I AM A

Part 5 | Regulation Does Not Always Look Neurotypical

A regulated child does not always look still, quiet, compliant, or emotionally restrained.

Many autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD pupils regulate in ways that are often misunderstood.

A child who is: • fidgeting • pacing • doodling • avoiding eye contact • using sensory tools • taking a quiet break

may still be fully engaged in learning.

These behaviours are not automatically signs of disengagement.

They can be ways of managing sensory, emotional, cognitive, and social demands.

A child who is rocking may be concentrating.

A child who avoids eye contact may be listening carefully.

A child who needs movement may be working hard to maintain attention.

When we focus only on outward appearance, we risk confusing regulation with compliance.

The goal is not to make children appear neurotypical.

The goal is to help them access learning, communication, relationships, and wellbeing in ways that work for their nervous system.

Meaningful inclusion begins when we stop asking:

"How do we make this child fit the environment?"

and start asking:

"How do we make the environment more accessible to this child?"

Part 4 | The AuDHD Regulation Paradox

Have you ever wanted something so badly, only to feel overwhelmed once you got it?

For many AuDHD people, that experience can happen every day.

The ADHD side may crave: • movement • novelty • stimulation • social connection

While the autistic side may become overwhelmed by: • noise • unpredictability • sensory intensity • social demands

This can create a cycle of:

seeking stimulation → becoming overloaded → withdrawing to recover → becoming understimulated again

This isn't inconsistency.

It's a nervous system trying to balance competing needs.

Instead of asking:

"Why can't they make up their mind?"

Perhaps we should ask:

"What is this nervous system trying to balance right now?"

Part 2 | Sensory Overload Is Not “Being Difficult”

Some neurodivergent people spend enormous amounts of energy trying to tolerate environments that others barely notice.

Over time, that nervous-system strain accumulates.

Sensory overload happens when the nervous system receives more input than it can comfortably process.

For some autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD individuals, environments that appear “normal” to others may feel physically or emotionally overwhelming.

This may include: • harsh artificial lighting • crowded classrooms • multiple conversations • constant interruptions • visual clutter • strong smells • unpredictable noise • prolonged social demands

Over time, cumulative overload may affect: • concentration • communication • emotional regulation • fatigue • participation • wellbeing

Some people may become visibly distressed. Others may shut down quietly. Others may appear restless, irritable, distracted, or emotionally overwhelmed.

Importantly, sensory experiences vary significantly between individuals.

Not all neurodivergent people experience sensory processing in the same way, and dysregulation is rarely caused by one factor alone.

Sleep, stress, anxiety, emotional safety, communication demands, and executive functioning all interact with regulation.

Many behaviours we label as “challenging” may actually be signs that a nervous system has exceeded its capacity to cope.

The goal should not simply be endurance.

It should be accessibility.

Part 1 | What Is Sensory Regulation?

Many neurodivergent children are not struggling because they “cannot behave.”

They are struggling because their nervous systems are trying to cope with environments that feel overwhelming, unpredictable, or inaccessible.

Sensory regulation is how the nervous system responds to the world around us.

Things like:
• sound
• lighting
• movement
• touch
• crowds
• visual information
• social interaction

can all affect how regulated or dysregulated someone feels.

For autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD people, sensory processing may differ significantly from neurotypical experiences.

Some individuals may become overwhelmed by sensory input.
Some may seek stimulation to help regulate attention and focus.
Others may fluctuate between both depending on stress, fatigue, environment, and emotional load.

This is why sensory regulation is not simply about comfort.

It can affect:
• concentration
• emotional regulation
• communication
• learning
• behaviour
• fatigue
• wellbeing

A child who is dysregulated is not always refusing to learn.

Sometimes the nervous system is simply communicating:
“This environment is too much for me right now.”

Understanding sensory regulation changes how we understand behaviour, inclusion, and support.