Julie Millar Counsellor & Coach

It's the first of the month!! If you're like me and you enjoy setting goals, targets & intentions, the first of the month is an exciting time.
I've always thought that September felt more like the start of the new year, rather than January. So if you'd like to join me in this new year adventure I've attached a copy of the wheel of life for you. This is used as a coaching assessment tool but I also use this tool in my own life as a starting point for change, and to check in once a month.
I've also attached a blank one so you can choose your own segments if the categories don't quite suit.

How to use the Wheel of Life:
For each segment ask yourself “On a scale of 1 – 10 (where 1 is low and 10 is ideal) how satisfied do I feel in this area of my life. You can take as much time as you like on this.
Show your score for each segment however you’d like to; either colouring the whole section or shading just the score line.
Choose the segment you’d like to work on first, this can be the one that scored the least or it can be the one that would feel good to make changes in.

Questions to ask yourself:
What are your beliefs about this area of your life?
What does ‘ideal’ look like? What does it feel like?
Has there been a time when this segment felt better? What were you doing at the time?
How would you know you had improved this area enough for it to feel better?
What could you do today that would help you feel closer to your ideal score?

Let me know if you fancy sharing your intentions for the new year... a bit of accountability never hurts!

Still going with the challenge?

Share an article or podcast I found helpful... https://themattwalkerpodcast.buzzsprout.com/1821163/9424466

Brilliant podcast on sleep...all the episodes are so informative and engaging. I like this one in particular as it's about naps.

I would say I've met the parents of all of my counselling clients, no idea what they look like though!

The One Subject You Really Need to Study: Your Own Childhood Our schools teach us about trigonometry, the 100 years war and the properties of atoms - but they too often forget to address the one topic we really need t...

Action for Happiness

Love this!! Who’s with me for an
Yesterday was ‘set the intention to be kind to others (and yourself)… today is ‘send an uplifting message to someone you can’t be with’

The Drama Triangle
Karpman’s triangle is a great way to identify your role in conflict. We can find ourselves pinging around the triangle, sometimes going from persecutor to victim in no time at all (or vice versa). Or maybe you are always the rescuer, making sure everyone is ok, sometimes to the detriment of yourself?
When you are aware of the part you are playing, you can decide to leave the triangle at any point, nobody's making you stay!

Ways to remove yourself:
Victim: what’s going on for me at this moment that I feel defensive, what hurts are being triggered?
Persecutor: how can I communicate my needs without blaming the other person?
Rescuer: What uncomfortable feelings am I trying to protect you from that if I let you experience might actually help your growth?

Self-awareness changes the dynamic of conflict, when you're aware you have the power to choose change.

One of my favourite tools in the counselling room.
Exploring and getting connected to our emotions is a great way to develop self awareness. Sometimes we need to delve a little deeper to really work out what's going on for us... where anger is really frustration or betrayal or underlying our sadness is guilt or grief.

One of my favourite tools in the counselling room. Exploring and getting connected to our emotions is a great way to develop self awareness. Sometimes we need to delve a little deeper to really work out what's going on for us... where anger is really frustration or betrayal or underlying our sadness is guilt or grief. . . #bournemouthcounsellor #selftherapy #selfawareness #selfreflection #managingemotions #feelingbetter #bournemouthlifecoach

It’s hard to be kind to ourselves. Often our internal voice can be unkind and say things to us that we would never say to anyone else.
Practise talking to yourself as if you were a friend or someone you care for. Sometimes this is easier than actually trying to be kind to ourselves. When you catch your inner critic giving you a hard time, ask yourself “is this how I’d talk to a close friend?”

It’s ok to be not ok! – song lyrics Imagine Dragons
Refreshing message at the Imagine Dragons concert this weekend. There is still stigma around accessing mental health support; that it’s for people who are weak, can’t cope, have no friends/support, and none of this is true. Let’s change the story around mental health.

Might not look much but this is one of my favourite places to be. Each client, sat in the safety of the counselling room, allows me the honour of listening to them, hearing them and truly seeing them. It takes time, but it is time worth taking. Understanding that they are not just a drop in the ocean, but are in fact, the whole ocean in one drop!

There are times in all our lives where we can experience uncomfortable feelings of anxiety, depression, sadness and loneliness. It can be hard to know who or where to turn to in these times, to talk through the things that are bothering us or causing us pain and find solutions when it feels there are none.

I offer a safe, confidential and empathic space for you to express yourself, be heard and feel understood, using our sessions together to explore the emotions, feelings and behaviours that have lead you to this place in your life.

Through our work together you will start to gain a greater understanding of yourself and be able to find your own solutions and answers and bring about the changes that will lead you to a more fulfilled life.