Life, wellbeing and emotion coaching for kids. Creating happy, confident and resilient kids. Life, wellbeing and emotion coaching for kids and teens - incorporating mindfulness.
Stop the cycle of trauma being passed down to your children - give them the space and opportunities to work things out and give yourself time and support to heal and identify your own wounds so you don’t pass them on. Children need space to be children without holding responsibility for the emotional wellbeing of the adults and caregivers in their lives.
Simple but so helpful - don’t shy away from talking to your teen. Really useful information and so spot on!! 🙏😊
How To Make Sure Your Teen Is Defining Their Worth Using The Right Measure I noticed my daughter was acting odd the other day after school, but I didn't think much of it as I watched her climb the stairs with her head hanging low. She is a teenager,
Karen Young - Hey Sigmund
Words can be hard sometimes. The right words can be orbital and unconquerable and hard to grab hold of. Feelings though - they’ll always make themselves known, with or without the ‘why’.
Kids and teens are no different to the rest of us. Their feelings can feel bigger than words - unfathomable and messy and too much to be lassoed into language. If we tap into our own experience, we can sometimes (not all the time) get an idea of what they might need.
It’s completely understandable that new things or hard things (such as going back to school) might drive thoughts of falls and fails and missteps. When this happens, it’s not so much the hard thing or the new thing that drives avoidance, but thoughts of failing or not being good enough. The more meaningful the ‘thing’ is, the more this is likely to happen. If you can look behind the words, and through to the intention - to avoid failure more than the new or difficult experience, it can be easier to give them what they need.
Often, ‘I can’t’ means, ‘What if I can’t?’ or, ‘Do you think I can?’, or, ‘Will you still think I’m brave, strong, and capable of I fail?’ They need to know that the outcome won’t make any difference at all to how much you adore them, and how capable and exceptional you think they are. By focusing on process, (the courage to give it a go), we clear the runway so they can feel safer to crawl, then walk, then run, then fly.
It takes time to reach full flight in anything, but in the meantime the stumbling can make even the strongest of hearts feel vulnerable. The more we focus on process over outcome (their courage to try over the result), and who they are over what they do (their courage, tenacity, curiosity over the outcome), the safer they will feel to try new things or hard things. We know they can do hard things, and the beauty and expansion comes first in the willingness to try.
Karen Young - Hey Sigmund
I was asked a little while ago about what I would do for adolescent mental health if I had a magic wand. My answer was to make sure all our teens could all get 9-10 hours of sleep every night. Sleep is a superpower. Researchers suggest monitoring screen time, delaying school start times, keeping academic and outside pressure in check, and making sure their routines don’t steal their sleep time. As the mum of two adolescents, I know how tough this can be to put into practice. If you’re looking for buy-in ask them to try two things for two weeks and see how they feel after that - maybe any combo of a few minutes of strong, steady breathing (try the Calm app) or just paying attention to breathing; mindfulness (try the Smiling Mind app); progressive muscle relaxation. Hopefully after two weeks they’ll see the difference that enough sleep can make to their mood, mindset, focus, and creativity to name a few 😴➡️😊🙌.
childmind.org Girls with autism often go undiagnosed because they don’t fit autism stereotypes and may mask symptoms better than boys do. Many more boys than girls are diagnosed on the autism spectrum: more than four boys for every autistic girl.
Karen Young - Hey Sigmund
Clinginess has an important job to do, and it does it beautifully, but not always at a time when it’s needed. This is when it can be distressing for everyone - not just for kiddos but also for the adults who care about them.
There is nothing that feels okay about leaving them when they are upset, but clinginess as isn’t a sign that they can’t cope. It’s a sign that, in the moment, getting over the line feels tough. Clinginess is a powerful response that is designed to move kids closer to their important people when they are feeling the threat of something new, stressful, challenging, or when being without you just makes things feel too big for a while. It’s designed to keep them safe. The problem is that it can happen when there is no threat.
