01/09/2026
Here's our personal story of DCD (dyspraxia) and ASC, in case it helps others know what might help and encourage you on a tough day.
DCD (dyspraxia) is something our youngest was diagnosed with aged 5 in 2019! He's affected by it daily, in countless invisible ways. I first wrote this in 2021, but I update it regularly, when we discover something new about DCD to share. We hope it helps build optimism for all parents of children with DCD.
In 2021 Dyspraxia or DCD (developmental co-ordination disorder) was said to affect 5% of us, officially, but experts thought this may be more. In 2025 UK newspapers reported DCD is chronically under diagnosed, as common as adhd, said the Independent. We are all learning that neurodivergent thinkers are common and it's a lot more than 5% of the population, if that figure is just dcd and adhd. Even allowing for overlapping diagnoses, it must surely be 1/5th or more of us? The stigma is lessening, we hope, and understanding is increasing...Let us share everything we did, in case even a slither helps you or your child.
Boys, medics said, are more likely to be in the more severely impacted end of DCD. Whether this is due to finding girls less severely impaired in fine motor skill is unclear; the research leaps yearly. We are not experts. We are parents. We can only share what we have been told, whilst knowing each individual child with dcd is very different.
Simply put, DCD is a neuro disability where the brain wiring is less typical so a person can find:
- the brain sends signals to their limbs on delay
- the brain mis-signals left/ right or the ordering of movement needed to complete a physical task/ dance/ sport move/ learning assignment
- hypermobility where fingers / limbs bend more than typical and struggle to resist external push / pull making every day actions like pencil grip, buttons, tin openers, rugby boots a real challenge
- in some people it can impact executive functions, such as planning an essay structure or how they order words when they speak
- in some people, DCD can sit beside an additional diagnosis like dyslexia, ADHD/ autism. Many dyspraxics with ADHD/ ADD can have the second diagnosis missed, because distractibility from body fatigue is so common in dyspraxia, it is difficult to see whether ADD/ ADHD is additionally there or not. (Omega 3 oil can help a little, daily, to combat distractibility to a degree. It also aids constipation- also common in DCD children because intestines get squashed if you have a weak core).
Our child was diagnosed aged 5, solely with dyspraxia. I was told getting the diagnosis would be tough; it would have to come from a paediatric developmental consultant in NHS to be ehcp worthy and that the first step to getting an appt and referral would be a report from an occupational health therapist, but this could be private to speed up referral. We now know he also has ASC; his quirky, chatty, sunny disposition meant this was missed til he was 8. Overnight, it seemed, he became a bit more inflexible than we had noticed about food and play, and an Ed Psych mentioned it when visiting his class. Prior to that, we just thought he had dyspraxia and nursery staff told us they thought he had dcd and his reception teacher thought the same. We applied for an ehcp, for extra SEND funding and had this confirmed by July of Reception, which was unusual.
Early DCD warning signs were poor balance; inability to catch balls commensurate with his peers; regular injuries; +8 glasses to treat long sightedness (poor eyesight in the 30cm-2m range can often sit next to DCD). He could not hop/ jump as was expected aged 4 and was a slightly delayed crawler and walker. Very often he misjudged distance/ height depth meaning he slipped on stairs, bumped into peers/ doorframes/ furniture and had trouble with scissors, early handwriting and cutlery due to hypermobility in his fingers. His lack of upper body strength meant climbing frames were out and sliding out of seats was common. A lot of these issues have hugely improved over years of OT and interventions.
If, like our child, one's DCD has not impacted cognition or executive function heavily, it is possible to be an academic high flier, social and even thrive in some of the more repetitive sports like swimming. Asthma and fatigue are very common with DCD. Estimates suggest youngsters can get 5x more tired than their peers, through the physical effort of daily life: play; walking; stair navigating (you would barely believe how the different tread depth or stair height confuses DCD youngsters); sitting upright in chairs / on school hall floors for assembly. Weak core strength alongside confusing, slow brain signalling make navigating the day more tiring. And it is always worst around the end of term or mid growth spurt. Our child was 5ft 5 by aged 12, with UK size 7.5 feet, the growth spurts definitely bring extra temporary bumps. As he started y7, he repeatedly fell over on the way to school after a month and it was likely fatigue of a larger site and longer journey. He had 3 new thigh bruises a week from bumping into new furniture layouts in class.
