Ellie May Maternity

As she puts it so well 👇:

"'In one important sense maternity leave is poorly named, as it involves no actual leave. You are constantly on, even when your offspring is having a nap. There is nothing restful about it. In another sense maternity leave is aptly named, because it’s a period of leave from all you know: taking leave of one’s mind, body, job, and relationships" 🤰🤱

That's why I do what I do...offering to be the much-needed support, physically and emotionally, that parents need in this period of huge change that is bringing a new baby (or babies) into your life 🥰

Pancake Day - or Shrove Tuesday - is a great chance to consider giving some things up for Lent....or forever....🥞

So, here's some ingredients you can bake into your pancake batter and then give up tomorrow!
🥚 "Cry it out" - Babies cry as their primary means of communication before they have words...Your crying baby is trying to tell you something so you by no means need to ignore them until they stop
🧈 "Put your baby down" - Humans are carry mammals so newborn human babies expect to be held...this is where they feel safest. There is no need to put your baby down if you don't want to!
🥣 "Leave them to self-soothe" - Did you know the part of the brain responsible for regulating the body from a heightened state to one of calm, doesn't even really start developing until 3 years old and isn't fully developed until 25! So your little baby...isn't biologically capable of self-soothing. It is perfectly ok that they need your help to calm down!
🧂 "You MUST sleep-train or they'll never learn" - sleep is biological...it isn't something you need to 'train' or 'teach'. Of course, there are things you can do to help their bodies to be ready for sleep and to sleep comfortably...but you don't 'need' to sleep-train
🥛 "You're spoiling them" - You can't spoil a baby...you can be responsive to their needs....but that's necessary while they are so dependent on the adults around them

What else would you like to put in your pancakes and give up? 👇

Dropping out of uni after a term of English Literature, joining to sing on a weekly basis for the last 9 years, discovering and signing up for my Montessori foundation degree and...👇

Signing up to Volunteer at 💜💛

= top 3 decisions of 2016!

The year I really discovered what doing things you love, and finding your people who you can share in loving those things with, can do for your wellbeing 🥰

This is your message that it's ok to keep doing and finding the things you love that are just for you, outside of parenthood or working. Even if in this current period that looks a little different...singing alone in the shower before you can get back to rehearsals for an evening, giving yourself an hour of peace to read at home before you feel ready to return to the book club...🌟

What do YOU do that brings you joy? 🤷‍♀️

Offering spare room for temporary or part-time Lodgers on a daily/nightly rate in North London (N8)...

🌟 Work with families in London but don't live here and fed up of commuting?
🌟 Visiting London for a short period (perhaps a new baby in the family....) and need a base?

I'm offering my spare room on a temporary/part-time basis...mainly Monday-Fridays but can discuss...£40/night! Bargain! 🥳

Feel free to get in touch or share with fellow workers or family members who might be interested! 🌟

Tummy time is the name given to time you dedicate to placing your baby on their tummy...no hidden meaning there 🤷‍♀️

Why? The concept of 'tummy time' evolved in response to the 'Back to Sleep' safe sleep campaign of the 1990's. As parents began to be told to place their babies on their backs for sleep, they inevitable began spending less time actively placing their baby on their tummy...💤

Nowadays babies may also be spending increasing amounts of time in "containers" (bouncers, carseats, buggies etc.) Which also keep them on their backs 🚼

Tummy time is often thought to be a floor activity but it certainly doesn't have to be! While I do utilise floor time this way sometimes too, I also like to use my knees and, as you can see, a yoga ball can also be a great prop! 🏐

Aiming for baby's bum and legs to be in an "M" shape with knees above the level of their bum (imagine how they'd be when held against your chest, all tucked up) is great for finding a more comfortable fit for you and your baby...👐

In this position, baby's spine is supported in a more natural curve so their head rests against you and their neck is more supported 💪

Not all carriers will make this easy (especially certain structured carriers with very narrow bases)...🙈 these can encourage baby's legs to dangle, their back to straighten and their head to be less supported and more able to tip back 🙉

So...if you can, and the carrier allows, you can reach round under baby's bum and tilt their pelvis more towards you, which should naturally bring their knees up, allowing their body to curl in towards you 🥰

There are lots of videos of this "pelvic tilt" available online 💻

You can also reach out to me as a babywearing peer supporter as I'm always happy to help make your babywearing journey as comfortable as possible! 🥳

Standing centre stage knowing you've got a plan in mind (and on paper!)! 🙌🏼

What on Earth is an Infant Feeding Plan, I hear you ask? Well, like any other plan: a birth plan or otherwise, it is what you would ideally like to happen when it comes to your Infant Feeding Journey 🤱🏼🍼

