Dolly Communication

Dolly the autonomous Horse Post 5

On her toes.

Dolly was such a calm horse. A brood mare brought into the riding school. Alert to every aid and beautifully responsive. When I bought her, I was warned “now it will get personal.” I didn’t understand. I asked for an explanation and was met with “you’ll see”.
I rode Dolly for nearly a year before I found out what they meant.
I had so much happening in my life. I was worried about work, money, the future. My release was riding Dolly. I rode her every day and loved every minute, but lately she had become less willing.
People laughed when I said Dolly had been “on her toes.” “Dolly? Springy?” they said. “Never”
She was, but no-one was around to see.
She was carrying my stress — all of it. The money worries, the job worries, the life worries. She wasn't carrying my body. She was carrying my emotional state.
She wasn’t reacting to the world. She was reacting to me.
I didn’t know then that horses don’t just mirror our hands and legs. They notice far more about us than we realise.
She didn’t understand it was in my head, she thought I was afraid of something tangible. She was alert and protective looking for the danger she thought I was afraid of.

Dolly the autonomous Horse Post 4

Road Safety

Dolly and I were out for a ride alone following our preferred route. I had owned Dolly for about 6 months and riding her 6 out of 7 days.

She was so easy to ride and safe. I soon learned to trust her judgement. Initially as we rode down the narrow road we would walk and trot comfortably, when traffic came we would get onto the grass verge and let it pass.

Initially Dolly would just get on the grass verge out of the blue and I would “take control “ as I was taught only to find as I was trying to make her get back on the road that there was a car coming from behind that had not yet appeared round the bend I had not heard it but Doly had . She was protecting us both.

That was when I stopped assuming I always knew best. Dolly's hearing reached far beyond mine. She wasn't refusing to go forward. She was already responding to something I couldn't yet detect.

Dolly the Autonomous Horse – Post 3

The Fallen Branch

While on an accompanied riding lesson, it was quite windy and some soft fallen branches had blown onto the road in front of us. I was told to push Dolly past them—to make her more frightened of me than the branch.

I felt a little nervous. What if the branch, now lying quietly in front of us, was blown again and moved into her path?

But Dolly wasn't frightened.

She was curious.

She looked at it, thought about it, and quietly stepped around it. Then the wind blew again, wrapping the branch around her back legs. Dolly simply lifted her feet clear of it and carried on.

No spook.

No leap.

No drama.

She had already decided it wasn't dangerous.

That was when I realised something that stayed with me.

A horse given time to think often makes safer decisions than one that is forced to obey before it has understood.

Dolly the autonomous Horse Post 2

Not wanting to be groomed.
When I started riding Dolly as a school horse I naturally wanted to groom her and tack her up. The first time I walked in the stable with a brush she turned her rump on me and as I tried to walk round her she used the stable wall to cut me off. I was a bit new to this riding school and wasn’t sure what to do so I asked for help. The instructor walked in the stable and said “come on move and slapped Dolly on the rump to which Dolly’s head je**ed and she turned herself around. “don’t let her mess you around, and hurry up we are nearly ready to leave” said the instructor as she left the stable. Dolly stood compliant while I groomed the bits where the tack goes and hurried to tack Dolly up, promising myself I would come earlier next week to try and understand why she didn’t want to be groomed. Grooming is a lovely bonding time with any animal. In my mind they should enjoy it.
The next week I was given another horse to ride so I didn’t get to groom her either. As I walked past her stable hoping for a quick hello all my questions were answered as I saw the yard owner hacking at bit clods of mud in Dolly’ mane with a metal curry comb. As I watched Dolly toss her head I could see she wasn’t being naughty she was trying to stop the pain as her mane was pulled relentlessly with no thought other than to get the job done. I would have instinctively put my hand at the top to stop the pull at the roots. There was more hair pulling free of the roots as mud flaking free of the clump being attacked by the human.
No wonder she didn’t want me near her neck if she thought I would treat her like that. Dolly wasn't rejecting grooming. She was protecting herself from pain I hadn't yet seen.
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Dolly Communication Dolly Communication helps horse owners build trust, reduce stress, and strengthen connection with their horse. Visit www.dollycommunication.com to find out more.