Our response will depend on the situation. If their anxiety is triggered because of the move towards something important or meaningful, give them a cuddle then a quick goodbye. They’ll settle quickly (probably quicker than you!) but they need you to be their brave. Make sure whenever you can that there is another adult there whose care they can rest in - someone who can help them feel safe enough so they can be brave enough.
If their anxiety is because their world feels shaken, hold them, cuddle them, and sit with them as much as they need you to and as much as you can. When their world feels fragile, you can’t love them big enough. Give them as much as they need. Physical closeness, warmth, and touch release oxytocin. Oxytocin is the ‘bonding chemical’ and it’s released when we feel close to our important people. Here’s the magical part – the amygdala has receptors for oxytocin. When the amygdala receives a juicy dose of oxytocin, it will calm. .
The main thing to remember is that clinginess is a sign that they are feeling vulnerable, not that they aren’t capable of doing the important, meaningful things they need to do sometimes. They will BE ready before they FEEL ready. The hard part for us as parents is figuring out when to keep them close, and when to encourage them forward. The question to ask then is, ‘Do I need to help them find their brave, or do I need to help them find a soft place to shelter for a while?’💕
Karen Young - Hey Sigmund
Would you be more likely to take advice from someone who listened to you first, or someone who insisted they knew best and worked hard to convince you? Our teens are just like us. If we want them to consider our advice and be open to our influence, making sure they feel heard is so important. Being right doesn't count for much at all if we aren't being heard.
Hear what they think, what they want, why they think they're right, and why it’s important to them. Sometimes we'll want to change our mind, and sometimes we'll want to stand firm. When they feel fully heard, it’s more likely that they’ll be able to trust that our decisions or advice are given fully informed and with all of their needs considered. And we all need that.
Karen Young - Hey Sigmund
Sometimes silence means 'I don't have anything to say.' Sometimes it means, 'I have plenty to say but I don't want to share it right here and right now.' We all need certain things to feel safe enough to put ourselves into the world. Kids with anxiety are thoughtful, observant and insightful, and their wisdom will always have the potential to add something important to the world for all of us.
Teens need connection more than they need control 🙏
During adolescence, our teens need our love, support and influence more than ever. What they don’t need is our control. By adolescence, we don’t have any anyway. We might have the illusion of control, but the harder we push to control them, the more we risk losing them. Our teens are resourceful, creative and brave and if they want something enough they will do it anyway.
When we attempt to control them, we are pushing against thousands of years of evolution and their drive to explore their independence. They can’t make the transition from childhood to adulthood without establishing some sort of separation from us.
They might push against us, and sometimes this will feel fierce. This is not to push us away, but to loosen themselves from under our wing. Sometimes the closer they are, the harder they have to push. And sometimes, in the quest for separation and independence, it’s our connection with them that gets lost. They have important work to do, so it’s up to us as their parents to hold on to that connection tightly enough for them and for us, for whenever they need it. They will come back, but first they have work to do and it’s okay if this takes time and tears and ‘outside voices’ inside. It’s a learning adventure for all of us. .
Whenever we can, we need to nurture the fire in them that is looking to discover who they are. We can do this by asking their opinions, listening more than talking, valuing their insight, and letting them to teach us what it’s like to be in their world.
The more we try to control them, the more we squander our precious opportunities to influence them. They are less likely to come to us if they expect lectures, preaching, shame, judgement or harsh consequences. When the connection with them is there, hopefully, sometimes, they will let us take the precious and privileged place beside them as they explore, learn and grow. So often, our greatest parenting moments and connection with them will happen in the middle of the mess, but first we need for them to offer us a seat at the table.
