Zori Tomova

24/01/2024

Opening to be surprised

I’ve come to understand this is one of the most profound practices one can embark on.

The seed of it was planted in me in early 2023, when I found myself visited by two hummingbirds while I was sitting with the mushroom medicine. The delight of watching them play pierced through the darkness I was navigating in that moment, shattering it to pieces to reveal the full spectrum of the colours of life behind.

I heard the words ‘Take lightness seriously’. I smiled. I needed to hear that.

About a week later after a series of strange events, I met a man online with whom I felt the same sweetness in my heart. It was the day of 2 Iq, the Mayan nawal of the hummingbird and the wind, of life’s ability to surprise us with its turns and movements… Little did I know that what seemed like a professional connection with someone in a faraway place would become such a deep space of spiritual belonging and friendship that 8 months later blossomed into a love that blew my mind, heart, body and spirit open.

It is a love that surprised and keeps surprising me every single day. A love that has me watching in absolute amazement the disintegration of all the ‘lessons learned’ in my past relationships, because the humbling truth is that they are absolutely irrelevant here!?! I know what really counts right now is meeting the freshness of every moment with this human, with myself, with life, finding ways of being and loving that we’ve never experienced before.

What I’ve come to understand is that as humans, we tend to create habits in the ways we relate to ourselves, one another and the world at large.

This is how I am. This is how you are. This is how life is.

These habits make things easier and simpler, they create a sense of comfort and familiarity. But if we are not too careful and don’t remember to take lightness seriously, they can also become our cage.

The antidote I am finding is a commitment to truth, which I understand as a commitment to meeting the mystery - in ourselves, in one another, in what surrounds us. A deep opening to see what is really here in the present moment and let it surprise us, let it challenge us, let it liberate us from the concepts we create for ourselves and one another. Sometimes those surprises are delightful, sometimes they are highly uncomfortable, but when we stay with them long enough, they open new terrains of profound richness, magic and beauty of life and love.

I’ve come to understand this practice takes a fierce commitment to presence and authenticity - not because it will get you something, someone or somewhere, but because you understand deep in your being that this is how you want to live and relate with life.

It is something I’ve been cultivating with authentic relating & circling for 6 years before arriving to the point where I can truly reap the fruits of it in my intimate life. Not because this is what I set out to do, but because life decided to surprise me that way and I was really THERE, open to be surprised.

If what I am sharing is touching you, I am happy to explore working together 1:1 or in the Art of Relating 12 week group program starting this Saturday. More info over here:
https://zoritomova.com/the-art-of-relating/

28/12/2023

This one has completed her 36th circle around the sun - big thanks to everyone for your beautiful wishes 🙏💕

I welcomed my birthday alone at home, with a flu, maybe covid, and a surprise early morning visit from the spirit of my father that brought a deep outpouring of love and grief from my heart. For Christmas I already felt well enough to make a cacao ceremony and make my offerings to the Lake and Life for the year that is completing.

So much to be grateful for this year!

❤️ Falling in love with an incredible man who meets me in ways I never imagined possible, as we weave together a shared mission and vision and the most loving, healthy, transformative and safe relationship I’ve ever experienced.

🏡 Finding the most beautiful home I’ve ever had, right on the shore of the lake, with an amazing view and private garden, in the company of Her Majesty Mushroom the cat!

🙏 All the opportinities to keep meeting beautiful people & serving the sacredness of life thru my work with cacao, fire, inner dance, circling and 1:1 healing & relationship guidance.

🤲 My collaborations with two of my favourite humans, Tammy Chow and Sam Sohmer, to co-create online group spaces to deepen into the art of relating & the art of mushroom medicine facilitation.

🔥 Being initiated as a Cacao Guardian by Mayan Wisdom Keeper Nana Miriam and continuing to deepen my connection with the Mayan cosmovision, Lake Atitlan and Fire, listening and connecting with nature and spirit deeper than ever.

🌀 Finally taking an official facilitators’ training with Circling Europe - an authentic relating practice I have held space for more than 5 years and the most stable and fertile ground for my relational growth ever since my life took a turn.

🙏 The amazing friends & practices that supported me thru my dark times when so many things were falling apart.

I am so happy to finally see what all the grief, darkness & healing was for… So excited for what is to come! Beaming with love and gratitude, as I open the gates for the Sun to lead us into a new beginning, as my name (Morning Star) suggests I should 🌟

Wishing you all a beautiful waking into 2024! See you on the other side 🤗

Love,
Zornitsa

03/12/2023

What does it mean to you to be whole and complete?

I recently found out I had a pretty skewed perception of that. Without fully realising, I was regarding wholeness as a destination I would reach after I’ve done my healing and am finally ready for a healthy relationship. My shame, fear of not being good enough and perfectionistic tendencies were eating my sense of wholeness for breakfast.

One day, sitting by the fire with my favourite human friend it hit me:

With him, I felt whole!

How come? Had I arrived?

Not really… I could definitely feel my fears and insecurities - in fact they were even more obvious here! The only difference was that there was a naturally emerging quality of safety between us that made it easier for me to stay aware and reveal them.

For the first time ever, I understood in a deeply embodied way I was already whole. The only thing that had been in my way was the courage to fully feel and share with others what felt dark, unloveable, umcomfortable… unwhole!

A wave of excitement and inspiration moved through my system. What if I could feel this way in any connection? Now that I knew what it was like, I could cultivate the inner safety to bring all of me to whoever was standing in front of me, if I so wished.