His journey started off scarily; had we known how well he would do by mid ks2, we could have saved on parent anxiety. Successful SEND kids are the ones with self belief and practical, resilient supporters. My teaching, behaviour management and training background meant I was already a Carol Dweck fan. She is a leadership scholar who believes in growth mindset, the power of persevering through challenges and discomfort and she has written books for teachers and parents. I rediscovered her when our youngest was diagnosed. Families are hugely positive influences in personal grit and building confidence for kids. We had to find areas not impacted by DCD to build confidence first, like his academics and drama. Then we just kept at it. Our son is academic and we supported that with lots of reading and extra homework, at times. I won't fib about that. Schools are often experienced, by kids, as full of sports tribes, bright tribes and arty tribes. He was never going to be great at fine art or sport, so we ran full tilt with developing the rest. If dcd kids find some things in school hard, we decided we'd optimise the things he *could do* to boost his self image. He enjoys learning still, happily collected merits like confetti in y7 for his hard work. Our work meant we helped him find that side of school easier, earlier; now he just runs with it himself.
We also boosted him in swimming, drama and, for a time, climbing and riding. Any sport that strengthens core but does not include catching or throwing are helpful to getting more stability. Our family has had to show up and find grit in spades. It's contagious for him, despite DCD making PE and sports day tricky!
At 5, he tripped over thin air in his reception classroom and tore his septum. He needed facial surgery under general anaesthetic, because he was unable to sit still under local anaesthetic. It was July. End of year fatigue contributed to make him extra clumsy. School were suggesting ehcp funds were needed; the accident, though horrible for him, helped our case.
DCD youngsters relearn where limbs start and end every time they grow; it peaks in primary and in sudden adolescent growth spurts then stabilises. It's alarming to see them through a period of fewer accidents, only to suddenly see lots of falls down staircases or more serious injuries. One of the frustrating things for anyone with DCD is that when they know they are falling, the brain often will not signal to their hands to break their fall quickly enough. Facial injuries like bruising, gashes, scratches are common. This also decreases!
Our youngest has a ferocious memory and capacity for maths, reading, fact recall. His interest in history is enormous; his reading age at 9 was 14+ years. His spelling age was similar and he whizzed through math from later in ks2 from y4. He passed grammar exams, but we had this one ND friendly private school in mind. We wanted a soft ramp into high school with staff very aware of ND and smaller classes. It was fee paying; we gulped, but took the plunge.
His self awareness - we're always building. In y7 his peers openly spoke about all their diagnoses, so much so he came home begging for a test in something *just to check*. We had a chat that diagnoses are not scout badges to collect, but there because people really need them to know how to get their needs met. I'd say it was lovely, though, that they were all just swapping their diagnoses and being so open about their brain differences.
He understands his dyspraxia and sees it like a pal having hayfever. It is just his biology, we said. Yes, he is differently able, but he has super powers and could advocate persuasively for anything! Sometimes he can talk us to death and increasingly can catch a ball. He's tall and is getting better at shooting basketball hoops so he has plenty of strengths and more developing. He has a few close pals who, along with their parents, actively support him. Love those cheerleaders, they are gold!
He called himself a *fantastic dyspraxic* in his younger years. He rather proudly cited Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) as a fellow DCD role model.
His state primary school created access arrangements for academic assessments like rest or movement breaks and extra time.
Like most SEND parents, we spent years acquiring a firm understanding of where our child might be most challenged and how to empower him. Dcd sector knowledge is growing, but it's not as well understood as dyslexia or adhd and terribly difficult to get a diagnosis in, still.
Sometimes we butted heads with him. Building any child's grit means saying no, sometimes, challenging them to do things themselves and persevere til they can. We decided, despite his diagnoses, sometimes we would still need to do that with him too. If all we did was sympathise, he'd never enjoy that feeling of overcoming something and learning that he can do things after all. Competence is confidence. It would be easy, with the best intentions to become over protective and not correct him ever. Some of my SEND clients see over time that this doesn't always help their family dynamic or their child, however naturally instinctive. We remind ourselves all kids need correcting or stretching. The world may be more aware of ND, but he needs to know his impact on others to give and take socially. He also needs to become self advocating. He takes his cues of what's normal support to expect from us, at home.
Family homes are test labs; largely, we teach resilience except on the days when only snuggles will do. We make errors, he makes errors. *Growing up is for messing up,* we chant. *Mistakes are how we learn*. You can't do it *yet*.
Obviously, with a risk of head injury during growth spurts/ tired periods, the ehcp funded a 1:1 Learning Support Assistant in ks1, and for certain lessons in early ks2. We were not keen he was velcro-ed to an LSA longer than wholly necessary, it can decrease independence and isolate youngsters, who wish to play with others but not be so closely supervised. His LSA was lighter touch in y3 and assisted the whole class as a TLA. By y4 he did not have one. Young peers evaluate each other swiftly age 8+, so we had social bumps too... on we went.
His handwriting was a mess until end of y2. Though legible and more uniform by y3, he needed single spaced lined paper to guide him. By y5 he wrote semi cursively at the same speed as peers. We took the win!
