AM Play Therapy North Somerset

16/09/2026

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Early puberty is about far more than the physical changes we can see.

Between around 10–12 years, children can be navigating huge shifts in their bodies, brains, emotions and social worlds — often all at the same time.

They may want more independence but still need reassurance. Feelings can become bigger and quicker to appear. Friendships, fairness, privacy and belonging can suddenly feel incredibly important. And while their bodies are changing, the brain skills needed to manage all of this are still developing.

So when behaviour changes too, it is worth looking at what is happening behind the behaviour.

Understanding this stage helps us respond with support rather than simply seeing a child as suddenly moody, difficult or challenging.

And remember — development does not follow one fixed timetable. There is a wide range of normal.

Save this post to come back to as your child moves through the next stage of development.

16/09/2026

Sometimes the problem isn’t the behaviour. It’s what we’re expecting from the child in that moment.

We can find ourselves thinking, “They should be able to do this by now” or “Other kids their age can manage it.”

But age doesn’t tell us everything about capacity.
Before we focus on changing the behaviour, it can help to ask:

Is this expectation realistic for this child, in this moment?

Do they have the skills yet?
Are they tired, hungry, anxious or overwhelmed?
Does the environment make this harder?
Are we expecting independence before they’ve had enough support and practice?

Sometimes the child doesn’t need a bigger consequence or another reminder.

Sometimes we need to lower the step, add some support, and build the skill from there.

That isn’t lowering our hopes for our children. It’s giving them a realistic pathway towards them.

I talk more about understanding behaviour, building skills and supporting children through the hard moments in Guidance from The Therapist Parent.

11/09/2026

Sometimes children push us away at the exact moment they need us most.

When a child is overwhelmed, even connection can feel like too much. Questions, reassurance, touch or attempts to fix the problem can become one more thing their nervous system has to manage.

So when they say “Go away!”, we don’t always have to choose between leaving them completely or moving closer.

Sometimes we can stay nearby.

No questions. No demands. No pressure to talk or calm down.

Just the quiet message:

“I’ll give you space, but you don’t have to be alone in this.”

This is the kind of parenting I talk about throughout Guidance from The Therapist Parent — understanding what is happening underneath behaviour and knowing what to actually do in the moment, especially when your child is overwhelmed.

Because knowing that your child needs connection is one thing. Knowing how to offer it when they’re pushing you away is another.
If you want more practical strategies for responding to big emotions, behaviour and dysregulation, you can find Guidance from The Therapist Parent through the link in my bio.

Save this for the next time “go away” really means “I can’t cope with anything else right now.”

03/09/2026

Such a great reminder ❤️

Sometimes the thing that tips a child over can seem so small.

Shoes on.
Turn the screen off.
Time to leave.
A sibling says the wrong thing.

And we can find ourselves thinking, “Why has THAT caused such a big reaction?”

But that moment may only be the final drop.
They may have already been carrying sensory overload, tiredness, anxiety, demands, frustration, hunger or a need for connection. By the time we see the behaviour, their capacity may already be stretched to its limit.

Instead of focusing only on the final trigger, get curious about what has been filling their cup.
Because when we understand what led to the behaviour, we have a much better chance of knowing what they need from us.

And sometimes, the most helpful response isn't another consequence or another demand. It's helping to reduce the load.

ParentingSupport SensoryOverload

31/08/2026

What Play Therapy is and isn't about

30/08/2026

Your play piece for today is…

Know the difference!

What I see across multiple pages who ‘claim’ they embrace play as an approach to learning, are simply just setting up ‘adult led learning’.

There is an absolute place for this type of set up for sure but please don’t call it play!

Play is freely chosen, intrinsically motivated and highly engaging. It’s free from learning intentions and success criteria. It’s free from comments like ‘do it this way’ or ‘you can’t do that’.

If you’re new to play, learn the difference.

When you see an ‘activity’ set up, a beautifully designed tuff tray is a perfect example, remind yourself that it is adult directed and can never be classed as ‘play’

It’s a real bug bear of mine 🤣🙄

22/08/2026

When a child says “I don’t care,” it can be tempting to hear attitude.

But sometimes it means: “I care so much I’m scared to get it wrong.”
Or, “I don’t know how to start.”
Or, “I’m embarrassed.”
Or, “Please help, but don’t make a big thing of it.”

“I don’t care” can be a shield when feelings are too big or words are hard to find.

Instead of pushing harder, it can help to pause and say: “It sounds like something about this feels difficult. You don’t have to explain it all right now. I’m here.”

Children who shut down, avoid work, get defensive or refuse to try are not always being lazy or rude. Sometimes they are overwhelmed, anxious, or trying to protect themselves from failing.

A little curiosity can change the whole conversation.

FREE WHEN A CHILD SAYS ‘I DON’T CARE’ FEELINGS POSTER

LIKE the photo and comment "CARE" and we will send you a message with a link to a free PDF of this resource.

22/08/2026

20/08/2026

Richard Cohen’s “Zen and the Art of Early Childhood" 💕

20/08/2026

Sometimes a child smiles when you’re speaking to them seriously.

It doesn’t always mean they think it’s funny.

That smile might be embarrassment.
It might be anxiety.
It might be uncertainty about what’s expected.
It might be an attempt to relieve tension.
Or it might simply be what happens when their brain is overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to respond.

A smile can be a nervous-system response, not a sign that a child isn’t taking you seriously.

So before assuming “They’re laughing at me”, consider what else might be happening underneath the smile.

The behaviour you see isn’t always a reliable window into what a child is feeling.