Loretta Breuning PhD
The simple facts about , , , in 1 page. It's not just happy talk because our brain is not designed to make you feel good all the time. It evolved to promote survival so you have to trick it (or accept it) to feel good.http://bit.ly/2u1ZtpB
Kids Mind Skills is currently offering online coaching for children and teens. It’s normal for children and young people to feel worried or anxious at the moment. We’ve all experienced sudden changes in our lives and routines – and we’re living with lots of uncertainty about the coming weeks and months. For some young people, the coronavirus pandemic may also worsen or trigger anxieties they were already struggling with. They have had to adjust to not seeing their friends, managing home schooling and a wealth of emotions that may feel unfamiliar, confusing and scary at times. Kids Mind Skills offers coaching and tools to help children explore how they're feeling, understand how their minds work and learn ways to support themselves and manage their well-being in a positive way. To find out more please visit the website www.kidsmindskills.co.uk or email [email protected] to enquire about online sessions. Please feel free to share and together we can support our children get through this time with confidence, strength and resilience. With many thanks 🙏
kidsmindskills.co.uk Life Coaching is about supporting our kids in living their best life. A life coach helps kids develop the skills, confidence and an ability to thrive in life. Many kids struggle with studies at school, teachers and parents expectations, friendships and social skills and relationships with their peer...
“push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. lie in your garden, feel the sunshine on your skin.
get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and sq**rt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.
buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.
strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. wash, then hang them in the sunshine with care. make your bed in full.
dig your fingers into the earth, plant a seed. see your success as it grows everyday.
organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
breathe. practice your deep breathing. ground yourself.
have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
think long and hard about what interests you. crime? s*x? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.
become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. help an animal. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes.
take small steps to make it happen for you...”
Author: Emma Elsworthy
youtube.com Did you know that kindness can be beneficial for our mental health? Find out more about Mental Health Awareness Week here: mentalhealth.org.uk/mhaw
I love this and have watched it many times, each time being left with a feeling of peace and gratitude. Having just shared in a session with a client, I felt strongly that its message was really powerful and comforting right now and so just wanted to share with you all today. It is so important to just take a moment to choose which thoughts we allow to dominate and by cultivating a sense of gratitude we can shape our experience of these strange and challenging times and transform our reality into one from which we can grow and not allow fear to take away from the beauty of each day we have. I hope you can take a few minutes to watch .....sent with love and gratitude to you all ###
A Moving Art original short. This inspirational video was well responded at TED conferences and filmmaker Louie Schwartzberg motivates those around him as ha...
youtube.com A Moving Art original short. This inspirational video was well responded at TED conferences and filmmaker Louie Schwartzberg motivates those around him as ha...
A good reminder that there is always something more going on beneath anger.... these are very challenging times for us all but especially confusing for our children, whose lives have been turned upside down overnight.
What they understood as their ‘normal’ has gone .... without planning or preparation and with no one telling them how to feel about it. Their daily lives have gone from being around their friends and having a structure, to lockdown where they are at home all the time with only their immediate family as playmates. This isn’t holiday time and there are no days out. We, as adults, are struggling and would prefer things to go back to how they were before and it is no different for them.
We are expecting them to adjust and get on with it, with little or no explanation and lots of time for anxious thoughts to take hold. They are scared about the future, unsure what to feel and many are being expected to carry on with schooling (home) in an unfamiliar way, with equally confused and stressed out parents/ carers. They may be ‘acting out’ and it is up to us to give them the security and love they need to manage these difficult times and accompanying emotions.
We must take care of ourselves so we can take care of them and recognise that kindness, gentleness, understanding and lowering of expectations help us all cope better.
They need us to not expect them to ‘cope’ or ‘be ok’ but to understand that what they are feeling is scary and sometimes may be disguised as anger / difficult behaviour. Be kind and patient with them and yourselves. Stay safe, be grateful for this time with them and make time for them to talk about how they feel. ..... you may all learn something new and open up healthy ways to communicate together in difficult times. #understandingdifficultemotions#learningaboutfeelings#transformanxiety❤️🙏❤️
Eleni Kouloumou is a Women's Relationship Coach working with clients locally in Surrey, UK, and over Zoom/ internationally. She helps women attract a High Value Man and have a healthy relationship.
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