Dr Duncan

I’ve had many conversations with my therapist in which I’ve been talking about my interactions with someone and she’s said, “He [or she] isn’t curious.”

After a brief pause to reflect on my therapist’s observation, and to think back through the interactions I had with that person, I typically exclaim “Oh s**t! I hadn’t even noticed that.” Even as I’m writing this now, I’m thinking of some other very disturbing interactions I’ve had in my life and I’m realizing that those were also characterized by zero curiosity from the other person.

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What I’m Learning About Curiosity I’ve had many conversations with my therapist in which I’ve been talking about my interactions with someone and she’s said, “He [or she]…

The problem is that we have this bad habit of projecting our own wounding onto other humans. So instead of seeing them as the beautiful, natural, and potentially wounded animals that they are, we sometimes see them as conniving, malicious, and intentionally evil villains. We sometimes strive to make ourselves feel better by placing the parts of ourselves that we cannot abide “over there” with “them.” We disempower ourselves and prevent our freedom by telling a story of victimhood: the problem is not within our own power to solve, “it’s their fault.”

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I See People As Animals A while back I read an open question from a friend on social media: “how do you see other people?” I guess possible answers could include…

Walking home from hot yoga yesterday, a friend asked me how I felt.

“Irritated,” I said.

“Wow. I’ve never heard anyone say that before,” She said, “relaxed, a little high, but not irritated.”

We talked about my meditation practice and about how sometimes my meditation sessions leave me feeling angry.

“I’ve been struggling with meditation too.” She said.

I wondered if this implication about me was true. I asked myself, “Have I been struggling with meditation?” I didn’t respond out loud but, internally, it became clear that I have not, in fact, been struggling much with my twice-daily meditation practice.

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Meditation Makes Me Angry Walking home from hot yoga yesterday, a friend asked me how I felt.

It’s been on a long, weird, and often painful journey since the awakening happened in 2001, when I was 27. Sitting in that room in Mountain View, California (the city were Google’s HQ is) I focused my attention on my breath in the nostrils, bringing it back each time I noticed that it wandered.

Before long, the attention was centered in the forehead, calm, steady, still. Then, once the level of concentration crossed a critical threshold, the process took charge of itself. Like a tiny blackhole forming inside my forehead, all the unconscious attention throughout my body was tugged free from its preoccupation with the countless subtle sensations and was drawn in and up, like thousands of strands of thread, into that tiny, black point of nothingness.

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The Day “I” Died It’s been on a long, weird, and often painful journey since the awakening happened in 2001, when I was 27. Sitting in that room in Mountain…

I have a memory of being a baby and crying in my crib, wanting, needing to be comforted by my mum. Perhaps I had woken from a nightmare. I cried and cried, getting louder and louder. Somehow, I knew she could hear me, but she was not coming. I don’t know why she didn’t come, and it doesn’t matter for this story.

I amped-up the cries, making them increasingly extreme, demonstrating my distress, asking for help in the only way I knew how. Eventually, exhausted, I self-witnessed the crying and saw how pointless it was, how helpless I was. I began to feel ashamed of my behavior. I actually felt myself forming the shame, the embarrassment for what I had done. That was the resolution.

I had asked for something that clearly I did not deserve. I had asked and I had insisted that I have something and there was no reflection in response, not even “I’m right out here, and I know you’re upset, but I can’t help you right now.”

Looking back on it, I can see how much that was a foundation for many of my later struggles in life. Back then, I stopped asking for what I wanted. I only took what was freely given to me (amazingly, I spiritualized that). I have had to gradually dispel that shame and to recognize that it’s okay to ask for what I want; it’s actually critical for my wellbeing.

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My Struggle to Sit With Discomfort I have a memory of being a baby and crying in my crib, wanting, needing to be comforted by my mum. Perhaps I had woken from a nightmare. I…

Here are some thoughts that I recently recorded to share with my son as I introduce him to the law of attraction. I am hoping that he, you, I, we all can learn to utilize the law of attraction more consciously.

You get more of what you focus on. Persist in the development of the mental muscle to steer your mind towards what you would like more of. The creative process is being persistent and consistent with:

1. Request by thinking about it (focusing on it) with emotion. If it feels good then it’s what you would like. If it feels bad then it’s not what you would like. Prioritize feeling good by focusing on what you would like.

2. Persist in expecting and trusting that you will receive it.

3. Receive your creation. Whatever comes (even if it includes things you don’t want), welcome it as your creation, affirming your creative power. Use how you feel about what you have created as a contrast to refine your creation, to focus more fully on what you want.
When you notice that you feel bad, it’s not necessary to identify precisely what you’re thinking about or focusing on. Simply turn your attention to a thought that feels good.

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Some Thoughts About the Law of Attraction Here are some thoughts that I recently recorded to share with my son as I introduce him to the law of attraction. I am hoping that he, you…

I support many people in becoming more successful in life. While I’ve taught many practical skills (such as organization), I have also come to realize that perhaps the most impactful factor is mindset. In this article, I will cover several aspects of mindset and how to develop them.

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How to Develop a Winning Mindset I support many people in becoming more successful in life. While I’ve taught many practical skills (such as organization), I have also come…