Compassion-Centred Coaching

09/05/2026

*FREE COACHING OPPORTUNITY!*

Sometimes we have niggling aches and pains that trips to the doctor and medication just don’t seem able to resolve. That may be because we forget how closely the mind and body are connected.

Emotions we haven’t identified, processed or released can show up in the body in different ways. I love this illustration showing some of the ways physical symptoms may be linked to what’s happening emotionally for us.

• Lower back pain can sometimes reflect feeling unsupported.
• Neck or jaw tension may be linked to repressed anger or unexpressed truths.
• Tense shoulders can suggest you’re carrying too much responsibility alone...

We all move through life shaped by our experiences and the emotional “knowings” we develop because of them.
For one person, hugs may feel loving and comforting; for another, because of past trauma, certain types of physical touch may trigger tension, fear or nausea — even if they don’t consciously understand why.

The body often holds memories and emotional patterns that the logical part of the brain cannot easily access.
This is why somatic approaches are becoming such an important part of healing work.

If you’ve ever thought:
“I need to get out of my own way.”
Or:
“I feel stuck in a loop.”

…it may be because old protective patterns are still living in the body long after they stopped serving you.

The path to healing isn’t about “getting rid” of those parts.
It’s about listening to them.
Understanding them.
Then gently releasing them.

Working with a practitioner can help identify the areas where these emotional patterns are being held in the body, release outdated emotional knowings, and create new learnings that work FOR you, not against you.

Curious to know more?

I’m currently offering a limited number of complimentary experiential coaching sessions for prospective clients (one session per person) in exchange for honest feedback.

These sessions are intended as an opportunity for you to experience this somatic approach firsthand and explore whether ongoing coaching together would feel supportive and aligned for you.

If this resonates, drop me a line to book a time: [email protected]

Illustration credit: Lil’ Things

09/05/2026

Sometimes we have niggling aches and pains that trips to the doctor and medication just don’t seem able to resolve. That may be because we forget how closely the mind and body are connected!

Emotions we haven’t identified, processed or released can show up in the body in different ways. I love this illustration showing some of the ways physical symptoms may be linked to what’s happening emotionally for us.

• Feeling unsupported can sometimes manifest as lower back issues — which makes sense, as the back literally supports the body!
• Pain around the neck or jaw area can be linked to repressed anger or unexpressed truths.
• Tense shoulders may indicate you’re carrying more responsibility than you can comfortably shoulder (pun intended!) alone...

This is why more and more people are discovering that it’s often not enough to do therapy focused only on thoughts and the logical mind.

We all behave the way we do because of what we learned throughout life from the things we experienced. I call these learnings “emotional knowings”.

For one person, hugs may feel loving and comforting; for another, because of past trauma, certain types of physical touch may trigger tension, fear or nausea – even if they don't consciously understand why.

The body often holds memories and emotional patterns that the logical part of the brain cannot easily access.

This is why more and more therapists, coaches and mental health practitioners are integrating somatic approaches into their work. I am one of them and, as a result, clients are often able to experience deeper shifts that may not have been available to them through traditional talking therapies alone.

If you've ever thought.:
“I need to get out of my own way.”
Or:
“I feel stuck in a loop.”
..it may be because emotions and protective patterns are still living in the body long after they stopped serving you.

The path to healing is not about “getting rid” of those parts.

Those parts are longing to be heard. Understood. Acknowledged. Then gently released.

Working with a practitioner can help identify the areas where these emotional patterns are being held in the body, release outdated emotional knowings, and create new learnings that work FOR you, not against you.

Curious to know more?

I’m currently offering a limited number of FREE trial experiential sessions for prospective clients.

These sessions are intended as an opportunity for you to experience this somatic approach firsthand and explore whether ongoing coaching together would feel supportive and aligned for you.

If this resonates, drop me a line for an initial chat: [email protected]

Illustration credit: Lil' Things

01/05/2026

Someone may need to hear this today.
"The way people treat you is a reflection of *their* capacity, their upbringing and their internal state at any given moment."

"It is raraly about you."

"People can only show up from where they are emotionally and mentally."

We often become emotionally triggered because we take what comes at us as a personal attack. So we get hurt, take offence, we become defensive. Your hurt is 100% valid, but your defence can also land like an attack to the other.

This is how conflicts perpetuate themselves.

Sounds familiar?

If you're struggling with convoluted, high-conflict relationships and need clarity and perspective so you can start responding – instead of reacting – to others, I can help. Want to know how?
Drop me a line for a chat: [email protected]

22/02/2026

What does love mean to you?
Is love enough to sustain a relationship?

What do you do when you still love your partner but no longer feel "in love"?

What factors can erode a marriage or partnership over time — and what helps it stay strong despite inevitable conflict?

