Growing with Pi

Join Bring Me A Book Hong Kong for an iconic tram parade and sharings with 4 local authors and illustrators. Be inspired to make your own picture book! See you 27th April at the HK Central Library in Causeway Bay!

In honour of book day, sharing a fun children’s picture book to ponder about the power of .

Help Mr Caprone, the goat, brainstorm how he can use the books he inherited from his aunt. How many quirky ideas can you come up with?

Original Italian text “I libri del signor Caprone” by Francesca Mascheroni.

Gardening has never been a forte of mine until Pi came along. Since then, we have experimented with planting and enjoyed the experience. I have found that planting and parenting share a number of life lessons.

1. Patience. Just as seeds take time to grow into plants, we are planting the seeds of values and attitudes in children in the early years. We don’t necessarily see the fruits of our labour just yet but they lay important foundations in the years to come.

2. Discipline and consistency. Come rain or shine, we make time to go to our field to water and check our plants. There are good and bad days in parenting but we should always try to connect with our children, especially during the bad moments.

3. Failures and acceptance. We fail often and the plants may wilt. No one is a perfect parent but we must all strive to be a reflective parent, accept when our efforts have backfired and be open to try other ways.

4. Importance of roots. Plants and children both need time and space to grow their roots. Strong roots help build resilience. Trust in the process and allow for strong roots to be built.

For parents, educators or anyone interested in the Montessori approach, I will be speaking at 兒童無限學校-蒙特梭利 Infinity Montessori Academy’s online seminar next Tuesday.

Join us to learn how you can start practising Montessori at home and how this approach can support your child’s development.

每月公益講座（網上）
【蒙特梭利初探：如何預備成人】
29/3 (週二）6pm-7pm
講者: 香港蒙特梭利研究及發展學會HKMRDA總幹事、兒童無限學校校長黃劭榮先生
HKMRDA認證講師及AMS美國蒙特梭利協會證照教師 Jeannie Leung
報名：https://bit.ly/36JT8Ti
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家長課程：【8小時基礎班】及【成長課程】
https://bit.ly/3dPKcfq
【參考書】兒童無限之法
兒童無限書店：service.infinitychildren.com
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【美國蒙特梭利協會 AMS 國際認證教師課程】
https://bit.ly/3Gfi4Pc

#蒙特梭利 #兒童無限學校 #蒙特梭利教師培訓

Children need room, not zoom!

Since the start of school suspension last Friday, I have received messages from parents asking about at-home resources. All week, my social media feed has been flooded with a stream of posts showing young children glued to their screens for zoom classes.

I am disheartened to see schools deferring to online “learning” with increasing regularity for young children. Since the onset of the pandemic in 2019, there have been countless appeals from educators and child development specialists advocating for outdoor playtime and social interactions over online lessons during school closures.

Children learn through play, through observing and interacting from others. Packing a child’s schedule with passive learning via a virtual platform is not learning. It goes against the very core nature of children whom require movement. With excessive screen-time, there is little room left for children to have downtime to explore and make discoveries for themselves.

To help children during this school suspension, I would suggest for parents to prepare some opportunities for open-ended play. If access to outdoor prove difficult, here are some ideas you can set up at home.

1. Minimal preparation - Before going out to buy materials, always check if there are things you can up-cycle at home. For messy play, do ensure you have a mat/tray and cleaning materials handy and only give quantities that you are confident you and your child can clean up relatively easily afterwards.

2. Children are in-charge! They get to decide what, how and when to use the materials. This is a great confidence builder for any child as they engage their problem-solving and decision making skills - the building blocks for cognitive development.

3. Great creative outlet - let your child’s imagination lead them. My personal favourite item to give Pi is a cardboard box and see what ideas she comes up with. They can paint/decorate/cut up the box (all wonderful opportunities to practise fine motor skills).

4. Stress relieving - this break from routine can be daunting for young children whom thrive on consistencies. For young children, they may have questions as to why the playgrounds or their social activities have come to an abrupt closure or hiatus. Open-ended materials such as kinetic sand, water or a mix of loose parts can be a great stress reliever and allows children to process their emotions during this uncertain time.

5. Room to observe - When you see children absorbed in their work, don’t immediately ask them, “What are you making?”. Give them space and time to continue their work and let them share with you their product when they are ready. You may discover new things about your children.

The first 3 years is an incredible time. Our development progresses in leaps and bounds, incomparable to any other periods of our lives.

As I drew this psycho developmental timeline, I am reminded of the absolute need to protect our children’s first fundamental years.

Children have an innate ability to develop and we should respect their own timelines and unique interests.

If we ignore children’s internal clocks and innate curiosity with our perceived “teachings”, we are in fact sending a message to our children that their natural curiosity is irrelevant and that they should limit their attention and learning to what is directed of them only.

has opened up my eyes as to what is possible in the early years. Children in a Montessori environment practice making choices for themselves everyday, whether it is in their self-care routines or the type of work they engage with in the 3-6 classroom.

This developmental timeline provides a guide as to what children can do when they are given the space and time to explore for themselves.

When we recognise that when sometimes our “help” is unnecessary, we naturally create the space and time for our children’s abilities to unfold. In doing so, children come to gain confidence in themselves and develop a love of learning for life.

My wish is for more parents and children to understand the possibilities in children’s development. To respect our child as a unique individual and to foster a nurturing relationship with them in our daily interactions.

With the in session and Pi on , we have incorporated some to fit in with the Olympic theme. Pi has shown particular interest in the national flags, learning about the colours and shapes of each flag and making our own flags to cheer for !

We rarely have at home for various reasons (more on that in another post). I was therefore slightly apprehensive about Pi watching TV and she would start asking for more TV time.

