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R**e Culture – Cover Your Eyes

R**e culture is when I was six, and my brother punched my two front teeth out. Instead of reprimanding him, my mother said “Stefanie, what did you do to provoke him?” When my only defense was my mother whispering in my ear, “Honey, ignore him. Don’t rile him up. He just wants a reaction.” As if it was my sole purpose, the reason six-year-old me existed, was to not rile up my brother. It’s starts when we’re six, and ends when we grow up assuming the natural state of a man is a predator, and I must walk on eggshells, as to not “rile him up.” Right, mom?

R**e culture is when through casual dinner conversation, my father says that women who get r***d are asking for it. He says, “I see them on the streets of New York City, with their short skirts and heavy makeup. Asking for it.” When I used to be my father’s hero but will he think I was asking for it? (will he think) Will he think I deserved it? Will he hold me accountable or will he hold me, even though the touch of a man – especially my father’s – burns as if I were holding the sun in the palm of my hand.

R**e culture is you were so ashamed, you thought it would be easier for your parents to find you dead, than to say, “Hey mom and dad,” It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t ask for it. I never asked for this attention, I never asked to be a target, to be weak because I was born with two X chromosomes, to walk in fear, to always look behind me, in front of me, next to me, I never asked to be the prey. I never wanted to spend my life being something someone feasts upon, a meal for the eternally starved. I do not want to hear about the way I taste anymore. I will not let you eat me alive.

R**e culture is I shouldn’t defend my friend when an overaggressive frat boy has his hand on her ass, because standing up for her body “makes me a target.” Women are afraid to speak up, because they fear their own lives – but I’d rather take the hit than live in a culture of silence. I am told that I will always be the victim, pre-determined by the DNA in my weaker, softer body. I have birthing hips, not a fighter’s stance. I am genetically pre-dispositioned to lose every time.

R**e culture is he was probably abused as a child. When he even has some form of a justification and all I have are the things that provoked him, and the scars from his touch are woven of the darkest and toughest strings, underneath the layer of my skin. R**e culture leaves me finding pieces of him left inside of me. A bone of his elbow. The cap of his knee. There is something so daunting in the way that I know it will take me years to methodically extract him from my body. And that twinge I will get sometimes in my arm fifteen years later? Proof of the past. Like a tattoo I didn’t ask for. Somehow I am permanently inked.

R**e culture is you can’t wear that outfit anymore without feeling dirty, without feeling like you somehow earned it. You will feel like you are walking on knives, every time you wear the shoes you smashed his nose in with. Imaginary blood on the bottom of your heels, thinking, maybe this will heal me. Those shoes are your freedom, But the remains of a life long fight. You will always carry your heart, your passion, your absolute will to live, but also the shame and the guilt and the pain. I saved myself but I still feel like I’m walking on knives.

R**e culture is “Stefanie, you weren’t really r***d, you were one of the lucky ones.” Because my body wasn’t penetrated by a p***s, but fingers instead, that I should feel lucky. I should get on my hands and knees and say, thank you. Thank you for being so kind. R**e culture is “things could have been worse.” “It’s been a month, Stefanie. Get out of bed.” “You’ll have to get over this eventually.” “Don’t let it ruin your life.” R**e culture is he told you that after he touched you, no one would ever want you again. And you believed him.

R**e culture is telling your daughters not to get r***d, instead of teaching your sons how to treat all women. That s*x is not a right. You are not entitled to this. The worst possible thing you can call a woman is a slut, a w***e, a bitch. The worst possible thing you can call a man is a bitch, a p***y, a girl. The worst thing you can call a girl is a girl. The worst thing you can call a guy is a girl. Being a woman is the ultimate rejection, the ultimate dismissal of strength and power, the absolute insult. When I have a daughter, I will tell her that she is not an insult.

When I have a daughter, she will know how to fight. I will look at her like the sun when she comes home with anger in her fists. Because we are human beings and we do not always have to take what we are given. They all tell her not to fight fire with fire, but that is only because they are afraid of her flames. I will teach her the value of the word “no” so that when she hears it, she will not question it.

My daughter, Don’t you dare apologize for the fierce love you have for yourself and the lengths you go to preserve it.

My daughter, I am alive because of the fierce love I have for myself, and because my father taught me to protect that. He taught me that sometimes, I have to do my own bit of saving, pick myself off the ground and wipe the dirt off my face, because at the end of the day, there is only me. I am alive because my mother taught me to love myself. She taught me that I am an enigma – a mystery, a paradox, an unfinished masterpiece and I must love myself enough to see how I turn out. I am alive because even beaten, voiceless, and back against the wall, I knew there was an ounce of me worth fighting for. And for that, I thank my parents.

