11/12/2025
I returned to the scene of the crime (well, one of). I had to in order to testify to š«š· authorities.
I was nervous, not to mention worried at having to pay for all transport, accommodation etc myself with no guarantee of reimbursement.
I didnāt know how Iād feel being back there, how it would trigger my CPTSD symptoms, or if Iād see anyone from the cult there.
But I had to go back in order to testify, in fact I was called back twice. 2024 was a tough year!
We do not yet know when this case will go to trail; it is a painfully long process.
But, as a survivor, here are some things I learnt (for me) from going back to the scene of the crime:
āØI could make new, positive memories in a place that just held bad ones.
āØVisiting the tribunal building (slide 3) made me realise how seriously the French authorities are taking these crimes which, as a survivor used to feeling you have to constantly justify yourself, was reassuring
āØI had my own little ritual of releasing significant objects at a place that, til then, had a hold over me (slide 4)
āØI could reconnect with a beautiful city, it was now my relationship with Paris and itsā lovely people. And they canāt affect that.
āØI showed myself how strong and capable I am, facing very difficult situations and getting through them. It was tough on my nervous system, but I took care of myself and treated myself well in my down time š§āāļø (slides 5 and 6)