Of course you can plan to simply respond to what feels right in the moment and see how things go. That's always an option. However, if you feel strongly about the feeding journey you'd like with your new baby, a plan is a great way of preparing - both for yourself, your partner, other people in your support system, the birthing team who will be there when baby arrives...Having everyone in the know means you can plan for how things might go to give you and your baby the best chance at a good start to your feeding relationship ✨

As an Infant Feeding Coach, I can help you go through and complete the plan, or you can even create your own - if that's something you feel up to 🤗

Confession time....🤫

I fear the moment anyone expectantly looks at me as we stand by a buggy, needing to unfold or fold it, and the understanding is that I might know how...without getting out my phone and looking up this particular one, from this particular brand, on Youtube....and then re-watching it...again...and again...👩‍🏫

This also applies to Car-seats, anytime I come across a new baby sling....and any form of baby gadget - last week was mum's new breast pump. I always get there...It's just always a good team-building time with the new parents where we can all have a little grizzle and groan at the number of different options there are and 'WHY DO THEY ALL HAVE TO BE SO DIFFERENT?" 🤷

Just me? 👇🏼

...It might also fill you with a little dread as you pictures a full-nights sleep slip further away...😴

So, for now, remember:
👶 Babies wake for reasons other than directly out of hunger (think about all the reasons you yourself wake in the night) but snuggling close to you and sucking on the breast or bottle calms baby and helps send them back to sleep (if nothing else is bothering them that needs rectifying!)
👶 Just like you and I, your baby's body needs a certain amount of calories over 24 hours to keep them satisfied and to grow! If distracted from fuelling up in the daytime, they end up playing catch-up overnight when it's quieter, for a period.
👶 Similarly, daytime separation from you, perhaps if you're back at work or they spend time in other forms of childcare, means they may embrace the night-time to re-connect

Perhaps you can find ways to make these wake-ups as least disruptive to your sleep and theirs as possible. For example, explore laid back or side-lying breastfeeding positions so that you can rest while baby feeds and your little one can access a feed easily even if not fully awake. Keep lights low and interactions minimal during these feeds. If they're in a separate room, a floor bed can help make feeds as least disruptive as possible as you can feed next to them laid down and even sleep there for this period of increased connection need! 🛏

Of course, disrupted sleep is hard on our bodies and beyond, so get the support you need: from friends, family or professional help so you can pass on some of the load! 🤝

If your baby's night waking is becoming a real struggle for you and your family, please find support, even just for some respite. Sometimes the reason baby wakes or is harder to settle, even with a feed, may need more exploration. You know your baby best. And you're doing great 🥰

You may not need regular or even ad-hoc support with your newborn but just a little guidance and confidence-boosting around managing feeding and sleep with your new arrival! 🤱

As a certified Infant Feeding Coach and certified holistic sleep coach, I can support you with specific or general concerns, taking detailed background information about you and your baby, and analysing possible causes and solutions that might help your situation in a way that fully acknowledges socially and biologically normal infant behaviour and your families unique circumstances 👶

You can contact me for an initial FREE 15-minute call to discuss the general concerns you have and my approach to see if we're a good fit and then choose whether to proceed with virtual (over-the-phone or video call) or in-person support 🤝

All the details about different options are on my website in my bio!

I look forward to hearing from you! 📧

Here is a little list of suggestions for things to keep in your 'going out' bag (often referred to as a nappy bag or changing bag). As a Newborn Care Specialist one of the tasks I put on my list each day is to check the nappy bag is stocked up (and even then...I've managed to be caught short) 🎒

👶🏼 Nappies - you decide how many but never just take 1...that will be the day your baby needs 2 changed in the hour you decide to go to the shops
👶🏼 Changing mat - while lots of public places have changing facilities and those will often have a changing table available (often a clever thing you pull down from the wall and then fold back up afterwards) but there's lots of easy, foldable options you can keep in your bag as back up!
👶🏼 Wipes - not just for nappy changes either! They're just a great on-the-go cleaning option!
👶🏼 Muslin (or 2) - as substitute wipe, burp cloth etc.
👶🏼 Mini nappy cream - there are lots of great portable versions of products you may usuaully use when changing your little one, so never a bad idea to have that tucked away!
👶🏼 Spare clothes - I always ensure there's at least one full outfit (layers are weather dependent but as I write this, it's April and I am normally packing: 1 short-sleeved vest, a long-sleeved top/onesie, pair of leggings, socks, bib, a jumper/cardigan
👶🏼Feeding necessities - if breastfeeding, you might not need anything but if bottle-feeding (expressed breastmilk or formula) have a bottle of breastmilk or the necessary scoops of formula (in a separate container) you can use to make formula up with freshly boiled water
👶🏼 Any snacks or drinks you need! Don't forget to look after yourself!
👶🏼 A book....because I never go anywhere without one...and you could end up parked in a cafe while baby has a buggy nap!

