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Conversations can change and even save lives - are you talking about the things that really matter? Conversations matter!

We have worked with literally thousands of managers, from team leader to Board level, in a wide range of industries, from media to manufacturing, the fire service to refuse collection, since February 2000. Providing a range of online, self study, blended learning packages or interactive, participative training in groups, we receive excellent feedback on our style and approach. Each of our clients is different and as such, each of the interventions provided has been different - all with one common theme - to make a positive difference. Whether running a management programme for 320 store managers for a major high street retailer or providing one to one coaching for a television producer moving roles, we invest every effort in making the experience a positive, enjoyable, worthwhile and valuable one - ensuring a good return on our client's investment. Our style is practical, pragmatic, down to earth and people can walk away from the training and directly apply it to their management role. Most of our business comes from recommendations and referrals, repeat business as HR professionals move on and take us with them. Drop me a line for a no obligation discovery call - conversations can change organisations, develop relationships and save lives.

29/09/2026

A week ago today I delivered our latest free webinar "When domestic abuse and su***de risk collide" and now, one week later, I’ve been thinking about what happens after the webinar closes.

Because awareness was never the end goal.

It’s useful to know that domestic abuse and suicidal crisis can become intertwined.

It’s important to understand why coercive control, entrapment, hopelessness and loss of agency matter.

DARDR's nationwide tell us that, and suggest learning happens - too late for some, however.

But the question afterwards has to be: What do we DO differently because we know?

One local authority didn’t hang about. Within days they had moved from awareness to action, booking Dual Risk training for their general workforce as part of their "16 Days of Activism" programme as well as a workshop for their DA professionals - and THAT is exactly what I hoped would happen.

Not another webinar attended - ✅

Not another hour of CPD logged - ✅

Not another conversation that ends when everyone leaves the room ❌

Something that sparks change, because people experiencing domestic abuse and suicidal crisis are already coming into contact with our services, our organisations and our communities. The question is whether the person they meet knows what they might be looking at, knows what to ask and feels confident enough to respond.

Awareness matters but capability matters more. Action over Awareness brings change.

If last week’s webinar left you wondering what your organisation could do next, drop me a line and let's see what might best work for you, assuming you are ready to DO something about this issue?

26/09/2026

Waiting for the kettle to boil and I noticed the condensation on the kitchen window … yep, autumn’s here.

Just like that, it feels like the seasons have properly shifted, darker mornings, throws back on the sofas, jumpers out and the quest to find the remote control for the central heating begins!

October is creeping up on us fast, and it’s always a busy month in my world.

World Mental Health Day on 10th October.

World Menopause Day on 18th October.

Across the US, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month too.

Three subjects that have taken up great big dollops of my working life over the years, and three areas where we’ve certainly got better at having conversations that matter, but standing there looking at that window this morning, I found myself thinking about something I seem to be saying more and more lately…

Awareness is important - but awareness on its own isn’t enough.

A day, a month, a ribbon, a social media post can start a conversation and no doubt there will be plenty of that, but the bigger question is what we do differently because we had it?

Do we notice something we might previously have missed?

Do we ask another question?

Do we feel a little more confident having a conversation we’d previously avoided?

Do we change something in the way we work?

Because October will come and go, just like it does every year but I’d quite like us to get to November having done a little more than raise awareness.

Anyway, that’s where my brain went from a bit of condensation on the kitchen window.

Happy Saturday!

24/09/2026

This is the kind of feedback I LOVE to get because it says far more than “I enjoyed the training”.

Someone left “Respond” feeling more confident about how to actually speak to people who are struggling and THAT is the point.

We can give people information about domestic abuse and su***de risk, we can talk about warning signs, statistics, policies and procedures, but when someone is sitting in front of you and you’re worried about them, you need to know what to say.

How to ask.

How to listen.

How to respond compassionately without panicking, shutting the conversation down or feeling like you have to somehow fix everything.

This feedback came from a support worker working with women and children affected by domestic abuse and s*xual violence, and the second paragraph pleased me just as much as the first:

“As an organisation, we have multiple staff that would really benefit from this training.”

That’s how we start building capability beyond the handful of people who are expected to be the “experts”.

Su***de prevention isn’t somebody else’s job and when domestic abuse and su***de risk collide, everyone in that chain needs more than awareness. They need confidence to RESPOND.

Yesterday was a GOOD day!

***dePrevention

19/09/2026

An excellent way to round off what has been an exceptionally full on week, thanks to Natalie Collins Sherry Hamby, PhD Tim Woodhouse and more 🥰

Brilliant feedback following the Dual Risk CIC webinar on Tuesday, followed by 2 very full on days of the Psychology of Coercive Control at The University of Salford and a new Dual Risk(R) rollout began with Tameside Council - again with great feedback.

With an overflowing brain it was great to spend time thinking about Sherry’s “4 Pillars” both for my own wellbeing and how they might also work well within our ‘Reach In’ programme as professionals help to co-create su***de safety plans with victim-survivors.

It was also Mum & Dad’s wedding anniversary too this week, so a trip to their woodland burial ground and a few words, leading to a few tears, so personally and professionally, overload mode.

Thank you Natalie for facilitating a perfect finale.

Enjoy the weekend folks 🧡

Own My Life Course

18/09/2026

Almost 300 people signed up for our "Dual Risk: When Domestic Abuse & Su***de Risk Collide" webinar this week and not only were we delighted that there was such an appetite for the issue BUT the feedback we have had since has been really encouraging.

