Udaya: holistic parenting and childcare resources

24/04/2022

What a difference a change of perspective can make!

Shaming and ostracizing children for their shortcomings brings them down and lead to potentially more negative behaviors.

While emotionally educating children through supportive relationships builds them, so that more positive behaviors can emerge.

Changing how we respond to behavior doesn't mean we don't have clear boundaries and expectations about behavior.

It means having a systematic understanding of behavior and seeing it in the context of meaningful relationships: a relational communication model, rather than an internal problem.

To help children feel safe, their learning environment must be rich in autonomy and structure, both properly balanced for their specific level of development.

Stiking the right balance is not always easy, but it can be done.

❤️

19/01/2022

We can do this!

❤️

Vera

07/01/2022

19/12/2021

There are no tricks, quick fixes or shortcuts.

Am I safe when we are in each other's company?
Are all my emotions safe?
How can I be myself when we are together?
Do you want to be with me even when I suffer?

Learning to trust the relationship.
Becoming more connected to others while remaining connected to our own truth and humanity.
This is what matters.
The rest are details.

With love

With love

Vera 💕

02/12/2021

What is education?

What kind of education do we want for our children?

What kind of education do our children benefit most from?

At the heart of this questions are fundamental issues about how we learn,
what skills and knowledge are the most valuable and needed nowadays,
our view of what it fundamentally means to be human
and, ultimately, the kind of society we want to live in.

Warmly

Vera ❤️

18/11/2021

Parenting and education are often done by parents and teachers who are burnt out, over-stressed, under-resourced and often just struggling to make ends meet.

Is it any wonder that we end up making more mistakes that what we can admit?

The more self-compassion we manage to cultivate for ourselves, the more compassion we can offer to our children. They learn from us all the time, more from how we behave than from what we say.

Our ability to admit and fix our mistakes, impacts children.
As much as the lack of this ability does.

We all deserve better.
We can do better.
We can learn.

❤️

10/11/2021

Who has never stolen anything in their life?
How was your stealing dealt with when you did it as a child?


What made you decide to stop stealing?

Why some children keep doing it despite the punishments dished out to them? 


It is extremely challenging to choose connection and kindness with our children, when we disapprove of their actions and behaviours.
Yet this is exactly when we can be of greater support to them.

The belief that we have to give them some kind of consequence is so strong in us.
But it is only when they feel us on their side, not above or judging them, that they open their hearts and allow us to guide them.

Vera

❤️

09/11/2021

Becoming a transitional character requires us to completely transform how we see and respond to our world and environment.

Instead of being tethered to a string of weak links, we can proactively create a new chain and a new story for our family - one that’s much more positive.

Being a transitional character means looking at any vice or problem that’s been a common thread throughout our family history and deciding: “It stops with me.”

Surely, it is easier said than done. We are up against age-old and deeply ingrained patterns that we picked up in childhood and throughout our formative years. It is a challenging task, a proper "hero's journey", fraught with missteps and backsliding.

But it can be done.

May we have the power and support we need to forge a new and stronger link in your family lineage

❤️

07/11/2021

04/11/2021

Seeing our children hurt is so hard!

It is often difficult just to figure out whether they need our help with their struggle or can manage it on their own.

Even when it becomes clear that they need help to overcome a hurdle, it doesn't get easier. Because the way we handle things from here can either build a child's confidence up or it can breake it down.

❤️

02/11/2021

Whenever we fall short of our intentions,
let's give ourselves grace, make amends and try again.

We are just humans.
We make mistakes.
We take time to learn new skills.

Just as our children do.

❤️

31/10/2021

Aiming to adjust our children to a sick environment is no measure of health.
Aiming to adjust the environment to our wholesome children is a healthy measure.

Our children rely on us. The one living inside of us and the ones we hold in our arms.

May every child be an inspiration to leave this this world a better place than we found it.
May every parent have the wisdom and power to make that happen.

🙏 ❤️