Have I forgotten anything?....Probably! 🤷‍♀️

So... should you? Well... consider the following 👇

🍼🤱 How's their weight? If they're very new-born, have they regained their birth weight?
🍼🤱 How long has it been since they last fed? I normally go by wake after 3 hours if they haven't woken themselves, and offer them food....
🍼🤱 Is it likely that if they don't feed enough in the day, they'll simply play catch up tonight?
🍼🤱 How do they seem? Could they be a bit under the weather? Maybe sleep is a priority so their body can rest and recover? Maybe, you tried to wake them but they weren't interested in your offer of milk...you can't force them! So leave them to snooze. It's clearly a priority (unless concerned otherwise re weight and feeding)
🍼🤱 How have their nappies been? Do you think they've eaten and drunk enough so far today?
🍼🤱 Are you really hoping they sleep at a particular point today...like...on the school run? Could waking them now make this more likely in an hour or 2?
🍼🤱Might offering a "dream feed" (a feed when they're still sleeping/half asleep) mean they are sufficiently fuelled to not need another at a less optimal time i.e. 2 in the morning?
🍼🤱 Remember, twins are 2 individuals: one may have a bigger appetite than the other, be more reliant on sucking to soothe than the other, be easier to settle than the other....So while you can always offer them to wake together, feed together etc., you can't force one baby to be what they're not, so if they don't want to eat, or do want to sleep more...perhaps just let them

So, you see, it's not quite a yes or no situation....but more of a here and now situation. Your baby, your day, your parenting and your own judgement 🤷🥰

Of course, if you're concerned about how much your baby is sleeping, or they aren't waking for feeds or accepting food when woken, seek out support - Midwife, GP, Infant Feeding support...

Back in December 2023, I was helping a mum with her newborn and shared this morning routine:

🌟 7:30 Get in and welcome the toddler to a new day. Mum joins us with baby.
🌟 8:00 I change baby's nappy before mum breastfeeds her. Time for my 2nd cup of tea of the morning and toddler play time!
🌟 8:30 Wash time for baby! Monday and Friday are bath day. Other days, a top and tail. Fresh clothes!
🌟 9:00 sometimes baby needs a bottle top-up before: first nap! On the sling goes.
Time to: empty and refill dishwasher, soak bottles etc., tidy, wash and steralise bottles, laundry, check nappy bag and changing station are fully stocked, sit down for a bit
🌟 11:00 time for a nappy change and feed of expressed milk (if she's had a bad night or is under the weather, mum and I would talk about what baby needs more - sleep or food!)
🌟 11:30(ish) Awake time: uninterrupted on her mat (play or changing) to look around and explore her own body sensations, tummy time, singing, chatting
🌟 12:00-12:30 baby is normally getting tired again so time to either pop in the sling, pass to mum for sleepy cuddles or pop in the bassinet to settle for another sleep!

Just over a year later and I'm spending 3/5 days with Newborn twins of the same age! Our 'routine' is different as there are 2 individual babies and every family is different!
👶🏼 I greet mum, babies and 2-year old in the kitchen and find out when each baby last ate/slept/had a nappy change and go from there
👶🏼 I respond to the 2 individual babies...often that means one is sleeping while i feed, cuddle, do some tummy time etc. with the other!
👶🏼 Throughout the day, they may catch up with each other and end up snoozing together
👶🏼 Whenever the babies are happy and settled, either in their bassinet or in a sling...I make sure bottles are washed and steralised, empty and reload the dishwasher, sort laundry, chat to their mum or enjoy the contact nap newborn snuggles, often mum and I with a baby each
(👶🏼 The parents do bath time with the babies and toddler in the evening)

This week focuses on encouraging us to remember that even our tiniest humans, and as they grow throughout childhood, have emotional and psychological needs that, when met, can do wonders for their overall well-being 🌟

Babies and young children can feel stress and overwhelm and anxiety and we, as the grown-ups in their lives, can help them to understand and regulate these emotions, and feel safe and cared for 🥰🤱

I say it often but we humans are carry mammals, designed to keep our young close to keep them fed (and safe from wild animals...). We also birth our babies at a very immature stage of their development compared to other mammals (all because, at some point, our ancestors prioritised walking on 2 legs rather than 4 and our babies have big heads)....🙉🤰

Believe it or not, babies independence develops from this early dependence - the more we respond to them, keep them safe and hold them close, the braver they feel to step away when they're ready 🥳