 𝑨𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏?

✧ Do your best to get what’s bothering you out of your head and put it down on paper.

✧ If you’re more vocal, send a memo to yourself are chat quietly to yourself about what’s going on.

✧ This helps your brain process the conflicted thoughts and emotions you may be experiencing this time of year.

✨ Wherever you are this season, as you work to give others gifts and well wishes, give yourself:

🎁 Attention to take care of you
🎁 Permission to feel the way you feel
🎁 More credit for all that continues to do right by you
🎁 Patience for the things you’re still learning to do well
🎁 Forgiveness for all the ways you think you could be better
🎁 Unconditional love the kind that only we can give to ourselves
🎁 A break to stop, sit, and stare if that’s what you’re called to do

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇? 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆? Drop a 🙌 in the comments and let me know.

22/12/2020

✨ 𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒅?
We’ve gotten used to the idea of physically healing. Yet, the idea of healing emotionally or mentally can be lost on us.

If it’s not visibly broken, we are inclined to overlook, ignore, or neglect it. To survive this, we develop ways to cope in whichever way we know-how.

✨ 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕’𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒎?
The problem is, sometimes our coping mechanisms hurt us in other areas of our lives even though we think we can manage it.

There comes a time when even our best coping mechanisms begin to fail us. They begin to bring us diminishing returns as the emotional and mental pressure continue to rise within us.

✨𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒍?

Sometimes even the best intentions of friends and family are not able to bring us back to baseline.

Unresolved issues from the past, things not going as planned, missed goals and opportunities bubble inside us and fester into a break down of trust , resentment, anger, and guilt.

✨𝑾𝒉𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐 𝒊𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒕?  …because healing involves:

✅ reconnecting with the part of us that we no longer see because we’ve not healed our emotional and mental issues.

✅ finding healthier ways to face, process, and overcome the conflicts within us.

✅ getting help when how we’ve been coping on our own no longer brings results.

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇? 𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒖𝒑 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇? Let me know in the comments.

17/12/2020

“𝑯𝒚𝒑𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒎𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒑𝒔𝒚𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒚 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅. All true hypnosis is, by definition, self-hypnosis. Nobody can be hypnotized against his or her will.” - Harvard Medical School.

𝗔𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗡𝗲𝘂𝗿𝗼 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 (𝗡𝗟𝗣), 𝗮 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝘆, I’m always interested in how we can use our brain to break self-destructive patterns and achieve states other than what we typically can just using our conscious mind.

✨𝗧𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗽 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱, 𝘄𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗯𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀. This is what controls 95% of our daily functions without our awareness. When we use hypnosis, we bypass the conscious critical mind and tap into our sub-conscious.

𝗠𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮 𝗽𝗵𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝟮𝟬𝘀. The shifts I was able to make in mindset was exponential compared to traditional therapy. This then led me to hypnosis where I find several similarities between the two as far as letting go of pain, reconnecting to inner power, and reconditioning the mind to focus on positive behaviors, thoughts, and ultimately beliefs.

✨ 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝗮 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 who can work with you to release your pain. When you get control you can begin to do lighter self-work such as light meditation and of course, self-hypnosis to reaffirm positive empowering beliefs.

The information here is not intended to treat or cure but simply to add to your arsenal of self-care tools of which I personally use in my own struggle to be here in the now.

With love, Mel💕   𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐𝒐𝒍𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒄𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒇𝒔? Let me know in the comments.

17/12/2020

For many people, the highest value in their lives and the strongest sense of purpose, their ikigai, is experienced when they consistently live a meaningful life true to their value standards” Yoshikazu Ueda⁠
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I saw myself while reading this.⁠
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✨At some point or another we find ourselves at some of these crossroads:⁠
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👉 In a relationship with shared values are absent (Eg. Maybe the desire for children or spirituality are not shared between both partners)⁠
👉 In a career which might be financially rewarding but soul-crushing or emotionally draining⁠
👉 In a family where communication and expressions of love are hard to come by⁠
👉 In a city where there are many business prospects but no deep connections⁠
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At some point, we materialize our goals but only to realize we overlooked what gives them meaning.⁠
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I find this concept of Ikigai useful when aligning value and meaning to goal setting. I thought I’d share this so you can reevaluate your goals too. Take what works and leave what doesn’t.⁠
⁠
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𝙄𝙠𝙞𝙜𝙖𝙞 𝘼𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 goes a step beyond Happiness.⁠
⁠
✨𝙋𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙁𝙪𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙊𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 ⁠
If you are struggling in your current situation you can still have ikigai as long as you you are working toward a goal for your future.⁠
⁠
✨𝙁𝙤𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙎𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙝⁠
Challenging situations at work, in family life, and other temporary setbacks can temporarily interrupt feeling happy. By focusing on your self worth you can persevere through hard times even though the road is rocky.⁠
⁠
✨𝘼𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙣𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙑𝙖𝙡𝙪𝙚𝙨⁠
 Ikigai is aligned with what your life values are (your non-negotiables) in your life. These are unique to your individual background, belief, and priorities. Therefore no one can say what your purpose is. You define this yourself. ⁠
⁠
Many people find their ikigai in several areas of their life. Ikigai is personal to you and is open to your interpretation.⁠
⁠
If you’re considering a new career and want to use Ikigai in the “western perspective”. Feel free to access the career guide linked to this post.⁠
⁠
𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙞𝙠𝙞𝙜𝙖𝙞? Let me know in the comments.

11/12/2020

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔 𝒘𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒎𝒊𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑𝒔 𝒘𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒔.

