15/09/2023
So, 2 years ago to the day, I was graduating my MA in Special Educational Needs and Disability!
My brothers and an auntie and uncle were by my side for support, as I'd only just lost my dad 3 months before hand and my mum 15 months before that.
I remember at one point telling my eldest brother that I didn't even want to go because they (mum and dad) wouldn't be there - he said 'well, they're not gonna be at anything else moving forward, what are you going to do, just never celebrate anything ever again'? Clearly he was right (don't tell him I said that 🤣) but the truth is, life goes on - no matter how much you may not want it to, without the people you love the most.
We NEVER get over loss, but we do move forward with it ❤️
I still have really bad days. Days were I especially just want to speak to my mum, who was my best friend, and my dad that used to drive me up the wall with his funny little ways 🤣 The realisation of knowing that no one will ever have my back like them ever again, is a lot to take!
Over the last 3 ish years, sometimes I've not known whether I'm coming or going, but then I have times where I'm super focused, on the ball and really productive. I've learnt that it's OK to be both. It's OK to just be. Loss & grief are experienced by us all so very uniquely & that's ok ❤️
Some days I just want to give up & sometimes I do, but I have a 100% survival rate, cos I'm still here 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾 & that's something to be proud of!!!
