Tomm Melody Coaching, Potters Bar (2026)

22/03/2022

“You will thank me one day” said my Dad.

Throughout my education, I struggled.

Academically, I was always in the lowest set and it felt that I had to work ten times harder than my peers just to achieve the baseline academic results.

The education system made me feel stupid and did a great job in training me to become a master of ticking boxes. If you can recall the text book you’re smart if not you’re stupid.

There was no reward for emotional intelligence or out-of-the-box thinking.

As long as you “learn what you need to learn for the exam”. You’re all good.

I was very fortunate to always have a shining beacon of support through my parents.

While my academic capabilities were always average, they helped me to see that intelligence is not exam deep.

When I was in primary school I took part in an innovative programme , focusing on improving brain function through daily hand-eye coordination exercises.

Twice a day every day, I had to do these seemingly stupid exercises…

Throwing bean bags in the air...

Standing on a wobble board...

Looking at different parts of the room...

Sitting on a swiss ball...

I hated it

My younger self would violently protest:

"DAD THIS IS A CON! A SCAM! WHY CAN’T YOU SEE IT'S JUST LIKE THOSE TEDDY GRABBER MACHINES DOWN THE SEAFRONT”

But my Dad stood patiently firm. Doing the exercises with me daily, never letting me miss a single one. Ever.

He would always say

“Keep going Tomm, you will thank me for this one day” (I had the double M even then because I’m a unique bitch)

And he was right. Through the programme my grades improved and to this day I am grateful to my parents for their never-ceasing support.

They knew what was best for me even though my 9-year-old self couldn’t see it.

Now as a coach I often feel the same when working with clients.

To live a healthy fit fulfilled life, clients think they need:

Sexy workouts and fancy equipment.

They think they need a diet.

They think they “just need a plan”.

They think they need more motivation.

They think they need to “wait for the right time”.

They think they need to stop eating carbs and get back on the wagon.

They think they need to cut out everything nice in their life.

They think they need to focus more on fitness and nutrition

But this isn’t a fitness and nutrition issue. This is a you issue.

What they really need is insight.

Insight into why this is all happening that the stories they tell themselves are just that - stories.
They need to remove the mask, feel the edgy, satisfying energy that flows when you operate as your true self. How it feels to drop the mic with no desire to ever pick it up.

The devil is in the detail.

If this is for you, DM me.

21/03/2022

There is no wagon
There is no straight and narrow
Nothing to keep in check
No kick start

Just your own bu****it that you can't see yet

Once you come to terms with the fact that your perception of reality may not actually be reality, all of a sudden fitness becomes something that flows, not something you have to "stick to" .

The same is true for all areas of life.

18/03/2022

Picture this

You go to the cinema to watch a film

The film starts but something isn’t right

A few minutes in you realize what it is.

You’re watching the wrong film!

You have a choice

You can stay, experience a world you’re not interested in, with characters you don’t care about and a plot that bores you.

Or you can get up… cause a little short term disruption but then go on to watch the film you actually want to experience.

So many humans spend most of their life watching the wrong film, playing a character who isn’t truly them, forcing their square peg into a round hole.

It's exhausting

You live your life in a state of stress and anxiety thinking there is no other way, seeking any opportunity to escape with food, drink or overworking.

Fearful that if you are truly yourself, everything will come crashing down.

You’re so deep into the wrong film, it's hard to see any way out. You buy into your stories of what is, who you are, keep yourself trapped.

I’m inviting you to come and watch a different film. Just you and I in the cinema.

Let's pull back the curtain, remove your mask and reveal who you truly are and watch how everything changes.

4-6 weeks working 1:1 together. If you're ready that's all you will need to start operating differently.

DM for details

10/03/2022

You might like it

But society

But you might like it…

Rich Litvin once said

“Who you are is not an absolute, it's a choice”

The sooner we can realize this, the sooner we can start to truly experience life and find fulfillment in why we were put on this planet.

You’re frustrated because, for whatever reason, you’re trying to fit your square peg into a round hole.

You’re not like everyone else…

Some people are content to buy into what was taught to them (no judgment here):

Get a nice fulfilling job
Get yourself some kids
Nice car
House (Don’t forget to post on Facebook and caption “We did a thing”)

Some people aren't

You realize you’re dead in 80-100 years and there is more to all of this.

You want to explore the fringes of your personality and glitch the matrix, to discover who you truly are, not just what you were born into or what other people expect of you.

It's time to start reviewing the rules around everything you do. To complete an audit of your life.

Do the traditional rules around:

Romantic relationship
Getting fit
Running your business/work
Friendships
Work-Life balance
Holidays
Sex

Really work for you or are you just blindly taking hand-me-downs you don’t even want?

04/03/2022

My sister is a paramedic & she sees some sights.

When faced with an emergency she responds differently to you and I.

She is calm, centred, compassionate, clear, concise.

Her emotions don’t get the better of her, dictate her performance and there isn’t any room for fluff, just a sophisticated flow.

She's learned to respond like this but in order to do it she had to unlearn all of the previous natural tendencies that weren't serving her.

Why should we look at life any different?

Humans continually repeat the same patterns stuck in the victim mentality that:

“This is my lot”
“This is who I am”
“I like this, do this, am this”

There is another choice.

Channel the inner zen of a paramedic and make a different choice.

03/03/2022

Does anxiety have to be part and parcel of life?

