Crossroads Life Coaching

" I counted my years and discovered that I have
less time to live going forward than I have lived until now.

I have more past than future.
I feel like the boy who received a bowl of candies.
The first ones, he ate ungracious,
but when he realized there were only a few left,
he began to taste them deeply.

I do not have time to deal with mediocrity.
I do not want to be in meetings where parade inflamed egos.

I am bothered by the envious, who seek to discredit
the most able, to usurp their places,
coveting their seats, talent, achievements and luck.

I do not have time for endless conversations,
useless to discuss about the lives of others
who are not part of mine.

I do not have time to manage sensitivities of people
who despite their chronological age, are immature.

I cannot stand the result that generates
from those struggling for power.

People do not discuss content, only the labels.
My time has become scarce to discuss labels,
I want the essence, my soul is in a hurry…
Not many candies in the bowl…

I want to live close to human people,
very human, who laugh of their own stumbles,
and away from those turned smug and overconfident
with their triumphs,
away from those filled with self-importance,
Who does not run away from their responsibilities ..
Who defends human dignity.
And who only want to walk on the side of truth
and honesty.
The essential is what makes
life worthwhile.

I want to surround myself with people,
who knows how to touch the hearts of people ….
People to whom the hard knocks of life,
taught them to grow with softness in their soul.

Yes …. I am in a hurry … to live with intensity,
that only maturity can bring.
I intend not to waste any part of the goodies
I have left …
I'm sure they will be more exquisite,
that most of which so far I've eaten.

My goal is to arrive to the end satisfied and in peace
with my loved ones and my conscience.
I hope that your goal is the same,
because either way you will get there too .. "

Mário de Andrade

I think the following story about Kurt Vonnegut is spot on and could not help, but to share it. Enjoy!

In 2006 a high school English teacher asked students to write a famous author and ask for advice. Kurt Vonnegut was the only one to respond - and his response is magnificent:
“Dear Xavier High School, and Ms. Lockwood, and Messrs Perin, McFeely, Batten, Maurer and Congiusta:
I thank you for your friendly letters. You sure know how to cheer up a really old geezer (84) in his sunset years. I don’t make public appearances any more because I now resemble nothing so much as an iguana.
What I had to say to you, moreover, would not take long, to wit: Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what’s inside you, to make your soul grow.
Seriously! I mean starting right now, do art and do it for the rest of your lives. Draw a funny or nice picture of Ms. Lockwood, and give it to her. Dance home after school, and sing in the shower and on and on. Make a face in your mashed potatoes. Pretend you’re Count Dracula.
Here’s an assignment for tonight, and I hope Ms. Lockwood will flunk you if you don’t do it: Write a six line poem, about anything, but rhymed. No fair tennis without a net. Make it as good as you possibly can. But don’t tell anybody what you’re doing. Don’t show it or recite it to anybody, not even your girlfriend or parents or whatever, or Ms. Lockwood. OK?
Tear it up into teeny-weeny pieces, and discard them into widely separated trash receptacals. You will find that you have already been gloriously rewarded for your poem. You have experienced becoming, learned a lot more about what’s inside you, and you have made your soul grow.
God bless you all!"
Kurt Vonnegut

We all have a lot in common. You may be a successful executive, a nurse, musician or actor. And, my clients all have in common an interest to be the best they can be. It is not always easy. It involves risk. It involves success and recognition. It it involves failure. One way I can assist on this journey is to learn about resiliency. So let me share some tips:

Bounce Back After Being Rejected for an Internal Position

Job rejection is always difficult, but it can sting even more when you don’t get chosen for an internal role. How can you continue to work not only in the same organization after hearing “no,” but also with the same people who rejected you?

Resist personalizing the decision. In most cases, being passed over isn’t a reflection of your skills or personality. It’s likely that another candidate was simply more qualified, or that the company wanted to bring in someone external for reasons that are entirely out of your control.

Act with integrity. It may be tempting to throw in the towel and disengage in an act of retaliation, but that will only undermine your position. Responding with grace will bolster your reputation and set you up for success in the future.

Mine the experience for lessons. What have you discovered about your organization during this process? How can you use that information to your advantage? Who holds influence and decision-making power? What priorities and pain points is the company concerned about? Reflect and adjust your approach to your job accordingly.

THIS IS IMPORTANT.
Rebuild your sense of self. Rejection can make you feel powerless and unworthy. Counter that negativity outside of work by engaging in something that challenges you and brings you joy—for example, a hike, a hard workout, or a challenging craft project.

This is where I can help you. Give me a call.

This tip is adapted from “What to Do When You’re Passed Over for an Internal Position,” by Melody Wilding

Painting: The Calling of Saint Matthew-Caravaggo (1599-1600)

As a coach I assist groups and individuals to optimise their work life and outcomes. As an architect my mission is to design environments that are inspiring, supportive, sustainable and meaningful. I comingle these ideals in my coaching and architectural practise, whether it be a one to one session, a group workshop, or designing workplaces, dwellings or public spaces.

