Andrea & Nik

Some children desperately want to join in…but when the moment comes, they freeze.

As parents, our instinct is often to say:

“Just go and ask if you can play.”

But for a child who already feels nervous, that can feel huge.

And if the answer is no, it can knock their confidence even more.

Instead, we like to give children a few simple phrases they can practise before they need them:

1️⃣ “What are you playing?”

2️⃣ “Can I be on a team?”

3️⃣ “I like that game. Can I try?”

4️⃣ “Do you need another player?”

5️⃣ “That looks fun. How do you play?”

These small scripts give children somewhere to start.

Not because we want them to sound rehearsed.

But because confidence often comes after children have the words.

Save this for your next trip to the park, soft play or birthday party.

Which phrase would your child be most likely to use?

Comment CALM for our free guide with 6 scripts for those hard parenting moments 💜

Follow for practical parenting scripts that help children build confidence, handle big feelings and communicate clearly.

“Good job!” 👍

I still say it.

And I don’t think it’s a bad thing to say.

But I’ve started asking myself a different question…

What do I want my child to notice?

Do I want them to notice my approval…

Or their own effort?

The other day, my daughter built a tower that kept falling over.

My instinct was to say, “Good job!”

Instead, I found myself saying:

“You kept trying even when it fell down.”

She smiled and replied,

“I know…I didn’t give up.”

That moment really stayed with me.

It reminded me that confidence isn’t just built through praise. It’s built when children begin to recognise their own persistence, creativity and progress.

So now, alongside “Good job,” I try to describe what I notice.

💛 “You kept going even when it was tricky.”

💛 “You worked really hard on that.”

💛 “You look proud of yourself.”

Those small changes help shift the focus from my evaluation to their experience. Over time, that’s what helps children develop confidence that comes from within.

Because our goal isn’t for children to always need us to tell them they’ve done well. It’s to help them recognise what they’re capable of.

👇 I’d love to know…what’s one parenting phrase you catch yourself saying without even thinking?

It might be “Be careful.”

“Good job.”

“You’re okay.”

Or something completely different.

Tell us in the comments—it might inspire our next reel.

💛 If you’re enjoying these simple shifts in language, follow . Every week we share practical, evidence-informed parenting ideas you can start using today.

“Be careful!”

I still say it.

Usually without even thinking.

But the more I’ve reflected on it, the more I’ve realised that it often tells a child there might be danger without helping them understand what the danger actually is.

Careful of what?

The slippery step?
Their balance?
Where they’re putting their foot?
How high they’ve climbed?

When we can, giving children specific information is much more useful.

Instead of:

“Be careful!”

We might say:

“Check where your foot is going.”

“That step looks slippery.”

“Hold on with both hands.”

“Look where you want to land.”

“Do you feel steady?”

This isn’t about staying silent or letting children take unsafe risks.

It’s about helping them build the skills to notice risk, assess it and make safer choices for themselves.

Because the goal isn’t to remove every risk from childhood. It’s to help our children learn how to navigate it.

And yes, we’ll probably still shout “Be careful!” sometimes.

We’re human. 💜

But when we remember, we can give them information they can actually use.

What do you find yourself saying most often: “Be careful,” “Slow down,” or “Don’t do that”?