Instead of teaching my daughter to cover herself up, I will show her how to be exposed. Because no is not “convince me”. No is not “I want it”. You call me, “Little lady, pretty girl, beautiful woman.” But I am not any of these things for you.

I am exploding light, my daughter will be exploding light, and you, better cover your eyes”.

It is a girl's right to be Educated..

Lets make the future now, and lets make our dreams tomorrow's reality by sending our girls to school
Whit One book, one pen, one Girl-child, and one teacher per nation we can change the world.

Educating a Girl-child pa country is equivalent to educating the worl
There are so many problems in the world , but there is a very simple solution to all these problems...it's just one, and it's education..

Lets all come together and fight against the violence against women and the violation of womens' rights..
These rights are not of women but the women are born with them

Lets all learn to respect the fact..
The future must not belong to those who bully women...
It most be shaped by girls who go to scool and those who stand for a world where our daughters can live their dreams like our sons Education is the single most important job of the human race
HAPPY EASTER TO YOU BEAUTIFUL FOLLOWERS OF THE UNGEI NETWORK GAMBIA

With hard work and commitment you will surely make
Because the strugle continues victory is always certain

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WE HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN ABOUT THEM
BRING THEM BACK

VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN MOST END NOW...

Pakistani salon owner Masarrat Misbah discovered a new life mission ten years ago when an acid attack survivor came to her salon and asked her for help to look better. "When she removed her veil, I had to sit down. There was no life in my legs," Masarrat recalls in a recent BBC interview. "In front of me was a woman with no face. Her eyes and nose were gone and her neck and face were stuck together so she couldn't move them." Determined to help her, Masarrat found doctors to perform reconstructive surgery on the woman but her involvement didn't stop there -- she went on to start a non-profit organization called Smile Again which has helped hundreds of acid attack survivors rebuild their lives over the past ten years.

Masarrat has built one of the most respected salon chains in Pakistan and, since 2003, has not only funded the work of Smile Again but has turned her salons into refuges for women who have experienced such attacks. In addition to paying for their medical treatment, Massarat also teaches the women workplace skills and some have become beauticians at her salons. Two such women, pictured here, are Arooj Akbar, who was set on fire by her husband for giving birth to a girl rather than a boy, and Saira Liaqat, who had acid thrown on her by her then fiancé for refusing to leave her parents' house.

At least 160 acid attacks have been reported this year alone in Pakistan but advocates believe the real number is much higher. Masarrat believes that the government needs to do more to prevent attacks and help the women affected, stating "Because it is a female-orientated issue, it comes right at the bottom of their [the government's] priority list. Also, they say it tarnishes the image of our country. This is why it is hushed up and swept under the carpet."

She adds, "You listen to their stories and the attackers are motivated by such small reasons, sometimes no reason at all, and you think, 'Is this the world we want to live in?'" For her part, Masarrat is trying to build the kind of world she wants to see by helping one woman at a time rebuild their life.

An estimated 1,500 people, 80 percent of whom are women, are attacked with acid annually around the world. Those attacked are also overwhelmingly young women with an estimated 40 to 70% of the victims being under 18.

To learn more about Masarrat's organization, visit the Depilex Smileagain Foundation (Official Fan Page) and how you can support its important work, visit http://www.depilexsmileagain.com/, or read more on the BBC at http://bbc.in/1tO9780

This photo is from Adrian Fisk Photography's series "Pakistan's Burnt Beauticians" -- to view more of his photos, visit http://bit.ly/1wSKgiW

To learn more about acid attacks, check out the excellent 2012 Oscar-winning Best Documentary Short entitled "Saving Face" which tells the stories of Pakistani women who have become victims of such attacks. The film is digitally available on Amazon at http://amzn.to/1lPOIe6 or you can learn more about it at http://savingfacefilm.com/

For stories of girls and women experiencing and overcoming abuse and violence in their lives, visit our “Life Challenges” section at http://www.amightygirl.com/books/social-issues/abuse-violence

For more true stories of more inspiring girls and women who worked to change the world, visit our “Activist” section in Biographies at http://www.amightygirl.com/books/history-biography/biography?cat=207

To introduce children and teens to a young Pakistani activist who is working to make the world better for girls and women, we highly recommend Malala Yousafzai's autobiography "I Am Malala" for ages 14 and up (http://www.amightygirl.com/i-am-malala) and the "I Am Malala" Young Readers Edition for ages 10 and up (http://www.amightygirl.com/i-am-malala-youth-edition).

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Photo: Discovery Communications/2014

UNGEI Network - The Gambia UNGEI (United Nations Girls' Education Initiative) is the UN flagship program for girls' education.