07/10/2026
💛 Behind every behaviour is a feeling… and behind every feeling is a need.
Children, especially younger children, are still learning how to understand and manage their emotions. Sometimes they simply don’t have the words yet, so their feelings come out through their behaviour.
😡 Anger might be saying: “This is too much for me.”
😢 Tears might be saying: “I’m overwhelmed and I need some comfort.”
😤 Frustration might be saying: “I’m finding this really difficult.”
🙅♀️ Refusing might be saying: “I need some control or I need more time.”
It’s okay for children to have big emotions. ❤️
As adults, we have years of experience learning how to manage frustration, disappointment and anger — and even we don't always get it right! So why do we expect children to behave perfectly when they're still learning?
One really helpful thing we can do is reflect their feelings back to them:
💬 “I can see you're really angry right now.”
💬 “That was really frustrating, wasn't it?”
💬 “You really didn't want that to happen.”
💬 “I think you're feeling upset because we had to stop playing.”
This doesn't mean we have to agree with every behaviour or allow unsafe behaviour. We can still have boundaries while helping children understand what's happening inside them.
Connection before correction. 💛
When we help children put words to their feelings, we're giving them the tools they need to gradually learn how to manage those feelings themselves.
And remember… children don't come with a handbook! 📖
We're all learning, parents included. Some days we get it right, some days we don't — and that's okay too. 🥰