Dolly the autonomous Horse Post 1

Meeting the hounds.
As we rode, I saw a dog come round the corner I saw Dolly hesitate and she start to move across the wide grass verge towards the hedge. I told her not to be silly she knew dogs and pushed her forwards the dog. As she stopped, I realised what I had missed. That wasn't a normal dog, it was a hound and as we stood there the whole hunt pack appeared round the corner taking up the road and the wide verge. Around 30 hounds followed by two men on pushbikes with whips.
I watched in shock and tried to think how we could get out of their way. That was when Dolly took charge, she turned and started to trot across the road and back towards home. She put herself on the correct side of the road her sudden movement left me behind in the saddle and as I pushed myself forward turned for home I thanked Dolly for not turning and bolting which would have left me in a heap on the floor. We continued at a fast trot with the whole pack of hounds behind us, Dolly worried and checking all the time but never breaking into the canter that would of made her safe and left me on the floor in my unbalanced state.
We trotted like that for what must have been half a mile. I tried to turn Dolly in a gateway but I was a passenger. Dolly had this under control and she wasn’t going to be interrupted by the vulnerable human on her back. It was a very uncomfortable journey back to the yard and Dolly hardly slowed to turn into the drive she kept trotting all the way into the safety of the stable yard where she stopped standing calmly but huffing and puffing as the adrenalin she had controlled started to subside. I thanked her for getting us both home safe and was stroking her before getting off. Only to be met by an angry yard owner demanding why I had trotted up her yard driveway.
Dolly didn't save me that day because she was trained to obey. She saved us because she felt safe enough to think for both of us.
See my page for more about Dolly.

Seeing the horse world from the view of the horse

I’m honoured to share that I’ve been accepted as a full member of the Animal Welfare Research Network. My work exploring the horse–human bond — how our inner world affects theirs — has always been about opening eyes gently, not pushing for change through force or argument.

This image means a lot to me. Dolly standing freely outside the stable, her rope simply resting over her neck, choosing connection rather than being held to it. It’s the moment I realised how different the horse world looks when you see it from their side of the door.

This acceptance feels like a small but meaningful step forward. We never have all the answers, but intention matters. It shapes the way we see animals, and the way they experience us.

Understanding What Our Horses Really Want From Us

Horse ownership is never easy. The horse we fall in love with can suddenly change. Every week there is a new issue, a new piece of advice, and contradictory information about training, feeding, and stabling. How do we know who to believe? How do we know what is actually best for our horse?

I was 46 when I bought my first horse, Dolly. It was a dream come true. I bought her from the riding school where I’d been riding her for six months. I knew her—or so I thought. What else was there to ask?

For the first year, everything was wonderful. We explored trails, rode six days a week, and enjoyed life. And then, things went wrong. Dolly didn’t want to go out alone. She started napping. I fell off.

I relied on the traditional "experience" of professionals to help me—which I now know was a big mistake.

Eventually, I was given an ultimatum: sell Dolly, because I was advised I would never safely ride her again. But I bought her because I loved her. Selling her felt like letting her down. So, I turned my back on the advice of the traditional horse world, took a deep breath, and decided to find my own way.

What followed was ten years of learning things I never could have imagined.

My life with Dolly wasn’t a fairy tale. She was a typical stubborn mare—highly opinionated, beautiful, and vain. Our journey wasn't easy. I know the exact frustration, the tears, the heavy worry, and the crushing doubt of wondering if you are letting your horse down or if they’d be better off with someone else. I have lived those low moments.

When I was at my lowest, I found there were only ever two choices offered to me:

Follow the loud, aggressive advice of: "Hit her, she’s a horse, make her behave."

Pay a fortune for an expensive specialist to come and "fix" her.

Neither of those solutions sat well with me. Dolly didn't need to be "fixed" or fought. She needed to be understood.

The greatest lesson she ever taught me was that horses are never fooled by a performance. They know when we are "trying to appear brave" while internally panicking. All she ever wanted from me was for me to be present, focused, and completely authentic.

I have spent the last two years building the Dolly Communication CIC website because I want to give owners a third choice. A choice rooted in understanding, not battles of dominance.

If you have ever stood on your yard, looked at your horse, and felt completely lost as to what to do next—you are not alone. Come to Dolly Communication. Let’s look past the traditional facade and understand what your horse really wants from you, so you can find the right step forward together. Link below.

A quick note for anyone I’ve recently contacted or will be contacting soon…

Over the next few weeks I will be quietly reaching out to a small number of equine professionals across the UK with a personal invitation.

The intention is to build breadth across trades within The Dolly Way – Understand Your Horse Knowledge Circle, so that ethical professionals from different disciplines can work together and support owners and horses through shared welfare knowledge.

If you receive a message from me, it simply means I respect your work and would like to invite you to contribute a short welfare-focused article within your professional scope, with full named copyright and links to your website or page (or business-name avatar if preferred), alongside a free introductory lifetime membership in a protected professional directory.

There is no pressure or expectation — just an open invitation to collaborate for the long-term benefit of horses and owners.