We overcame the dysgraphia, on the whole, (difficulty with the physical act of writing and shaping letters/ maths symbols) by family input. After 5-10 minutes over breakfast in year 1, for 12 months daily, with the Write from the Start scheme by Ion Teodorescu. That's a slow game changer parents can do at home for 10 minutes a day. Slow is the word! We saw no gains in 8 months! Even devoted parents need to see some gains! I am told most of that 8 months is building hand stamina to push/ pull the hand and pencil through all the movements you need to form *any* letter or digit he needs. Finally, the output improved on paper. And this was in the pandemic during home school periods, so the stars aligned in that we could do it daily and often. By y2, he could write! It tested my patience; I often felt close to giving up. If you love them, you dig in then on you go. Of course, it may for some, be worth looking into voice activated software and tech. This was our experience and we would have pursued that tech, had the write from the start scheme not worked. We felt his confidence grew by what he could persevere to do that peers did. It was tough watching him struggle, aged 5, with things others can do easily. We all gained grit from that and other challenges along the way tested us again and gave us more grit.
He had occupational therapy from aged 4 and a half with an OT we funded until the ehcp funding covered it. All those OT sessions, in turn, were used to train up our child's ks1 LSA to offer him OT sessions daily. The therapy went on in ks2 and covered everything from strengthening muscles, core, spatial awareness, balance, focus, alertness to rehearsing zips, buttons, scissors, cutlery to - later- cooking utensils. It helps build independence and helps him to do what his peers often do on auto pilot.
We were given a long list, as parents, of things to not expect our child to learn to do. But we were committed optimists, whilst terrified by the bluntness of lots of professionals giving us bad news in world weary ways that lacked any empathy for us hearing it the first time about own child. Fortunately, we also met lots of brilliant helpers who just advised us to try learning something in a different way. As a family, we prefer to think he just can't do it YET and maybe there's a way, for most things? YET is a word for optimists- it cuts through doubts.
Ball and racquet sports are challenging, even now. Repetitive sports like climbing or martial arts are fine. He attacks PE classes and joins in everything from hockey to rugby to basketball, he doesn't ever sit out though it can bash his confidence if coaches forget to praise his effort. Schools, if they forget, are quick to boost him after a nudge. His outcomes are never like the A squad sports team's, but his effort is huge. He often got the primary school sportsmanship award in ks2- he said himself it was *because I grin when I am last at sports day*. Last in cross country every year, in ks2, we ran the last leg beside him with the dog, if permitted. He stayed sunny when others would have folded their arms and sat out.
We found specialist SEND swim instructors and horse riding instructors, so he could ride and he learned to swim. The 500m badge day and the 50m butterfly sprints were big celebration days, hard won. He is diving, now, and a term off being placed in the advanced group by his swim coach. (We are still working on a 2 wheel bicycle and have parked that. We have to manage our energy as parents as much as his. Clearing hurdles gets busy!)
His bedroom furniture and our living room furniture were, for years, set up in large L shapes across 2 walls. The intention was to give him a bruise free clearer pathway to the door, rather than have him navigate hurdles unnecessarily, particularly when tired. It wasn't needed by ks2.
DCD brings added expenses. As a family, we bought a trampoline, OT equipment, a dog (seriously therapeutic for a child sometimes too tired to play), special cutlery, slope boards, (no longer needed for writing, but super useful for 18 months in ks1). The specialist instructors cost a fair amount too. This was funded through the Child's Disability Living Allowance. It is one benefit not means tested; we suppose any civilised society wants to help youngsters, with a disability, to reduce the help he may need later. The funding is for his interventions. It is reviewed at each key stage end, after the first year and you may not need it indefinitely. We gave it up in y6, when we finally felt he was stable and the last pieces like ties, laces and cooking would come with family helping, because everything else had. We began to trust ourselves.
Sector knowledge about DCD is rapidly gaining. It turns out that his repeated glue ear, under 5 and under 2, was treated with antibiotics, which impede enamel strength for life! Shockingly even that is DCD linked! Antibiotics early in infanthood damage our natural capacity to strengthen enamel indefinitely. At 9, he had miniscule chips and cavities in 2 teeth, but was unable to sit still enough for our usual dentist to extract or fill them. Instead, we had to find an SEND dentist and used Happy Kids Dental in Westminster or Wimbledon... highly recommended!
A UCL neuro paediatrician was also his private dental surgeon. She explained normal toothpaste was insufficient for DCD kids and he would need 2 strengthening dental varnish treatments a year and more regular dental check ups than us. Why? He has a good diet and never has fizzy drinks. Yet another jigsaw piece answered! DCD kids can often be beset by ear infections in early years, linked to jaw movement, and that in turn means early, repeated antibiotics which impacts tooth enamel for life.. so we learn new facts! But, DCD dyspraxia -wow- it really impacts more widely than you would think.
