11/10/2022
LET’S TALK ANXIETY + INCESSANT HEAD CHATTER
This is my fabulous & gorgeous friend Rochelle.
On the surface all looks great. I adore her, currently don’t see her as often as I’d like as we’re geographically parted, yet super thrilled I know her, she lights up my soul.
This is me from 2021/2022 talking..
Yet me 2004-2016 🤮this friendship would not have been given the time from me to grow. I would have hidden.
There are a few friends in my life now that I adore, they are my soul tribe! Yet, for most of my life I wouldn’t have entertained the friendships, as I felt:
• inadequate
• broken
• not enough yet
• too poor
• not successful
• looked like a money failure as I was in debt due to family obligations
• my body was unpredictable- I felt shame
• I was in so much physical pain I felt I was broken
• & I worried I’d be found out..
… I don’t know what I thought I’d be found out as, as I had nothing to hide, yet possibly it was a shame that went back to how my father walked out on us. If my dad could walk away from me, who gave me life, of course anybody could right?
⬆️ THIS?! WAS ALL MY HEAD CHATTER!!
Oh yes & why not throw in the fear that my dad would see me in the street one day with my friends & say I was an awful person in front of them.
It was all story. It meant my adrenals got so jacked up from the drama that I once had test results where they asked if I had been on a sh*t tonne of class A’s as my body was so jacked up with trauma & fight/ flight. Spoiler, I’ve never taken drugs.
So what did that mean? I was surrounded by people who were drama, so when fabulous people came along my head chatter told me to not engage.
Then one day I met a friend who kept trying to nurture a connection & I allowed it. I realised things had to change. She then worked for my company to support the vision, & then supported me at my mum’s funeral. The other “drama” friends didn’t turn up as I could no longer make their drama’s the centre of my world as I had one of my own. Funnily enough I’ve not heard from them since.
Are you ready to remove the story/ anxiety/ head chatter? Sign up to my free workshop on [email protected] Self Mastery. Link to register: https://www.subscribepage.com/v0m6n1