Many relationships reach a stalemate in midlife. Wives and husbands quietly wonder: Do I leave or do I stay? And as children prepare to leave the nest, long-ignored cracks in the relationship may begin to surface.

If you leave — or if you stay — is your Big Why strong enough to prevent future regret?

Or are you feeling stuck because conflict resolution skills are lacking?
Maybe boundary-setting feels difficult.
Maybe expressing your needs clearly is hard.
Maybe emotional overwhelm turns small ruptures into war-level conflict.

Over the coming days, I’ll be sharing reflections to support your thinking.
If any of this resonates and you’d like a confidential conversation, my inbox is always open for a free, confidential consultation: [email protected]

14/02/2026

Reposting a lovely message from Browne, which I'm sure will resonate with many. 💞

On a day like today, Valentine’s Day can feel… complicated.

When the world is shouting about being loved or in love, it can sometimes make the loneliness feel louder.

It can highlight what society tells us we should have, what we should look like, or where we should be by now.

But I want you to hear this clearly:

You are loved.

You are worthy.

You are enough — exactly as you are.

Your value is not measured by your relationship status.

You do not need to be chosen by someone else to be deeply deserving of love.

Today, if you’re celebrating, I’m happy for you.

And if today feels heavy, tender, or triggering — you are not alone.

Sending love to every woman who is holding her own heart gently today.

You matter. Always.

13/01/2026

"People can only meet you where they are mentally and emotionally. You can’t love someone into having more capacity. You can’t fix or change anyone." - What an important reminder!

I had to learn this the hard way. Not just once but again and again.

When we care about someone, we tend to think, "If I only love them enough, do more, tolerate more, give them more time, be more understanding of their childhood traumas... they will (want to) change/they will see how great I am/they will choose me/they will treat me differently."

This is a STORY we tell ourselves so we can manage our own fear of abandonment and isolation. NO ONE has ever tolerated more, or for longer, and has lived to tell the tale of a happy ending. They only have one thing to say: "I wish I had walked away sooner."

People can only meet you at the level of their own capacity, their own self-awareness (if any), their own readiness. You cannot do their work for them.

The intensity of the love you feel for them has NO impact on their desire to change/improve their behaviours. In fact, the more you try to manipulate them into changing, the more they'll resist and dig their heels in. It's YOU who has a problem with who they are. They're pretty content with who they are.

Listen: they will never change FOR you. They will only change when and if the pain of not changing becomes greater than the pain of staying the same. That may happen...but on THEIR timeline, not yours.

It hurts like hell to hear this, right? I know, I've been there.

But you know what hurts even more? You disrespecting you. You abandoning yourself, your values, your dignity in order to try to be "enough" for someone who isn't even lifting their little finger to try to meet you where you are. STOP!!

Stop wasting your one and precious life trying to change them into someone they're not. Do your own work instead...and see the world around you change!

How? When you commit to yourself, when you re-connect with your values, your dreams, your true desires, with no compromise, four things happen:
1. You stop needing others to be someone they're not so you can be happy.
2. Those who're meant to be in your life will step up to meet the new you, a person who asks clearly for her/his needs to be met, but doesn't nag and doesn't people please.
3. Those who don't step up were not meant to be your life companions, merely "teachers". When you realise this, you'll be able to take their lesson gratefully and move on (to the next level). You're not abandoning. You're evolving.
4. Your world will start changing, as you attract new people into your life, who will *want* to be the best version of themselves to match your current best version of you.

This is what self-work looks like. It requires courage, commitment, determination. Are you ready? Or would you rather carry on nagging or people pleasing...? (Is that working for you?)

I can help you become the badass man/woman you were always meant to be. Not by judging or cajoling you, but through a gentle, compassion-centred approach that will change your relationship with yourself... for good. Drop me a line for an experiential chat: [email protected]

28/10/2025

Such a great reminder for those of us who can be a little too harsh on ourselves sometimes!

1. Every morning check in with yourself: how are your battery levels?
2. Adjust your goals for the day to your actual battery level, *not* to what your Inner Critic tells you is right, which is always idealistic and more often than not un-realistic!
3. Every evening assess whatever you've accomplished, and give yourself kudos for that. Even if what you accomplished was to give yourself a little rest (which you obviously needed!). If you enjoy journalling, download all your thoughts and feelings on your journal before you go to bed.
4. Instead of, "I accomplished X", reframe it as, "I was able to meet an important need. My needs matter."
5. Instead of "I didn't accomplish Y (therefore I failed)", reframe it as, "My to-do list was not realistic. Let me re-prioritise tomorrow's list."
6. Often a task that you've been stressing over, and you think is urgent, is not as life-or-death as you may imagine. Urgent according to whom? Urgent and important or urgent but not important? Intentionally zoom out of your task list, go for a walk, do some physical exercise, go spend time with those you love or do an activity that helps you recharge your battery so you can regain perspective.
7. Perspective is everything when it comes to life goals, not just work ones. Most people have been staring at their to-do list, their messed up careers or relationships or timelines (what you think you need to have achieved by when) from the same darn perspective day in and day out for years. And they wonder why they feel so stuck!