Aged 9, in y5, he was such a wonder, it was time to give up that ehcp funding. What a day for us all. The progress arc was celebrated! School, we, the local authority felt it. One cannot, we could not, in good conscience accept ehcp funding to access the curriculum, when as a child he was exceeding in 3 areas, and was at age expected standard in the rest bar two. He only needed help in PE and DT. The cessation letter from the council noted his remarkable achievements and how noteworthy it was to be exceeding in the curriculum. We kept that. It was a proud day before his 10th birthday.
We finished 11+ season, the mission focus was an ND friendly school with a peer and staff group aware and fully supportive of ND and bright, quirky kids. We found our best fit place for him, we originally thought (plot twist coming!). He was offered a grammar place too, and we were so proud of him for punching so high after so many doubts, cross sector, from his start point. It really felt like a triumph of his outlook and the family's, just to get the offer- but we turned it down!
We chose his first secondary school for y7 because its SEND dept's reputation was exceptional. The school also had groups of 8 for DT; it was the first time he didn't need so much help because the ratio worked in his favour. Of course, it was private and we were spending our savings and fretting, but we would have fretted more if he was anxious and in the wrong place. We know not everyone can have that option, it saddens us those options don't exist for bright kids with send in smaller state ran schools. Small = belonging and confidence because staff are more abundant. And we were lucky we found a school where him being last on the rugby pitch, for needing help for a half term getting his laceless rugby boots on was well understood. He was in school shows; well helped in pe and dt and put his all into everything! We wish we could replicate that y7 start for all youngsters. Socially, he was too ahead academically to thrive within classes as he would like. His skills and love of learning drew attention from some peers trying, as youngsters do, to feel better by doing others down. He was upbeat and positive daily, but signalled he'd prefer a more academic place after all. I worried we made the wrong turn, but he had needed that slow ramp and help putting rugby shoes on. It is just typical with ND kids that what they need at the time changes as they do. So, we were right behind him; he articulated why he was seeking a change and his teachers suggested they could understand his perspective, whilst keen he stayed. His school sent him off with plaudits for his academics, a lovely reference and lunch with the principal including card games and a gift.
There may still be new bruises weekly; however far he progresses he is still double diagnosed and though the impact is smaller- it is still there. Y8 dawned and we moved him to a more academic school, still full of ND kids, but led by an ex grammar head. It isstill fee paying (we are still gulping) and 20 min further on the train, but he is thrilled. He will find the journey longer, but he is stronger and wanted the move to find his more academic tribe.
As he enters y8, we can see no falls for a month or 1-3 bumps per week. He sleeps 9 hours minimum; he spends an extra 30-90 minutes reading, nightly, just to give his body time to stretch out for the next day. Dcd creates fatigue and fatigue creates accidents and injury. Rest, even as an adult, will be as important as strength conditioning.
He gives the best hugs and has the biggest grin. He is bossy, hilarious, creative, bright, cuddly, kind and he could talk under water. He knows his strengths are academic, swimming and drama and nothing tool based!When he might need help he will ask. We gained confidence too, so now definitely we say yes more than no, and avoid saying things like, 'Don't jump/ run, Slow down or Be careful' - it is no way to live a life.
Presently, he loves drama, singing, Strictly Come Dancing, friends, Traitors, Gladiators, his dog, scouts, swimming. The next hurdles are having him tie his own tie by end of y8... and in a few years... mastering cooking for himself before Uni and a tin opener!
That ehcp funding really needed to go to someone else and we are so happy it does. He may always need some modifications in PE or DT, but he's a child who got to where he needed to be, for the next stage of his journey. The early help paid off and I wish we would have had a crystal ball to know it would work out. The not knowing it will be OK is awful for SEND parents, isn't it? I wish the world understood that most for parents. We can be seen as anxious or demanding, but actually we are advocating our hearts out and we are grateful, but we are also very tired of advocating. An send parent journey can feel bewildering for parents and has quite a heavy worry load.
It always seems impossible, til it is done; I say this to my parent clients, often at the end of their tethers. It can be tough on us, but when you see them fly... and you can all be less anxious and stressed... it is always worth the effort of empowering them all along and building self belief from the get go. Go well; if you can - go early even better. Mel x
Ps. The post is written so you can copy, edit and send to whoever you need to explain your child's condition to- particularly teachers.
Pps. Why fish oil supplements really help DCD youngsters: https://dm-ed.com/news/nutrition-dyslexia-what-works/