We tried a couple of the ideas below and it has worked well so far. I was surprised when Pi announced "I have finished watching" and promptly switched off the TV herself.

Children rely on routines and boundaries as part of their sense of security. If screen/tv time has been a regular staple as part of your child's routine, you can also try the following to help your child generally.

1. Check the schedule and plan your TV time in advance. If the scheduled Olympic event is during a usual meal time / you anticipate it will extend into bedtime, consider adjusting mealtime or in some case, skip the event altogether (and watch the recording instead the next morning). The important thing is that your child's attention is NOT eating and watching at the same time. Your child's attention is likely to be diverted from the meal and it is often counter-productive to keep reminding your child to go back to their meal when their attention is already on the TV.

2. Agree on the event(s) to watch WITH your preschooler and TV goes off after the session is finished (otherwise you could go into a scenario of "I want to watch more!"). For us, it has been 15 minutes- 20 minutes maximum).

3. Have some activities planned before/after the event so that your child can extend their interest and channel their excitement. For us, this has been flag hunting, colouring and making their own flags. You can even screenshot the flags that would appear in the event and have your child make the flags to cheer for the various countries!

An extra note is that with live programmes, there are lots of adverts so we usually turn off the TV during that time to drink a cup of water or take a bathroom break. I find that adverts provide a lot of stimulation (as they try to cram a lot of information within the 30 seconds). Instead of taking a much needed break for their eyes and brain, the child feels more overwhelmed, which drains their energy and distracts them from the main programming we wished to enjoy in the first place.

In short, it is preferable to have small doses of supervised screentime (so your child can ask questions and interact with you) rather than to have a prolonged sedentary period of unsupervised screentime when they are left exposed and become at risk of overstimulation.

“Mama, I want to be with you.” I am literally sitting next to Pi as she says this for the “n-th” time. When Pi used to say this, it baffled me.

But when I started paying attention to WHEN she said this, I came to realise that what she actually means is, “Mama, I want with you.” Although I may be there physically with her, my mind has wandered off to my to-do checklists and/or replying to messages/ emails on my phone.

I used to think of “quality time” as something that needs to be carved out in advanced. A time where we do a planned activity that has to be “special”.

Since taking the Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE) training earlier in March, I have come to reframe my definition of “quality time”. interpreted “quality time” as a of time and attention and that we can think of quality time in two ways.

The *first type* is “want something time”. This is when we work with our child to accomplish a goal together. This may be changing a diaper, getting dressed or feeding. You may ask, how are these caregiving acts quality time?

Often, it is tempting to rush through these activities so that we can move onto the “next thing” on our schedules. But what if we come to see caregiving as opportunities for connection with our children? On average, a child goes through between 4500-5500 diaper changes from birth till the age of around 2. RIE reminds us that we can transform these interactions into quality time by being fully engaged with our children.

How? We can do so by focusing on the interaction with our child, this may mean putting our phones down, making eye contact with our child and allowing our child to take their time to respond. In doing this, we communicate to our children that they deserve our attention and respect, the first lesson in our child’s social learning and contribution in building their self-esteem.

The *second type* is “want nothing time”. This sounds simple but is actually much more difficult to achieve. It is literally time when you simply be with your child. You don’t set an agenda and there are no expectations of your child doing anything to hold your attention. Your role as adults is to be in the presence of your child and to observe them as they explore/carry on with their own chosen activity. This is certainly not easy but with practice, you will find that your child is nourished from this “want nothing time” and that they feel secure to explore by themselves afterwards. With time, you may find that your child’s ability for independent play increases as they are secure in their choice of activity and they no longer need an adult to “approve” as they take more initiative and become more confident.

To all the out there, I hope that you all have the chance to take a pause this as you redefine “quality time” in your daily lives. As we reframe our understanding of “quality time”, hope that we can all ease pressure off ourselves to always plan “special activities” as means to strive for “quality time”.

Remember that the best quality time comes naturally and we can start by being more in our interactions with our children in our day-to-day.

Do you toddler-proof your Christmas tree?

As Pi experiences her 4th Christmas, we finally decided it’s time to have a tree in our home this year. At 3 years old, we were confident that our girl has past the tree-pushing and ornament-pulling stage.

We started with her choosing the ornaments she liked and hang them on the tree. It was a smooth 10 minutes. I briefly stepped away and when I returned, I saw that Pi had pulled out the scissors and started to cut the tree. She announced that she was going to give the tree a “haircut”. As the fake pines started to fall away, I debated what to do.

Do I stop her and say “we don’t destroy plants.” But upon recollection, I know she has seen gardeners trim plants before when the leaves have turned yellow or they have overgrown. I decided to observe a few more minutes, I noticed she wasn’t randomly cutting the tree, she would walk around the tree and selectively choose parts of the tree to cut. She would say, “The leaves are too long here, it’s sticking out.” At this moment, I decided it was probably better to let her be. There was a rationale to her actions and she wasn’t blindly cutting the tree for the sake of cutting. After a couple of minutes, she was content with her “work” and I invited her to sweep up the pines and she went back to her own activity afterwards.

If I had snapped at her for “destroying” the tree, this may have upset her as she was only try to help (from her perspective). This incident reminds me that as parents, we make assumptions about our children’s behaviour that leads us to make (sometimes incorrect) conclusions. Before we decide to stop them or become stern with our children, do take a moment to observe them first before WE speak or act.

Young children have an enormous need for exploration and physical movement. They are prone to imitating and reenacting what they see in their everyday life. The next time we deem their behaviour as “destructive”, do take a moment and see if there is a logic and rationale behind their actions. What are their actions telling you? Are there actions guided by their developmental need?