Shannon Hollywood Behaviour Consultant

04/08/2026

For years, I heard the same advice.

"They're only doing it for attention."

"Ignore it and they'll stop."

But what if we've been looking at it the wrong way?

What if, instead of seeing it as attention-seeking, we saw it as connection-seeking?

Because children don't seek connection when everything is going well.

They seek it when they're feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, uncertain or simply need us.

Does that mean we give in to every behaviour?

Absolutely not.

Children still need clear boundaries and guidance.

But ignoring a child who is desperately trying to connect with us often leaves them feeling even more disconnected.

Instead, we can acknowledge the need underneath the behaviour, strengthen the connection, and then guide the behaviour in a safe and healthy way.

💛 Have you ever been told to ignore "attention-seeking" behaviour?

30/07/2026

This week my little girl gave me a reminder that I won't be forgetting anytime soon.

I'd become frustrated and raised my voice. Afterwards, I was talking to her about what I could do differently next time and said, "Maybe I should squeeze my hands to help let some of that frustration out."

She looked at me and said...

"You never do that."

And she was right.

It suddenly dawned on me that I'd taught my older two breathing techniques because that's what I naturally use when I'm overwhelmed.

With her, I'd been talking about different strategies, but I hadn't been showing her them.

It was such a powerful reminder that children learn far more from what we do than what we say.

If we want our children to apologise, they need to see us apologise.

If we want them to take a breath when they're angry, they need to see us take a breath.

If we want them to ask for help, they need to see us ask for help.

Role modelling will always be one of our most powerful parenting tools.

Not because we're perfect, but because we're willing to keep learning alongside our children. ❤️

28/07/2026

Holding boundaries can be one of the hardest parts of parenting.

Not because we don't know what to do, but because it's difficult to sit with our child's disappointment, frustration or anger without wanting to make it better.

Something I remind myself often is this:

It's not my job to keep my children happy all of the time.

My job is to keep them safe, healthy and help them develop the skills they'll need to navigate life.

That sometimes means saying no.

It sometimes means disappointing them.

And it often means staying calm while they experience big feelings.

Children don't need us to remove every uncomfortable emotion.

They need us to show them that they can get through those emotions, with us by their side.

Have you ever found yourself saying yes simply because holding the boundary felt too hard?

21/07/2026

"You're the worst mummy ever."
"You shouldn't have been a parent."

Ouch.

Those words hurt. Especially when they come from the little person you love most.

But here's the thing...
Children don't always say what they mean. They say what they feel.

In that moment, my little girl wasn't calmly evaluating my parenting. She was overwhelmed, tired and frustrated. Her brain was looking for somewhere to put those big feelings, and I happened to be the safest person in the room.

It doesn't make the words easy to hear, but when we understand what behaviour is communicating, it becomes a little easier not to take it personally.

Our job isn't to accept hurtful behaviour. It's to hold the boundary while recognising the feeling underneath.

Sometimes the words children use tell us far more about what's happening inside them than they do about us.

❤️ Have your children ever said something that felt super personal?

16/07/2026

If children could tell us one thing, I wonder what it would be?

As parents, we spend so much time trying to teach, guide and support our children that sometimes we forget to stop and wonder what life feels like from their side.

Maybe they wish we understood how hard it can be to share.

How frustrating siblings can be.

How confusing big feelings are.

Or that sometimes they don't need us to fix it — they just need us to listen.

None of us will get it right all of the time.

But when children feel seen, heard and understood, everything changes.

Which one resonated with you most?

02/07/2026

One of the questions I get asked most often is:

"What exactly do you help parents with?"

The answer is simple.

I help parents understand their child's behaviour so they can respond with more confidence, connection and calm.

Parents usually come to me because they're struggling with:

✨ Big emotions, meltdowns and tantrums
✨ Not listening and co-operation
✨ Sibling conflict
✨ School anxiety and separation worries
✨ Staying consistent when they're exhausted
✨ Co-parenting
✨ Feeling guilty, overwhelmed or like they're getting it wrong
✨ Understanding what their child's behaviour is actually trying to communicate

Most parents don't need to use more sticker charts, rewards or punishments.

They need a different lens through which to view behaviour.

When we understand what's driving the behaviour, everything starts to make more sense.

If you're finding parenting harder than you expected, please know you're not alone and it doesn't mean you're failing in any way.

It might simply mean nobody ever taught you what you needed to know.

If any of this sounds familiar, send me a message or join my free Parenting With Purpose course inside The Parenting Collective ❤️

30/06/2026

When behaviour doesn't make sense, we start questioning everything.

💭 Why won't they listen?
💭 Why are they having another meltdown?
💭 Why do they seem fine one minute and completely overwhelmed the next?

And because it doesn't make sense, we often do what most parents do...

We Google. We ask friends. We try reward charts. We try consequences. We try being stricter. We try being calmer.
And when none of it works consistently, we start doubting ourselves.

But here's what I've learned after 14 years of working with children and families...

✨ Parenting becomes so much easier when behaviour starts to make sense.

Because behaviour isn't random.
It's communication.

It's a child telling us something about:

How they're feeling
What they need
What's happening in their world
What skills they're still developing
When we understand the why behind the behaviour, the what to do becomes much clearer.

And that's why every parent I work with starts in exactly the same place.
Not with strategies.
Not with consequences.
Not with rewards.

✨ With understanding.
Because understanding behaviour changes everything.

If parenting is feeling overwhelming right now, you're not alone.

Start by asking yourself:
💭 What might my child be trying to communicate through this behaviour?

And if you'd like help making sense of what's going on for your child, you can start with my free parenting course Parenting With Purpose or send me a message. I'd love to help ♥️

27/06/2026