Stand & Deliver Birth & Beyond & Musical Mama

What we ask after school can matter more than we realise.

Earlier today I looked at Negative Brain Bias and Predictive Processing — how the brain can become primed to notice threat, and how past experiences can shape what it expects to happen next.

This is where that understanding becomes practical.

When a child is already anxious about school, repeatedly leading with questions about what went wrong can unintentionally keep their brain searching for evidence that school is difficult or unsafe.

That does not mean ignoring the hard things.

It means widening the conversation so their brain also gets opportunities to notice what felt safe, manageable, funny, easier or simply okay.

Our questions can help shape what the brain looks for next.

See the earlier posts from today on Negative Brain Bias and Predictive Processing for the science behind this one.

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The more we study breast milk, the more we realize how much we still don’t know.

That’s the wild part.

Breast milk isn’t a static recipe. Its composition changes across a feeding, throughout the day, as a baby grows, and in response to different biological needs. It contains nutrients, enzymes, hormones, immune factors, antibodies, living cells and compounds researchers are still studying.

And every time science looks closer, it gets more complicated, not less.

So when someone reduces breastfeeding to “just feeding a baby,” I have to laugh a little.

We are literally still discovering what human milk does.

That’s not hype.
That’s not mom guilt.
That’s biology.

And apparently, biology still has a few secrets left.

Here’s the thing: the cervix is a dynamic, sensitive organ of the body. It responds not only to physical touch, but also to the thoughts, feelings, and emotions we’re experiencing. And when it comes to dilation of the cervix - (which, physiologically, actually the knitting of the fundus matters much more than a dilation number) - the opening and closing of the cervix has much to do with how safe, undisturbed, and protected a woman feels. This is why women often labor beautifully at home, only to arrive at the hospital and be told they’re “only a 3 or a 4.” In reality, it’s very likely that their dilation dropped because they left their safe environment and walked into an unsafe one-where strangers will violate them, insert their hands into their va**na (the most sacred part of their body), and prod around inside their cervix. The cervix can open quickly. The cervix can close quickly. To think that “progress” in labor only moves in one direction is absolutely false. Women can move forward in labor, only to regress the moment they enter an environment that doesn’t feel safe. And the more a cervix is poked and prodded-via cervical exams, membrane sweeps, artificial rupturing of membranes, etc.—the more likely it is to become angry, inflamed, and closed. So yes... that video of a sea anemone opening and closing? It’s actually incredibly accurate. Because the cervix behaves very much the same way when a woman no longer feels safe, or when fear enters the space. * * 🐚Ready to learn all the things about physiological birth? Comment “prep” and get started with The Sovereign Birth Prep Course #physiologicalbirth #cervixdilation

Human milk is not simply “another feeding option.” It is a living, dynamic, biologically active substance created specifically for human babies. 🤍

It contains living cells, antibodies, enzymes, hormones, stem cells, immune factors, and nutrients that constantly adapt to a baby’s needs. A mother’s milk changes throughout the day, changes during illness, changes as her baby grows, and even changes during a single feeding.

Formula is manufactured to feed babies when breastfeeding is not possible or supplementation is needed. But manufactured and biological are *not* interchangeable words.

That is not shame.
That is not judgment.
That is scientific reality.

Somehow society became more comfortable normalizing the replacement of human milk than addressing why so many mothers are left unsupported in the first place.

We normalize:
• mothers returning to work days after birth
• lack of paid maternity leave
• poor postpartum support
• dismissing breastfeeding pain instead of treating it
• separating mothers and babies
• lack of skilled lactation care
• sexualizing breastfeeding
• shaming women for nursing in public
• telling exhausted mothers to “just give formula” before offering actual help

Then people act shocked when breastfeeding rates fall.

Breastfeeding mothers do not need less advocacy.
They need more support.

Because for many women, breastfeeding did not fail.
The system failed them.

And yes, formula has a place. Some babies truly need it. Some mothers truly need it. Feeding a baby safely matters most. But pretending formula and human milk are identical does not help families make informed decisions either.

Babies deserve evidence based information.
Mothers deserve honest conversations.
And breastfeeding deserves protection, education, and support instead of defensiveness every time its value is acknowledged.

Human milk is alive.
Formula is manufactured.
Those are not the same thing. 🤍

Absolutely.

A baby cannot look at you and explain, “Mama, I’m scared, I’m lonely, I’m uncomfortable, I’m overwhelmed, and I need you,” so they do the only thing they know how to do: they cry.

Crying is communication, and before babies have words, it is one of the primary ways they can tell us that something doesn’t feel right.

They may be hungry, tired, uncomfortable, frightened, overstimulated, or simply needing the safety and closeness of the person they know best. They are not manipulating us or trying to control us, they are babies with developing brains and nervous systems who depend on us.

This is why we should not deliberately ignore a baby’s cries in an attempt to teach them not to cry. If crying is communication, intentionally refusing to respond means choosing not to answer the communication they have available.

A baby becoming quiet because you left them to cry-it-out does not mean they have become calm or learned to self-regulate, and research has even found situations in which babies stopped signaling while physiological measures of stress remained elevated. Silence does not necessarily mean the stress or need is gone!

Babies develop their ability to regulate through repeated experiences of being regulated with us. When we hold them, rock them, speak to them, comfort them, and respond to their cries, we help their developing nervous systems move from distress toward safety. Those experiences help build the foundation for emotional regulation, trust, secure attachment, and eventually greater independence.

Also, responsive parenting does not mean perfection. Sometimes you’re driving, caring for another child, using the bathroom, or simply need a moment to collect yourself. There will be times when you genuinely cannot respond immediately, and that is very different from intentionally withholding comfort when you are able to give it.

There will be plenty of time for independence. For now, when your baby cries and you can respond, respond. You are showing them again and again that they are heard, they matter, they are safe, and someone will be there when they need help. ❤️

Good morning lovely people 🌞

Are we going to get rain this week?! I really really hope so.

We’re back again with another themed week and this week we are doing disney’s ENCANTO 🦋🏠✨If you haven’t heard the music from ENCANTO you are really missing out so come along and experience it.

Normal routine will be starting 2nd of September!

We can’t wait to see you there at this Wednesday! We have still quite a few spaces available for 11:30 but we’re starting to run out at 10:30. Any questions? Pop me a DM!