Kyriakos Fiakkas

Striving to live in the Here and Now
There appears to be contradiction between being in a state of striving and living in the here and now.
Many clients often ask me how to achieve a balance between being goal orientated, in a state of striving to achieve and living in the present moment, in the here and now with acceptance. I felt now would be a good time to write something about this as many will be back in their regular routine after the summer break. And actually September is for many a more natural and opportune time to review where they are at, clarify their aspirations and set goals for the future, whether this be for work or in their personal life.
It is important to have aspirations, a vision of how we want to be and a sense of direction. It is this that gives us motivation to move forward in our lives. However, if we are so caught up in striving for future goals we are never really going to be able to appreciate the present moment. In such a state our minds are constantly living in the future, and if in this state for a prolonged period of time, it is likely to lead to frustration, obsessive behaviours and eventual burnout. Actually, being in a more mindful state can better assist us in realising our dreams and achieving our goals.
Mindfulness is about attention to the here and now. Goal setting is about intention; clarifying what you really want and the actions you intend to carry out to achieve it. So it is important to ask yourself what would be of highest benefit to you and then clarify the steps you need to take to realise it. Being clear about what you intent to achieve for each step enables you to carry them out with attention and greater present awareness. This will lead to achieving each step with greater efficiency and effectiveness and in turn with a greater sense on joy and fulfilment. It is the intention that links where you are now to where you want to be.
The secret to striving for something while living in the present is to be living with attention on the present with intention.
This applies not only to striving for external goals but also when we are aspiring for something in our personal inner life, whether this be confidence, patience, happiness, courage or any other inner quality. Our attention with intention upon how we are currently living our life enables us to become more aware of our helpful and less helpful behaviours allowing us to be more in control and choose our emotions, reactions and trains of thinking in the future.
Living in the present is about “being”, striving for goals is about “doing”. Living in the present with intention is more like a state of flow, which can be best described as a state of “becoming”.

A Goal is not a Goal without a Challenge
Most people accept that for a goal to be worthwhile, it needs a certain degree of challenge. However, when they start to encounter resistance to what they are trying to achieve, many start to complain. Some even give up once they realise that the challenges to achieving their goal requires some real effort.
Any worthwhile goal will present challenges, obstacles and resistance. The bigger the goal, the greater the challenges and resistance are likely to be. A healthy way of thinking about such challenges is to recognise them as the essential resistance that your business needs to take off and grow in the same way that an aeroplane needs to overcome gravity and drag to take off and a plant needs to push its roots into the soil of the earth in order to grow. You then respond to this resistance with well considered actions.

So when confronted with challenges and obstacles learn to work with them, through them and around them. This requires persistence, flexibility and creativity in your approach.

When working with clients, whether on professional or personal goals I help them recognise that the fact the they are encountering obstacles is the evidence that they are making progress and have moved from where they were previously. Thus they learn to see challenges and obstacles as stepping stones rather than stumbling block; opportunities rather than threats.

I came across this in Tania Kotsos's book, "The Adventure of I".
It was written be Christian D Larson in 1912 and later became known as the Optimist's Creed.

Promise Yourself
Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends fell that there is something worthwhile within them.
To look on the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.
To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear,
too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is on you.

INDECISION, DOUBT AND FEAR; The Enemies to Personal Achievement and Wellbeing
Indecision, doubt and fear are very closely related. Napoleon Hill described the relationship as follows.
INDECISION is the seedling of FEAR! Remember this, as you read. Indecision crystalizes into DOUBT, the two blend and become FEAR!
The longer we procrastinate over decisions the more we start to doubt whether the fruit of any action is achievable. Having allowed these thoughts to take root in our minds we then might look at all the obstacles and challenges and make them so overwhelming in our imagination that we fear taking the necessary steps forward.
These thoughts need to be challenged. It is by taking control over our thinking and feeling faculties that we are able to overcome indecision, doubt and fear. Everything that we create as human beings first begins as a thought. Positive constructive thinking will produce positive constructive outcomes, negative destructive thinking will produce negative destructive outcomes. We can chose to control our thinking but this does require some work. Thoughts are real things that have a power and a force that have the tendency to clothes themselves with their physical equivalences. Fear had an important role to play in the evolution of humankind and even today in dangerous situations triggers the fight or flight response. However, if we allow fear to dominate our lives it will limit our ability to perform. Napoleon Hill in “Think and Grow Rich” says the following:
“This fear paralyses the faculty of reason, destroys the faculty of imagination, kills off self-reliance, undermines enthusiasm, discourages initiative, leads to uncertainty of purpose, encourages procrastination, wipes out enthusiasm and makes self-control an impossibility. It takes the charm from one’s personality, destroys the possibility of accurate thinking, diverts concentration of effort,….. destroys ambition, beclouds the memory and invites failure in every conceivable form; it kills love and assassinates the finer emotions of the heart, discourages friendship and invites disaster in a hundred forms.”
If you allow indecision, doubt and fear to control your life it will eventually become expressed as lack of ambition, lack of initiative, lack of imagination and lack of enthusiasm. You will come up with alibis and excuses to cover up your lack of achievement. You will criticise and be envious of those who are successful.
The alternative is to develop stepping stones to your advancement. You need to develop self-confidence, definiteness of purpose, self-control, initiative, enthusiasm, ambition, and sound reasoning ability. Much of this you can do by yourself. Practice yoga or meditation. Listen to inspiring music and watch positive and development films and videos. Start to associate with positive minded people. Read personal development books. You may even want to get yourself a personal development coach.
Your choices in how you spend your time, energy and money now will determine what you become in the future.