If you would prefer contact by email rather than Facebook message, you are welcome to let me know.

Thank you to everyone who continues to work quietly and ethically for horses.

Lorraine
The Dolly Way – part of Dolly Communication CIC

Dolly Communication CIC A free site full of Self Help techniques for your mental Health. Written by someone who has been there but didn't make sense of it until I met my horse. I understand why "pull yourself together" is not the answer any more. Not to replace medical treatment but to use along side these in the hope they...

Is the "Horse World" making you feel like you’re failing?

We’ve all heard the advice: "You have to be the boss," or "Don't let him get away with that." But for many of us, trying to be "the boss" just leads to more stress, more anxiety, and a horse that feels further away than ever.

Much of what we’ve been told about "dominance" and "control" is just peer-fed fiction. It’s exhausting to maintain, and it’s not how true partnership works.

I’ve put years of research and lived experience into two free eBooks to help you find a better way:

• Myths of the Horse World: Why the "Alpha" mindset is actually damaging your safety and your bond.
• Regaining Your Power on the Yard: How to find your voice and trust your intuition again.

These aren't just training manuals—they are your permission to stop doing what isn't working so you can finally enjoy your horse again.

Download your free copies here: www.dollycommunication.org/services -ebooks

Dolly Communication is a Community Interest Company (CIC) dedicated to providing evidence-based support and a judgment-free sanctuary for horse owners.

Support for You and Your Horse , The Dolly Way Explore free horse‑welfare resources, downloadable eBooks, and an in‑depth course on domestic horse stress. Welfare‑first guidance for compassionate owners.

Many horse owners are trying their best, but something still feels uncomfortable when they ask their horse to move forward.
Sometimes it feels like encouragement.
Sometimes it feels like support.
And sometimes, if we are honest, it starts to feel like coercion.
The difference isn’t always obvious — but our intention matters more than we realise, and horses feel that immediately.
I’ve written a short article exploring the ethical balance between encouragement, support and coercion, and why understanding this can change the relationship you have with your horse.
It also includes a short free audio experience so you can observe how your intention affects your horse in real time.
You may be surprised by what you notice.
Read the article here:
http://www.dollycommunication.org/org/encouragement-support-and-coercion-finding-the-ethical-balance-when-asking-horses-to-move-forward

Many horse owners are trying their best, but something still feels uncomfortable when they ask their horse to move forward.
Sometimes it feels like encouragement.
Sometimes it feels like support.
And sometimes, if we are honest, it starts to feel like coercion.
The difference isn’t always obvious — but our intention matters more than we realise, and horses feel that immediately.
I’ve written a short article exploring the ethical balance between encouragement, support and coercion, and why understanding this can change the relationship you have with your horse.
It also includes a short free audio experience so you can observe how your intention affects your horse in real time.
You may be surprised by what you notice.
Read the article here:
http://www.dollycommunication.org/org/encouragement-support-and-coercion-finding-the-ethical-balance-when-asking-horses-to-move-forward

Many horse owners are trying their best, but something still feels uncomfortable when they ask their horse to move forward.
Sometimes it feels like encouragement.
Sometimes it feels like support.
And sometimes, if we are honest, it starts to feel like coercion.
The difference isn’t always obvious — but our intention matters more than we realise, and horses feel that immediately.
I’ve written a short article exploring the ethical balance between encouragement, support and coercion, and why understanding this can change the relationship you have with your horse.
It also includes a short free audio experience so you can observe how your intention affects your horse in real time.
You may be surprised by what you notice.
Read the article here:
http://www.dollycommunication.org/org/encouragement-support-and-coercion-finding-the-ethical-balance-when-asking-horses-to-move-forward

Many horse owners are trying their best, but something still feels uncomfortable when they ask their horse to move forward.
Sometimes it feels like encouragement.
Sometimes it feels like support.
And sometimes, if we are honest, it starts to feel like coercion.
The difference isn’t always obvious — but our intention matters more than we realise, and horses feel that immediately.
I’ve written a short article exploring the ethical balance between encouragement, support and coercion, and why understanding this can change the relationship you have with your horse.
It also includes a short free audio experience so you can observe how your intention affects your horse in real time.
You may be surprised by what you notice.
Read the article here:
http://www.dollycommunication.org/org/encouragement-support-and-coercion-finding-the-ethical-balance-when-asking-horses-to-move-forward

Encouragement, Support, and Coercion: Finding the Ethical Balance When Asking Horses to Move Forward A free site full of Self Help techniques for your mental Health. Written by someone who has been there but didn't make sense of it until I met my horse. I understand why "pull yourself together" is not the answer any more. Not to replace medical treatment but to use along side these in the hope they...