This year I’ve experienced shifts within myself that stirred up unresolved issues and I saw them reflected in the relationships in my life. It is a beautiful sign to witness how life is always giving us clues as to what we need to pay attention to.

𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙚𝙜𝙤 𝙞𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒈𝒐 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒖𝒔 𝒘𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒆𝒙𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒍𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒂𝒖𝒔𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒗𝒆.

✨ We need to be accepted by others, hired at job interviews, minimize conflict with others, or seem approachable.

✨ We fabricate this “public self” and neglect the true self on the inside…the self that only we see. The self that we forget to love, forget to accept, or judge so critically that we become our own worse critics, a slave to perfection.

✨ Trying to establish relationships with yourself and with others at the ego’s need for survival and gratification leads to conflict and tension.

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒈𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇?

✨ It becomes harder to feel compassion, acceptance, non judgement for ourselves.

✨ While we were out raising a family, paying the bills, and building a career fulfilling our ego’s need for survival, we’ve created a thick layer of suffering that blocks us from connecting to our peaceful true self.

✨ For ideal relationships with yourself and with others, we must get past the ego.  I hope the tips in this post is helpful on your journey of reconnection.

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒆𝒈𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇? Let me know in the comments.

10/12/2020

𝑾𝒆 𝒓𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒘𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒕 - 𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕.

Even though we seek meaningful connections, we often avoid closeness and intimacy because it can be scary to the ego self.

𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙫𝙪𝙡𝙣𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙, 𝙬𝙚 𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣 𝙤𝙛𝙛 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮. We do this when we are triggered by old trauma, feel pain or are fearful of what might come. and we instinctively work to protect ourselves.

This year this was was me. Switching off and disconnecting due to fear, shock, and the feeling of irreparable loss of control from what hit us all this year.

𝑫𝒆𝒇𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒎𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒖𝒔 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒖𝒏𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔. When they get out of control they can develop into negative patterns and cause us to disconnect in our relationships with ourselves and others.

𝙏𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙙𝙚𝙛𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙨𝙢𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙢, 𝙬𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤:
Stop assuming at the ego level that other people are to blame
Own up to your disconnecting even when the other person displays negative behavior
Embrace the belief that you always have control of the on/off switch to connect with others

When we remove the ego’s demands and neediness for survival and self gratification, there is only one need and that is the need to connect.

When you come to this realization and begin to act on it, disconnection with yourself and with others heals itself.

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅? Is it more self love, self compassion, feeling of being understood, sense of stability, self worth not tied to your accomplishments, faith in something guiding your life? Let me know in the comments.

09/12/2020

𝑲𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒂 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒖𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒔.

Our future is influenced by our past from which we cannot escape, especially when we injure others or ourselves.

✨𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙠𝙚𝙮 🔑 𝙩𝙤 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙚𝙩𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙨:
Owning the ability to make mid-course corrections in our life.
Finding the courage to make changes when what we’ve been doing is no longer working.

𝑩𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒌𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒓 “𝒌𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒂” 𝒂𝒅𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒔.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so too Personal Power lies in how we choose to see things.

Negative patterns are broken when we commit to working through our human faults and rising to our highest selves.

✨𝙒𝙚’𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙯𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙧 “𝙥𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙘 𝙨𝙮𝙢𝙗𝙤𝙡𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙨𝙨” 𝙨𝙤 𝙬𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙯𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙚𝙙𝙪𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙧𝙨, 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙨, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙩𝙨.

Yet many of us still still suffer on the inside from loss, depression, addiction, anger, low self worth, and separation from self. These are things outward success often neglects.

✨𝑫𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆.

None of us are free from the hard lessons life has given us until we have done the work to overcome them.

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒄𝒚𝒄𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌? Let me know in the comments.

03/12/2020

✨𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝑪𝑨𝑵’𝑻 𝒕𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚?
Past decisions result in limiting beliefs about ourselves.
Problems start when decision making is impacted and we stop seeing and seizing opportunities.

When we tell ourselves we CAN’T be or do something, we deny ourselves personal power to accomplish whatever that thing is.

✨𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇
I’m TOO overwhelmed to ……………
I will NEVER be able to …………..
I CAN’T …………….

When we do this, we’re training our subconscious that we 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙤𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙗𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣.

✨When we tell ourselves repeatedly we CAN’T, our subconscious makes the connection that we actually CANNOT. It does not rationalize.

This puts us in an unresourceful state where our thoughts, feelings, and physiology correspond to whatever our brain says.

❌ Inner voice reminds us we CANNOT
❌ Feelings tell us we’re not confident or secure
❌ Body loses its strength and vigour

✨𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒆’𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒄:

❌ I’m TOO overwhelmed so I can't ___________.
✅ I’m FEELING overwhelmed AND I can [insert what’s in your power to change].

❌ I’m SOOO stupid because I can’t ___________.
✅ I’m FEELING stupid AND I can [insert what’s in your power to change].

✨𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙧 𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙘 𝙞𝙨 𝙁𝙄𝙉𝘼𝙇, 𝘼𝘽𝙎𝙊𝙇𝙐𝙏𝙀, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝘿𝙊𝙈𝙄𝙉𝘼𝙉𝙏. It leaves no room for the possibility of change.

Tag on an “AND Statement” to the ending of whatever your inner critic says.
“𝐀𝐍𝐃 + 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 [𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥.]”

✨Be proactive and insert what’s within your control to change at the end of your statements.

This trains your subconscious that your FEELINGS and THOUGHTS are temporary.

Don’t get defensive with your inner critic. This is a sign that the relationship you’re having with yourself is not integrating.

Aim for INTEGRATION.

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒄? Let me know in the comments.

Mel Ngui

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