I don't think so.

Here is my voice note

24/02/2022

I walked up the garden path and immediately the conditioned emotion surged within me

“They haven’t fed the dogs AGAIN!”

The frustration raged and searched for an outlet

The mind continued to justify

“That is their job”

“I AM so sick of reminding them”

“How many more times?”

I searched for said person to release said fury.

But then came the distortion:
The snag in the line
Bug in the system
Malfunction in the matrix

Presence

Do I want to respond like that?
Is this going to help them?
Is there another way?

Instead of flowing with the conditioning, acting out the impulse and the argument following the predictable pattern, like groundhog day on crack, I sat with the feeling and allowed another choice to flow.

A different conversation ensued, fresh and loving. Mutual empathy and understanding.

A small example of how we keep ourselves stuck.

This kind of work isn’t rewarded in today's world.

You’re praised for your work in the physical.

“Results”
“Tangibles”
“Productivity”

All important but come easier when you’re living your design.

But its your lack of work in the nonphysical that's keeping you stuck, feeling unfulfilled, cycling through diet after diet, never seeing any change.

This isn’t something you can do part-time, it's not a hack or a quick tip, it's a way of life.

Choosing presence over autopilot
Staying awake rather than going to sleep
Taking responsibility not playing the victim.

Glitch your conditioning and the weight loss will become effortless, the productivity will flow, your life will change.

Need help?

14/02/2022

There is a certain sophistication to life when you slow things down a little

28/11/2021

In World War 2 the allies used fake blow-up tanks to device the enemy.

From above the tanks look menacing.

In reality, they were useless and completely pretend.

I often think about the blow-up tanks when I go into a service station and take a look at the “food” on offer.

All around us, blow up, fake “convenience food” making us overweight, ill and leading us to an early grave.

The manufacturers cook differently to us.

Last time I checked my pantry for seasoning I didn't find: Thickener E466, high fructose corn or acidity regulators in there. Check the ingredients of your microwave meal and you will find something similar.

We are not designed to eat this fake food and this is why so many people struggle with their health.

Nobody is saying you can’t enjoy yourself but if long term success is your goal try this:

Aim to eat wholefoods most of the time and have the processed stuff as a treat. In my programme I call it “Making a Ceremony ''. Schedule one meal each week (schedule! Don’t do it on impulse) that you plan to enjoy your treat. Get out the nice plates, the nice forks, the nice teacups and enjoy your Ceremony without a serving of guilt. This is about long-term success, not short-term restrictions.

When you do this you will lose weight and become healthier without being on a diet. It works well for my clients (see screenshots)

If you want some ideas DM me and I’ll send you something that will help.

18/11/2021

I’ve been speaking to Mr A for over two years now

I first called Mr A in September of 2019.

“Now is not a good time, I’m about to go on holiday, call me in two weeks”

Two weeks later I called Mr A  “Sorry Tomm, It's super busy at work, I’ll wait until new year” 

Happy New year Mr A how’s things going with your fitness?  

“Not good Tomm but can’t start now, a staff member has just left me. Let’s connect at the end of Feb, things should be quieter then.”

I hear you Mr A but there is never a perfect time, are you free to speak later?  “No Tomm, try in Feb”

Hey Mr A, me again! Are you ready to have a chat?  “Tomm I think we will be going into lockdown soon, give me a couple of weeks, I’ll start then, I promise”

Hey Mr A Tomm again, owing to the current lockdown I’ve moved my business fully online. Clients are doing great. Would you like to have a chat?  

“Online isn’t for me, call me after the lockdown”  

Hey Mr A, doesn’t look like lockdown is going to end anytime soon, how is fitness going?

  “Badly Tomm but I’m trying. Still don’t want to do online, call me after the lockdown”  

Finally the end of lockdown Mr A hope you’ve had your covid trim! I am seeing clients face to face again. Ready for a chat?

“Manic at work again Tomm so sorry. 100% going to get started once we are fully open again”

Mr A, time to get started?

Hey Mr A no response to my last text, everything ok?

Mr A?  “Hi Tomm, this is Mr A’s wife. I’m so sorry but Mr A has had a heart attack and passed away.“

There is never a perfect time. Health doesn’t be something you do part-time when it's convenient. If you would like me to help you to put the structures in place to keep you healthy toned and strong 365 days of the year send me a dm to get started.

18/11/2021

Intuitively improve your relationship with food while going on a fasted fitness journey

Does anyone know what any of the above actually means? 🤷‍♂️

Sometimes, like James with his bottle opener, we overcomplicate the simple.

What if we spent less time “Improving our relationship with food” and more time improving our relationships with our friends and family?

What if we stressed less about “how eat intuitively” or if black coffee breaks our fast and instead just focuses on eating more plants?

What if we stopped going on diets and instead made long-term behavioral changes.

Often when we start working with a coach we think we need accountability so they can give us a “kick up the arse” , a little bit of tough love.

Actually, It's more about holding you accountable to achieving a result, not overcomplicating things and helping you focus on working smarter not harder.

Would you like to work with me 1:1 so I can guide and support you every step of the way? DM me and let's have a chat.

Tomm Melody Coaching

22/03/2022

21/03/2022

18/03/2022

10/03/2022

04/03/2022

03/03/2022

24/02/2022

14/02/2022

28/11/2021

18/11/2021

18/11/2021

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