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Dìon, Kirkhamgate (2026)

19/10/2022

Object permanence 🙈 vs demand avoidance 🚫

Following on from my earlier post I thought I'd explore another avenue of demand avoidance. And I would say this one is a personal battle too do being my own detective 🕵️
I will also add here that there is no magic fix for these personality traits but what I have noticed is the more you explore, the more you unpick, the self acceptance surfaces and work around can be implemented so stop the self battles and flip that script to I can't do it... YET! ✅
In our coaching sessions we can look at these current bumps in the road and work on simple solutions to change your family dynamics.
I'll briefly explain the two traits and again look at possible crossover.
Object permanence or object blindness is a common ADHD trait where if you can't see it, it doesn't exist. So you'll likely forget about things in cupboards (ie there is a door that stops you seeing it) forgetting a job or task in another room (physical distance) or forgetting you've bought something super useful but never having it to hand (loyalty card not in your purse).

Demand avoidance is where one is unable to complete a task (mostly anxiety based but not always) demands may simple "hang your coat and peg on your peg and go wash your hands". In one simple statement you have in fact put 3 demands on that child. You may find as an adult there are jobs or tasks you just cannot bring yourself to do but being in control of your actions you brush it off.

And this is where my personal cross over is - I really struggle to put objects away. I always thought it was because there were objects in front of the door (see previous sentence 🙈) or the cupboard /storage space wasn't organised and it was too overwhelming to carry the task through. But over the past few months I've work really hard on clearer storage solutions so I know that my problem definitely doesn't lie there. Following through putting the shopping away, putting laundry away, putting craft items away, it's the biggest challenge for me. Every part of my body just wants to leave it, like its one job too many.

There are work around however! Message me to find out more 💕

19/10/2022

Sensory Processing Disorder 👀 vs demand avoidance 🚫

In a 121 session we could discuss and unpick the whys as to why yourself or a family member often fails to complete a task. We can discuss the can't /won't of a situation and where the block originates.

For now I will overview SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and Demand avoidance both ODD and PDA briefly and see how both issues can and are linked and how this can impact what seems normal day to day jobs.

Sensory Processing Disorder is when the signals from the senses are under or over active and thus send a confused or different message to the brain.
There are 5 external senses - touch 🤲, sight👁️, taste👅, hearing🦻 and smell👃.
There are 3internal senses -vestibular 🏄 balance, proprioceptive 🤸 movement and interoceptive 🥵🥶 internal regulation.
Someone with SPD may not feel the sensations as much - seeker - seeks crunchy food, strong tasting food, loud music, bright lights, weighted blankets OR they may over feel it - avoider - likes dim lights, low noises, clothes can be itchy, not knowing when to go to the toilet or when they are hungry /thirsty.
These are just a few examples and not ever sense will be under or over they can be mixed.

Demand avoidance. This is a lot broader than a one off post but most neurotypicals will show a certain level of demand avoidance. They could complete all tasks given by an authoritive figure (teacher) but then be unable to complete set tasks at home in a safe environment. Some may always say no to and demand as an instant response but then be able to respond to the demand/instruction once they've had time to process the request. This behaviour is typically described as ODD oppositional defiant disorder.
Some children may refuse to commit to a demand, like an outing because of the anxiety of the transition rather than a can't go out.
Other autistic profiles can present as PDA - Pathological Demand Avoidance where nearly any demand will be met with a clear no. The intensity of putting even a simple demand on someone with PDA would be like me asking you to put your hand in burning hot oil, you just couldn't or won't do it.

If we take the example of going to the park with your child. Your child knows the park, the child is comfortable and understands what's expected of them at the park. They've been looking forward to it all week. And now is the day to go to the park and they don't want to go. Is this demand avoidance? Is this a Sensory issue? Likely its both. Anxiety has kicked in about the transition of leaving the safety of home to unknown temperatures outside. They may not have completed the last task and not mentally ready to move on. They may not want to get cold getting changed (or hot by putting clothes on), a label maybe itchy or the idea of shoes are too bulky. So what may seem a direct avoidance actually could be a mix of Sensory issues and anxiety.

Please message to book an appointment to see how we could discuss this more if it relates!

06/10/2022

🌀Run the dishwasher twice🌀

What does this mean and what could it look like for you?

You may have heard of this phrase before on neurodivergent support pages and will often be accompanied by a picture with a dishwasher filled to the brim. The idea is - strike whilst the iron is hot ⚡get the jobs done when you have the time/space/energy to sort it out, so if it means shoving everything in the dishwasher and hoping for the best and worst case scenario you run the dishwasher again is an amazing idea to try and maintain a house and reduce the overwhelm.

But what does this look like for you?

For me it's putting the dishwasher on daily even if it's not full to the brim (as pictured) I know it keeps the dishwasher water tank from getting funky as well as a supply of clean utensils.

For you it could be:

🌀Putting half loads in the washing machine (or doing laundry in one whole day)
🌀Hanging out half of the laundry to dry and tumble drying the other half
🌀Cleaning the surfaces as one job and cleaning the floor as another
🌀Changing the bed and washing the sheets as a separate job
🌀Letting a robot hoover clear the floor (if you are lucky!)
🌀Hoover all the floors (and surfaces)
🌀Containing a small part of room and keeping that organised
🌀Get jobs handed off to others

🌀Load the dishwasher twice🌀

06/10/2022

How do get going when life gets in the way and stops you in your tracks?
Those with ADHD can suffer with a term known as object permanence, put simply, where things just don't exsist if you can't see them or they become blind when they remain in the same place.
Once you are aware of these issues you can start making your own adjustments. I know that sticking a post it note somewhere to remind me will have very short term effect. So whilst I use note systems I recognise when they are no longer working - as in I know longer see them then I re write them. Different colours, different words. I've recently bought new pens too and practiced playing about with fonts and colouring of my notes so I've been able to make things look a bit smarter.

