Carolyne Crowe Coaching

What do you do when you feel like this?

We all have a vision for our life.

But things don’t always work out that way.

We may have very high expectations of ourselves, often with unreachable standards, which really only leads to disappointment, and stress.

And when it comes to managing this stress, it’s important to accept that we can’t control everything and learn to let go.

If you feel overwhelmed, then consider the priorities. Do you need to complete all the tasks yourself or could you delegate or work with others to get them done?

It’s about having self-compassion, about listening to your own needs and building a nurturing and kind relationship with yourself.

Where can you add some play into your life?

We all know that our relationships with others can add to our stress at times.

Maybe you’re trying to live up to their expectations or perhaps you’re simply picking up some of their stress and taking it on as our own.

Being asked, or feeling pressured, to do things that don’t align with your core values or spending time around people whose actions you don’t approve of or that are hurtful to you or others can be especially stressful as it will create conflict in your life.

Relationships with other people can be difficult but the key is to try to speak up and express what you’re feeling in a clear and honest way, and maybe talk to a supportive friend or colleague who can work with you to put a plan into place.

What ways do you 'cleanse' yourself of stress?

In the workplace, you may feel that there is stress coming at you from all angles. Maybe there are little niggles that don’t align with your values or interests or tasks you’re asked to do that don’t seem to match the priorities of your organisation, or maybe you feel overwhelmed by deadlines or the expectation to be successful.

It has been found that the main micro-stressors that affect us at work fall into three categories:
👉Stress that reduces your personal capacity
👉Stress that reduces your emotional reserves
👉Stress that challenges your identity or values

When it comes to tackling stress at work, the most important things you can do are communicate and set boundaries and expectations.

If you’re not ready to speak to your manager, then start by speaking with a colleague. Just starting the conversation helps and you may find that they are going through a similar thing.

Often, setting boundaries at work feels challenging but think about what the reasonable expectations are and identify anything that falls outside this parameter. Are you being asked to work outside your contracted hours? Are you taking on tasks that aren’t in your job description?

What expectations and boundaries could you set that will help you to start taking back control of your work day and reduce your stress?

In what way could you become a better listener in times of stress?

Our environment at home and at work can have a big impact on our stress levels.

Clutter, poor lighting and annoying background noise can all contribute to stress.

❓Is the clutter making it difficult for you to keep a clear head?

❓What about the lighting? Could there be more natural light? Studies have shown that some types of artificial light can trigger our stress response.

❓How is any background noise affecting you?

Sometimes, we can’t avoid stressful environments and you may have to turn to on-the-go self-care tips like mindfulness or taking regular breaks.

But where you do have control over your environment, what could you do to make your space less stressful?

Do you struggle with setting boundaries so you achieve the balance that's right for you? Or have you got it just right?

This month I've posted about the challenges working parents face, and some possible solutions.

I feel that one of the solutions is simply to have more open and honest conversations about your expectations and boundaries, and that’s for the whole team.

So now everyone knows that on a Tuesday John needs to get off on time to play football and on Wednesday Jane needs to pick up the children straight after work.

Agree some back up plans too.

What happens if your childcare lets you down at the last minute? Do you phone in sick or can you perhaps bring the children along to keep the show on the road? I have certainly resorted to this myself in the past!

Clearly, these are not ideal situations, but life can just get in the way sometimes. For all of us, parent or not.

But with a more flexible approach, perhaps some lateral thinking and a mindset of how can I make this work for the entire team and the business, solutions can be sought and then everyone becomes a winner.

Does your organisation have a flexible approach? What works for you?

Do you feel you've got the balance right?

If you are paid to work certain hours, then why shouldn’t you leave at a certain time?

Yet many people (myself included) find it very hard to up sticks and leave on time, which is why we find ourselves still at work sorting things out way past the end of our working day.

Maybe we should all be looking seriously at being more flexible.

As a team, it’s in everyone’s interests to pull together, to be flexible when needed. In this way we can all experience less stress and lead fuller lives, both inside and outside the workplace.

With better planning and staggered finish times we aren’t all trying to leave the building at the same time, and there is always someone to take over if you need to go. It doesn’t matter if that’s to pick up a child or run a personal errand.

And yes, I do think that everyone, regardless of their situation, takes their fair share of the later shifts. This will undoubtedly present childcare challenges, but if it is one regular day a week it will be easier to plan than last minute scrabbling round friends and family when something runs over.

Do you generally finish work on time or do you find yourself staying to sort things out when you should already have left?