I have just finished reviewing Napoleon Hill's 13 Principles in his book "Think and Grow Rich". I have always argued throughout my review of this book that material wealth should not be one's primary goal in practising the principles and steps described in this book. Self awareness and personal spiritual growth should always be the primary goal that one is pursuing. This will deliver true inner wealth and over time this inner wealth will unfold into its appropriate outer material wealth. The heightened awareness that one acquires through personal spiritual growth equips one with the ability to empathetically, lovingly and creatively engage in the material world so as to add value to the lives of others as well as one's own life.

THE SIXTH SENSE: THE DOOR TO THE TEMPLE OF WISDOM - Life Balance Hill himself refers to the Sixth Sense as the medium of contact between the finite mind of man and Infinite Intelligence, a mixture of both the mental and the spiritual, the point at which the mind of man contacts the Universal Mind.

The Transformative Power of Appreciation

Appreciation is a soul quality that can transform our lives. All we need to do is focus on something for a moment, it could be a rock, flower, cloud formations, our pets, a building; take in what it has to offer and feel appreciation for that experience. Obviously we can offer appreciation to other human beings with whom we have relationships with. But this appreciation is not about going round saying thank you to people; it is actually more than gratitude. We are grateful usually for things we have received. With appreciation there is a greater connectedness with that which we are appreciating; there is a valuing of the thing that we have engaged with. Just by practising conscious appreciation for one minute a day we can transform the way we experience the world. As we engage with things and people more appreciatively, our life become more fulfilling and vibrant.

So practice at least one minute of conscious appreciation a day. Simply find a thing or person to focus on, acknowledge its presence, that it exists. Because of your focus on it, you have established a connection with the thing or person; you are receiving feedback. The more gentle attention you give the greater the quality of the feedback you will receive. Feel the value in this connection that you have established. Then feel appreciation for the experience you have had. Feel appreciation for the existence of that thing or person.

In this week post on my website I am summarising Napoleon Hill chapter entitled FAITH

Page not found - Life Balance

Napoleon Hill entitles chapter 2; DESIRE: THE STARTING POINT OF ALL ACHIEVEMENT.
http://life-balance-coaching.co.uk/index.php/2018/01/21/desire/
He explains the 6 steps one must follow to make that which one desires a reality.
My conclusion to this chapter was that; maybe we should be putting equal if not more effort into acquiring inner wealth as we do in acquiring financial wealth for our inner wealth we take with us through eternity, our financial wealth we leave behind.

This week post on my website I have entitled "The Power of Thought"
http://life-balance-coaching.co.uk/index.php/2018/01/14/the-power-of-thought/

I have decided to use my weekly posts to summarise and critique a number of personal development and self improvement classics. I am beginning with Napoleon Hill’s book “Think and Grow Rich” which was published in 1937. It is still strongly recommended in business circles as a must read and many business coaches still use its methodology in working with their clients. The books is preoccupied with the achievement of financial wealth but Hill states on a number of occasions that the process can be applied to any goal that a person may set for him or herself to achieve.

The underlying principle that Hill is presenting in this introduction is that we become what we think. The greater the intensity of our thinking the greater that which we think about will be attracted towards us. Not everybody is going to have the inner drive or desire to set up their own business. I have met many people who have made a lot of money but are not happy people. They are still caught on that merry go round of life. The real question people need to ask themselves is, “what is it that will give me joy and fulfilment in life?”; this might be more to do with wealth in friendships and relationships, hobbies and one’s vocation than being financially rich. So keeping this broader concept of wealth in mind, let us keep an open mind and move on to Napoleon Hill’s first principle next week.

You can get a free ebook of the Napoleon Hill's THINK AND GROW RICH via this link http://eepurl.com/dhc6Kv

The Importance of Gratitude
Gratitude has its own intrinsic value. Through nurturing the feeling of gratitude within our being we actually start to feel more positive about things. It actually raises the vibration of our being and we open ourselves up to receive that which would benefit us.
Increasingly there is much scientific research taking place on the importance of gratitude and its affects. Martin Seligman, Robert Emmons, and Michael McCullough have all been engaged in the study of gratitude and its relationship to physical, mental and social well-being.
To read the full post go to:
http://life-balance-coaching.co.uk/index.php/life-balance-coaching-blog/