I make no secret of my frustration that "awareness only goes so far" and that "action is where we make change" and so I am heading into the weekend feeling as though we have made progress this week!

If you missed it and want to be notified of the next time we run it, drop me a message and I will include you on the Wait List.

Have a fab weekend folks!!

16/09/2026

Imagine someone repeatedly complains of severe headaches.

You keep handing them paracetamol.

It might ease the pain for a while but if those headaches are being caused by a brain tumour, the paracetamol is not solving the problem. It is responding to the symptom without understanding what is driving it.

The headache is real, the pain is real, for someone else the paracetamol might work, but context matters.

The same is true when someone is drinking heavily, missing appointments, struggling at work, experiencing suicidal thoughts or repeatedly reaching crisis point.

We can offer advice, referrals, coping strategies and safety plans but unless we understand the full context, we may be handing out solutions that could never work, in fact they could be creating greater risk.

What if the drinking is helping them cope with domestic abuse?

What if someone else controls their phone, money or movements?

What if the person listed as their “support” is the person causing the fear?

What if the suicidal crisis is being driven by entrapment, humiliation, isolation and the loss of any sense of agency?

There is little point offering a solution until we understand the problem.

Look wider than the presenting issue.

Look deeper into what is happening around the person.

Look again when circumstances change or something does not quite add up.

And ask just one more question.

That is the basis of the Dual Risk® Framework.

I’m grateful to everyone who attended yesterday’s session and was willing to look beyond what is immediately visible, think differently about risk and consider what might really be driving someone’s distress, because what appears to be the problem may only be the symptom.

04/09/2026

You remember the story of the Wizard of Oz? The great Wizard with all the answers? The only one able to fix everything?

And when they finally got there ….. 🙄

Makes me think of when someone discloses that they are thinking about su***de, and everybody immediately looks towards a doctor’s appointment as the answer.

“They’re the expert. They’ll know what to do.”

So we send the person down the yellow brick road, through another referral, another service and another doorway. (That is difficult enough for anyone experiencing suicidal crisis, but imagine trying to follow that road while living with coercive control, when your movements may be monitored, your choices restricted and your ability to act eroded).

Now we learn that even if they finally reach the Wizard, fewer than 10% of NHS mental health practitioners have completed the NHS su***de prevention training*

Mental health professionals have an essential role, but they don’t have the magic wand! 🪄

We cannot continue to view su***de prevention only through a mental health lens, or assume the necessary expertise sits behind one particular door.

People may disclose to a housing officer, police officer, domestic abuse practitioner, colleague, friend or family member long before they reach the Wizard, if they ever reach them at all.

That is why su***de prevention must be community-wide.

Everyone needs the confidence and skills to notice, ask and respond - we can’t keep pointing at the Wizard!

*The Times

02/09/2026

“Are you talking about the su***de of women who are victims of domestic abuse, or the threats violent men make about ending their lives to coercively control their victims?”

That was the question someone asked me over the weekend and at first glance, you might think it’s a reasonable request for clarity. Ay there’s the rub! At first glance ..

Look again, though, and before I had even answered, the victim was already a woman, the perpetrator was already a violent man, and his suicidal language was already being interpreted as a tactic of control rather than someone desperately in need of help.

When I explained that Dual Risk is deliberately not restricted by gender or role she replied that, because more than nine out of ten female domestic homicide victims are killed by men, she would “stick with gendered assumptions on this issue”.

But we were not discussing who kills female victims of domestic homicide; we were discussing su***de risk in the context of domestic abuse.

Those issues are connected, but they are not interchangeable, and a statistic can be true while still being the wrong statistic for the question being asked.

Gender matters, patterns matter and violence against women and girls matters, but none of that makes assumption a substitute for assessment.

If someone experiencing domestic abuse is suicidal, we need to recognise and respond to that risk, whether the person is a woman or a man and whatever the s*x or gender of the person abusing them.

If a person using abusive behaviour threatens su***de, we need to explore what that threat means because it may be a means of coercive control, it may indicate genuine su***de risk, or it may signal escalating danger to somebody else. More than one of those things may also be true at the same time, and we cannot decide which it is based on somebody’s gender.

We also cannot, and must not, assume that every case will fit a heteros*xual, female victim and male perpetrator model. Male victims exist, women who use abusive behaviour exist, abuse exists in same-s*x relationships, and su***de risk can be present on either side, or sometimes both!

Dual Risk(TM) does not erase gendered patterns; it stops those patterns from becoming blinkers that in turn stop people getting the help they need!

The moment we decide that we already know who is at risk, who poses the risk and what a suicidal disclosure means, we are no longer assessing the case in front of us. We are assessing the stereotype in our heads.

The most dangerous four-letter word in suicidology may be “only”, but “assumed” can cost lives.

“Look wider, look deeper, look again” isn’t our mantra for no reason!!

30/08/2026

And so it begins… recommended reading for the MSc Psychology of Coercive Control.

Nothing says “self-care Sunday” quite like Cults in Our Midst, does it?

19/08/2026

We tell people they need to “reach out” if they need help, and it’s “ok to not be ok” and other such # encouragements - but if someone does reach out and ask for help, what help exactly is available?

Hayley was offered medication, leaflets and lots of online links, but even when she was taken by ambulance to A&E following an attempt, she still did not get the help she needed, and that’s just not acceptable.

Hayley deserved better 💔

To hear her story, as told by her very brave mum Ruth Yates tune in to this week’s Really Useful Conversations podcast episode.

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Golborne

Website

http://www.confidentconversations.co.uk/

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