I have also devised (or working on) a physical tool box for my daughter (think crystals, notes, breathing exercises, basic Reminders of all the self help options she can access at any time in her life) and I thought - why don't I make my own? So I've made tactile salt dough 'cookies' infused with lemon, Cacao and supervital powder. I've dried lemon too as another visual sensory connection.

What could you make to connect your senses to areas you could see need improvement?

06/10/2022

Another grey October day - accept today is the day before my youngest sons birthday. And the sun did shine a little.

It's been a complex few years with ups and downs. But I wanted to share a little of our experience to show that we all have a journey and how what I've learnt and lived has shaped the way I can support you.

Over the past year and a half (classic adhd unrequired back story incoming!) I have been cold/outdoor water swimming (happy to take you if you fancy - it's absolutely amazing and will share more on it) and it has really allowed me be so much more in tune with nature. Watch the sun rises and sunset times, know the moon in its cycle as well as feel the fundamental changes in the air. It's made me realise how amazing a whole year around the sun really is, and an amazing marker of our success and resilience and what we've over come. And it is now my go-to way of celebrating the milestones in my life. Last year on the eve of his birthday I found myself on an absolute high of swimming with the bats and I think one of my first really dark dips too. This year I've come earlier in the grey and really been able to let it all go - the hard times, the struggles the guilt that goes into day life of raising a very distressed autistic boy.
Every day as parents we have to make these judgement calls - to meet their needs, our needs, societies needs - I do know that I'll feel confident in reflection and saying I tried my best and gave it my all. And for now that's all I can do.
Happy sweet birthday my darling boy 🎉🎂🎉

06/10/2022

Current view 🌱

Drop a 💚 if you want to be here right now!

One of the differences I wanted to bring to Dìon Coaching is the use of outdoors. It's like a 2 for the price of 1. You get to talk and discuss what's on your mind, reflect on how you could change the direction, get feedback from me around other points if aceess or support for your children and get the healing power of the outdoors too.
Services offered:
💚121 support for your neurodiverse family (no need for diagnosis - in fact I'd actively encourage early intervention
💚In person sessions - preferably outdoors but could come to you with expenses
💚Forest bathing sessions (small groups)
💚Meditation as part of the coaching support to help reset
💚 Holding space for you without judgement
💚Text/email/zoom options available to meet your needs

💚

04/10/2022

Really interesting this has come up as recently I went to a talk from 2 members of an autism unit and they presented us the presentation they are rolling out to schools.
They gave an example of over coming sensory issues of you can find the right avenue. This example was to make crumble Topping and the avenue was Mum couldn't wait to try this crumble. And I sat there whilst they were speaking and thought.. Why didn't you just offer him a spoon? Or gloves? I know some teachers have the best of intentions sometimes but I do think they need to gently, with love and grace, remove themselves from their high horse and come back down. They don't need to appear to have super hero powers of our children. Just listen and meet their needs.

Is that really so hard to understand?

Credit Tony Attwood

04/10/2022

Just thought I'd do a huge shout out to re-usable colouring mats which I've bought for both children. They've been an absolute life saver at appointments kept them both entertained. Quick and easy to store and fold away when the doctor calls too and something that is quite easy for the child to carry into an appointment too which gives them a bit of an ice breaker and starting point too.
Depending on the service neurodiverse assessments can be an hour or up to 3 via CAMHs so definitely need something to keep them safe, contained and secure.
And who doesn't love colouring?

I think the best part about these for neurodiverse people is as they are wipe clean there is no pressure for perfection. You can get as creative as you like and go again. Make a mistake? Rub it out and try again 😁✨

20/09/2022

I'm so excited! Current hyper focus /dopamine hit incoming!
Living with adhd or managing adhd style living traits is all one of navigation and finding what works for you. A lot of my issues arise from object permanence - how you see (or don't see) an object.
Put something away in a drawer - you don't see it, it doesn't exist so I am looking at ways in which I can make the invisible visible whilst having a home for objects too.
I got different coloured ribbons to make everything a bit prettier too - lean in on what you like. If you like simple, keep it simple, remove the choice, if you like busy go busy..
All fingers crossed this keeps this neurodiverse brain of mine focused for a little while!

11/09/2022

🌾✨🌝Sunday intention setting🌝✨🌾
With the close of summer drawing around I think it's important to take some time to reflect but look forward too.
Whether it's for the day, the week, the month the season it's good to note your feelings as well as goals - no matter how small the goals may seem.
Also look at how to celebrate the wins - no matter how silly this may feel, progress is progress recognise the difference you've made in that space and time.
Charge your crystals and harness the power, wear something nice, drink a soothing cacao and take some time for yourself today to recharge ✨

26/03/2022

💜💜 World epilepsy day 💜💜
Let's paint the world purple to help raise awareness 😊

Dìon

19/10/2022

19/10/2022

06/10/2022

06/10/2022

06/10/2022

06/10/2022

04/10/2022

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20/09/2022

11/09/2022

26/03/2022

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