Georgina Bartlett - Civil Funeral Celebrant

To "remember with affection" is to recall someone or something with feelings of warmth, love, and fondness

Cherishing shared moments, recognising a person's importance and focusing on the positive impact they had on your life

Losing a loved one is hard (understatement!) Letting them go can be a path to follow to ease the hurt x

One way to look at our life journey ... x

this is true x

We don't just 'get over' a loss ... we can't just 'shake off' sadness and sorrow - this poem speaks volumes. They're called feelings because we have to feel them:

‘Sadness comes’ by Donna Ashworth

Sadness came to tea last night
as she’s often done before
but I didn’t let her in this time
I stopped her at the door

“I’m off to meet with friends”, I said
“your timing isn’t right
I can’t allow your atmosphere
it’s not the place tonight”

but sadness wouldn’t take the hint
her manners lack finesse
her pace was slow and heavy
yet she kept up nonetheless

and even when I took my place
amongst my laughing friends
she squeezed herself right in-between
her boldness never ends

and I was sure my friends would see
this spectre at the feast
and somehow think me lesser
for inviting such a beast

but no, their warmth was undeterred
as if nothing was new
I think perhaps they know by now
I sometimes come as two

and even sadness seemed to glow
a lighter shade of grey
to know that she’s accepted
seemed to lighten up her day

so let your sad accompany you
don’t think her hard to bear
no need to face her all alone
just pull an extra chair

It is hard to lose someone, it hurts ... but try to remember this
(words written by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross):

The reality is that you will grieve for ever
You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one;

You will learn to live with it
You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss that you have suffered

You will be whole again but you will never be the same

Nor should you be the same - nor should you want to

One of my fave poets ... and this is so true x

People talk about the last times a lot.

The last time you said you loved them,
held their hand,
heard them laugh.

But what about the firsts?

The first time your birthday comes around and there is no card from them.

Or the first time you gather as a group and they are missing.

The first time you wake up and remember they are no longer here.

The firsts will hurt in a way the lasts did not.
They will sting, burn, break you.
Because firsts signify the start.
A new beginning.

The beginning of the rest of your life
without them there beside you,
with a missing birthday card
a missing hand to hold.

The beginning of the rest of your life
missing them.

But remember…

We only experience something for the last time once.
And we only experience something for the first time once.

So I know you will miss them for the rest of your life.

But it won’t always hurt or sting or break you
like this.

*****

Becky Hemsley 2022
Artwork by Andrei Popov artist

From the book 'When I Am Gone' (poems for grief and loss) https://a.co/d/2oOs3A2

A poem by Becky Hemsley

Your life is like a quilt
And everybody weaves their share
Some weave huge great tapestries
And some weave tiny squares

Some squares bring you laughter
And some will bring you tears
Some are stitched and sewn by those
Who are no longer here

In places there are threads
From people choosing not to stay
And every time you touch these threads
It brings back all the pain

But every little thread
That weaves its joy and pain and fun
Has stitched a quilt together
Of the person you’ve become

And every little tiny part
Has slowly taught you how
To weave your contribution
Into the blanket you have now

So I know there are squares that comfort you
And some that you dislike
But without them all you wouldn’t have
This patchwork of your life
*******
Becky Hemsley 2020

Try not to lose sight of hope x