I recently read the following and wanted to share these thoughts:

Is Your Workspace Helping You Thrive?
Where you do your work is a reflection of your professional identity: who you are now and who you want to be in your career. Here’s how to intentionally build a workspace where your best professional self can thrive. First, evaluate your space. How do you feel when you step into it? Is it set up to facilitate your productivity and your workplace relationships? Does it reflect your professional journey, reminding you of your past progress—and your future goals? Little changes can make a big difference. For example, you might personalize the space by adding small identity markers like awards, diplomas, or mementos that conjure warm feelings. Or you might change the utility of your workspace, even adding secondary or tertiary spaces to complete certain tasks that require more focus or a change of scenery. If you’re feeling a dearth of social interaction (particularly if you work from home), consider spending one day each week at the office, a coworking space, or even a busy café. Finally, remember to build distance between your home space and your work space. It’s essential to physically communicate to others—and to yourself—that your workday is over.
This tip is adapted from “How Your Physical Surroundings Shape Your Work Life,” by Brianna Barker Caza et al.

Photo:French Painter Henri MATISSE at his home, Villa "Le Rêve". Alpes-Maritimes, France
Artist: Henri Cartier-Bresson

As a Creativity Coach one of my interests and specialities is working with creative groups, and from time to time I will post ideas and tips that you may find helpful. Please free to contact me if you are working in a creative group, as a leader or indeed a frustrated creative individual team member.

Managing the Emotional Labor

Being a team member demands emotional labor—exuding positive, supportive energy to the people who depend on you each day. But what happens when there’s a conflict between how you really feel and the emo­tions you’re expected to project to your team? How can you walk this authenticity tightrope? Here are a few techniques to try.

Do an emotional audit. Ask yourself: What exactly am I feeling? Where do I feel it in my body? What’s causing me to feel this way? How is this feeling different from what's expected of me? Mindfully reflecting on your feelings will help you build emotional intelligence and self-awareness—two key traits of good leaders.
Reappraise the situation. To authentically tap into the positive feelings you’re expected to display, focus on finding legitimate reasons to feel those emotions. If you’re able to locate those reasons, you won’t need to fake the feelings.

Focus on the big picture. Take a step back and reflect on why your work matters. What impact does it have on your team, customers, or broader community? Focusing on the people who benefit from your work can be energizing for both you and your team.

Take time to reconnect and replenish. Seek out support, and be kind to yourself. Connect with people to whom you can express your unfiltered thoughts and feelings—whether it’s your partner, a therapist, or trusted peers. Engaging in activities that enable you to relax and recharge, such as meditation, journaling, art, or nature walks, can also reduce the toll of emotional labor.

This tip is adapted from “When Your Feelings Conflict with Your Leadership Role,” by Dina Denham Smith

Hey everyone! I hope you are having a great weekend! Just to let you know, I’m opening up four new slots in my creativity coaching practice. As an incentive for starting in March, I’m offering new clients the first half-hour session for free. Sign up for three months of creativity coaching and get the first session for
free. Isn’t this the right moment to get your creative life and your creative career back on track? Contact me now!!!
Enjoy!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaFZJ_ymueA

Albert Camus's “The Human Crisis” read by Viggo Mortensen, 70 years later 00:20 Introduction by Shanny Peer, Director of the Maison Française05:35 Introduction by Alice Kaplan, Professor of Yale University11:50 Reading of 'The Huma...

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

Brené Brown: Wsłuchując się we wstyd Wstyd to przemilczana epidemia, leżąca u źródeł wielu patologicznych zachowań. Brené Brown, której wcześniejszy wykład na temat wrażliwości bił w internecie rekordy popularności, zastanawia się, jakie efekty w życiu ludzi może przynieść uczciwa konfrontacja ze wstydem. Z każdego ...

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/30/obituaries/janet-sobel-overlooked.html?action=click&algo=identity&block=editors_picks_recirc&fellback=false&imp_id=902152859&impression_id=564d6492-f1fb-11eb-bd3b-8f5018468477&index=2&pgtype=Article&pool=editors-picks-ls®ion=ccolumn&req_id=920553543&surface=home-featured&variant=holdout_home-featured-c

Overlooked No More: Janet Sobel, Whose Art Influenced Jackson Po***ck With no formal art training, working in her Brooklyn apartment, she took up the drip style of painting that Po***ck later made famous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFRdoYfZYUY

There is this feeling I get when I run across an artist for the first time, whose work moves me like Hania Rani's. Joy. From a purely sensory perspective, the music carried me on a journey. This performance is a gift to the world, as I believe all art is. It is an honour to witness her concentration and experimentation. I hope you enjoy this as I have.

Hania Rani – Live from Studio S2 Listen to 'Live from Studio S2': https://hania-rani.lnk.to/Live-from-Studio-S2The full live set video was premiered on the evening before the annual Piano Da...

https://lithub.com/writers-protect-your-inner-life/?fbclid=IwAR1Y6b7HdmS7SWoOR_1Pg4XOtGoGZinImH6wM2CpxboRuD4gpS9yBm7pqsM

Writers, Protect Your Inner Life This essay is adapted from remarks Lan Samantha Chang gave at the 2017 One Story Debutante Ball. While chatting with a dear non-writer friend of mine, I mentioned that I had been thinking a lot abo…

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/show/in-bringing-the-song-of-rapa-nui-to-the-world-pianist-brings-music-education-home?fbclid=IwAR0WJQ8ytUp2N4ilUDHJQQY19p0IkzRH3AXazd42gNrkk2X9uG-gCKJH8Ss

In bringing the Song of Rapa Nui to the world, pianist brings music education home Mahani Teave grew up on one of the most remote islands on Earth, but the 38-year-old pianist still found a way to bring her music to the world — and music education to Rapa Nui. Jeffrey Brown tells the story of her unusual journey and her new album as part of our ongoing arts and culture series, C...