10/04/2025
Leading with Love: How to Get the Best from People in Stressful Times
Leading with Love is a strange title and sounds a bit ‘hippy’, but it’s a good hook to get us thinking about how we can get the best from ourselves and others—especially during stressful and changing times.
Leading with Love is about creating the right conditions for high performance, based on the fact that we are all emotional animals.
Emotional safety is at the base of productive work performance.
Whenever people feel under stressed threat, their emotional brain takes over and shuts down the part of the rational brain that sets and achieves goals, makes plans, solves problems, makes decisions, and gets results.
We cannot be creative, focused, or rational when we feel unsafe, threatened, or stressed.
Leading with Love means building a safe and respectful environment where people feel appreciated, respected, and valued.
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Understanding the Brain
There are three parts of the brain that drive behaviour:
• The instinctive brain handles automatic functions like balance and survival.
• The emotional brain controls feelings—both negative and positive: stress, threat, fear, anger, upset, and also desire, confidence, commitment, optimism, and motivation.
• The rational brain is the seat of all production: goal achievement, planning, preparation, invention, innovation, and continuous improvement.
But here’s the thing: the rational brain only works when the emotional brain feels safe.
If the emotional brain feels unsafe—if it feels threatened—the rational brain shuts down instantly.
That’s why under pressure, people go blank, shut down, or play up.
Psychologists call this the freeze, flight, or fight response.
This doesn’t just happen in extreme situations. It happens every day at work—when people feel unsafe, threatened, uncertain, rejected, unappreciated, disrespected, devalued, or overwhelmed.
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What Does a Good Leader Do?
As leaders, our job is to create the emotional conditions where people can think clearly, rationally, and productively.
That means we must learn to talk to both brains at once:
• The rational brain, which drives performance
• And the emotional brain, which can shut down performance if it feels threatened by circumstances or poor communication
Leading with Love is about getting the best from people by appealing to both the rational and emotional brain.
We do that by making sure our people feel safe, secure, and appreciated—not unsafe, threatened, or unappreciated.
We do this by learning how to communicate in ways that put the emotional brain in a non-threat, happy state—and by avoiding acting in ways that trigger the freeze, flight, or fight response, which shuts down the rational, productive mind.
When people feel valued, respected, and safe, they perform much better.
That’s not fluffy—it’s good psychology, and it’s good business practice.
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Learn How to Lead with Love
We’re running a one-day course called Leading with Love.
It’s practical. It’s science based. It helps leaders bring out the best in people—by keeping the emotional brain in a happy state, which leaves the rational brain free to get on with making progress.
We can come to your business and teach your people these leadership communication skills.
Or people can attend our live online course, which runs on the 16th day of every month.
If you want to learn how to lead people through stress, change, or uncertainty—and help them do their best work—you need to know how to Lead with Love.
https://corporatecoachgroup.com/courses/leading-with-love
Chris Farmer