You are probably stuck in a cycle of self-blame, shame and/or self-loathing because you're not seeing you have choices. You've become a prisoner of the sameness of your own patterns, even though you hold the key to your freedom right there, inside of you.

Coaching helps you shift from stuck places because your coach is the mirror you never knew you needed, the person who'll deeply attune to you and compassionately tell you what you're doing that's contributing to your own suffering.

Would you like to explore how this might work in your own case? Whether you're interested in coaching or not, I'm inviting you to have a one-hour call with me, free of charge, which could already start changing everything for you. Don't you think you're worth it? Drop me a line: [email protected]

27/10/2025

It's so interesting when clients who've been sharing with me their frustration with their partners suddenly realise, "Oh my goodness, Chie, the things that trigger me most about my husband/wife/partner are the very same things I used to hate about my mother/father!"

Yup! I hate to tell you this, but we marry our unfinished business. You are partnered with your person...because you were subconsciously looking for an opportunity to heal, repair your childhood wounds. You were attracted to them in the first place because something about their energy felt very familiar to you.

Many couples imagine the solution to the conflicts is to try to change the other person either by coercion or persuasion: "I need you to be this way for me to be happy with you. Can't you see how wrong you are?" This brings up a ton of resistance from the other person, which makes the tension escalate further.

The trick is *not* to try to control your partner's actions or change who they are, but to respond differently, show up everyday with a different, more grounded mindset, so you can invite them to meet you where you are. But in order to get there, you need to first do your inner work, get to know your wounded parts well so they're not in the driving seat of your relationship(s).

If you'd like a detailed orientation on how this could apply to your personal case, drop me a line to book a time for a call: @compassionincoaching.co.uk Consultation calls are 60min and free of charge.

There’s a reason you chose your partner — and it’s not just about love or shared interests.

You were drawn to them unconsciously because they trigger the same wounds you wished they would save you from.

In those painful and disappointing moments, most of us fight, shut down, or over-accommodate.

But that younger part of you that’s reacting doesn’t belong in the driver’s seat.

Instead, we must use these moments not to repeat the past, but to rewrite it. Not by controlling your partner, but by changing how you show up and inviting them to meet you there.

That is how we heal.

27/09/2025

If you are a workaholic or you're in relationship with someone who is, this Atlantic piece could resonate with you. As a recovering workaholic myself, it certainly did speak to me.
(In case you're not able to access the article, I'll attach a PDF version in Comments.)

The workaholic believes that by achieving their material goals they will finally be worthy of love and happiness, Arthur C. Brooks writes. Recognizing this erroneous mindset is the first step to making a change. https://theatln.tc/KUiOSM6g

“If you do little else but work—and are mentally absent when not working—you are likely to find your life feels bereft of enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning,” Brooks continues. “Worst of all, compulsive overworking is incompatible with healthy intimate relationships, which take time, energy, and effort.”

“What I find in highly successful people is that an addiction to work is, in fact, based on an inchoate belief that love from others—including spouses, parents, and friends—can be earned only through constant toil and exceptional merit,” Brooks explains. “Unchecked, this mistaken belief is catastrophic. But understanding the reasons behind this delusion can lead to healing.”

“If you’re tending toward workaholism, you may very well be discovering that the returns to work are falling below the costs to your life,” Brooks writes.

The tragedy of workaholism is the false belief that you can trade toil for affection. Knowing that is the first step to recovery.

09/09/2025

Are you or someone you know using ChatGPT as a pocket therapist?

Increasing numbers of people are turning to AI chatbots for everyday mental health support, and imagine they're getting a "free version" of therapy or coaching. This is a gross misconception. Relying on AI to support your mental health comes with risks that we need to take seriously.

Therapists, counsellors and certified coaches are trained to support your mental health in a safe and ethical manner. They won't people-please the client; they'll question your beliefs or challenge your thinking in order to help you grow.

In contrast, AI chatbots are programmed to mimic human empathy and they'll say what you want to hear (this is why they sound so likeable), thus confirming your biased thinking. As a result, your position might become even more entrenched. Vulnerable people using AI regularly as therapy replacement could also become dependent and lose their critical thinking abilities.

Here's an article that raises some of the most serious of risks of "AI therapy" for reflection.

“Because it’s designed to be positive and affirming, it rarely challenges a poorly framed question or a faulty assumption. Instead, it reinforces the user’s original belief, so they leave the exchange thinking ‘I knew I was right’. That can feel good in the moment but it can also entrench misunderstandings.”

Therapists say they are seeing negative impacts of people increasingly turning to AI chatbots for help