I actually have an amazing capacity for that, developped through years of holding space for authentic relating & circling. And yet, the humbling truth is I needed this special human and the unique flavour of our connection to let go of being the one that ‘leads with vulnerability’ and just be vulnerable instead.

Once again, I was reminded that relational wounds can only be healed in relationships. There’s only so far we can go on our own... It feels more important than ever in the crazy times we live in to nurture the connections and create the spaces that remind us of what wholesome healthy relating looks and feels like, and that being whole and being perfect are different things...

This is why with Somatic Spirit Coaching we are creating an online group to deeply connect with self and other, heal & re-pattern our relational dynamics and immerse ourselves in a co-created field of relational leadership.

Interested? Check the link in comments 💕

13/10/2023

“We are born with a need for attachment and a need for authenticity. Most people abandon their true selves to please others and keep relationships even if they are destructive.” Gabor Mate

I am definitely most people with this one! Many years ago in delivering a workshop for a big engineering company my ex-co-founder pulled me to the side:

‘Your emotions are all over your face. Try to be more neutral, it’s important for your role.”

It felt like a kick in the stomach. I can’t be myself here. Duh. I looked around the room full of men, on average 25 yrs older than me. I shrunk. Let's see if I can keep a neutral face.

It was just the tip of an iceberg of deep self-abandonment I was completely unaware of. Desperate to keep the love of my close ones as a child, I lost myself and tried to be perfect for them, graduating top 1% of my MSc in the UK and starting an innovation consultancy to follow the tracks of my father.

I felt so alone, not belonging, so confused about my life. I had no idea who I was outside of what I imagined others wanted. For years, I tried to find my way in the world of business. Until I couldn’t take it anymore and I left.

Shortly after, I got to sit in my first authentic relating circle in Bali. My emotions were all over my face again. But here, they were welcome, and a huge asset to the group! THE SAME QUALITIES that didn't belong in one place were a gift in another! I found the space to begin understanding my pattern and coming home to myself in the presence of others.

I’ve been committed to the practice since, hosting it for the last 5 years. My life is completely unrecognisable, as I keep coming closer to my core and offering the wholeness of my humanness in service to others.

Today, I am excited to share that with Tammy Chow we’re launching 'Authentic Attachment' - an online group dedicated to creating healthy relationships without abandoning ourselves. She's absolutely incredible in working with attachment styles, somatic therapy and healing thru relational trauma. I bring authentic relating, so we can give our patterns space to shift and integrate in a real time relational context.

First 3 people who register receive a 30% discount. Find out more & apply over here:

https://zoritomova.com/authentic-attachment/

09/10/2023

On the fear of being dead while appearing to be alive

I became aware of that one years ago on a walk in my home city of Sofia after watching Bohemian Rhapsody. I couldn’t stop crying. For hours?!? Feeling the contrast between what appeared to be life fully lived on the movie screen, and the tall buildings with people living in “boxes”. That living in a box felt symbolic, a choice of comfort and fitting in over fully living and expressing - I needed to see it outside to meet it within.

At that point, I was already following the thread of what made me feel alive, creating spaces to deepen connection with self, other and nature. You see the link - following what made me feel alive and the fear of being dead while living? I didn’t.

One day, some time after my father’s passing and the beginning of my dance with grief, the mushroom spirit had me face that fear. I saw I had developped it as a child, watching my father’s unprocessed grief of losing his parents and the havoc it wreaked on his life and capacities. I was scared of what was happening with him, while at the same time soaking up his grief and powerlessness without even realising it. I didn’t know what it was, because we didn’t speak about it. I just knew it FELT like death while living. And it scared the s**t out of me!

For many years, I struggled without knowing what was sucking up my life energy, why it felt so hard to initiate the things I wanted, why I kept isolating myself, and why it felt like a matter of life & death to move towards what makes me feel alive.

Today, I am learning to embrace both life and death within, rather than trying to get rid of one in favour of the other. And using what I find to grow together with others. Because today I know the gift of death within, as it is only by accepting it alongside life that we get to shift our patterns, grow and expand.

The best friend, mirror and teacher I have found in this so far is Nature. I am opening a space of bringing her back to life in our awareness, which really is a journey of bringing ourselves back to life, thru nature practice and online community. PM me or comment “interested” to learn more 🙏

31/05/2023

For those of you at Lake Atitlan, Guatemala - this Friday, 3pm in the beautiful space of San Marcos we restart our community Circling & Authentic Relating practice. It's an idea that's been in the air for a while now, and it seems the time has finally come to reopen this powerful space to explore and deepen connection with self & other 💞

For those who are not familiar with it - Circling is an advanced authentic relating practice, and here we hold it in a beginner-friendly way. You can imagine it like a meditation, where we slow down and bring awareness to what is present in our bodies, hearts, minds and spirit. What's different is that we also watch our interpersonal dynamics, sharing what we notice in how we impact and are impacted by one another. In this way, we cultivate:
✨ genuine & meaningful connection
✨ healing of relational patterns
✨ self-acceptance, vulnerability & courage to express our truth
✨ skills for deep presence & intimacy
✨ listening & trust in the body
✨ free flow of life force energy
✨ community & a sense of belonging

Excited and looking forward to circling with you this Friday!

Love,
Zori

08/05/2023

Grateful to receive these beautiful words today 🙏❤️

04/03/2023

Had so much fun exploring all things human- and spaceholding with Lisa! Such an inspiration. Excited to share it with you

Welcome to the 1st episode of Widening Circles series of interviews with members of our spaceholders' community. With it, we aim to bring inspiration and sup...