Shirley Rundle Coaching

24/08/2026

Sometimes putting yourself first feels really uncomfortable. Especially if you've spent years being the one who:

- keeps everyone happy
- thinks about everyone else's needs
- avoids conflict
- says yes when you really mean no

Mentally, you already know you are allowed to have boundaries, but actually putting them into practice is a whole different story!

What I've learnt is that putting yourself first is not being selfish. It is recognising that your needs matter too. You matter.

- You don't need to earn rest.
- You don't need to justify saying no.
- You don't need to keep everyone happy at the expense of yourself.

So, I'm curious...

What's something you find difficult to do for yourself because you're worried about how someone else might feel or react?

I'd love to hear from you.

Until next time, be curious, not critical - especially with yourself.
Shirley❤️

19/08/2026

Most of us aren't reacting to what's happening today. We're reacting to what we've experienced before.

- The argument about the dishes isn't really about the dishes.
- The silence after a disagreement isn't always about needing space.
- The need for reassurance isn't because somebody is 'too needy'.

Our reactions often come from old wounds, past disappointments and the stories we've come to believe about ourselves. Like I'm not good enough, people always leave, if I don't stay in control I'll get hurt...

If we don't recognise those stories, they become our narrative and they quietly begin to shape our relationships. The good news is that awareness changes everything. Because once you understand what your reaction is trying to protect, you can choose a different response.

What story might your reactions be telling you - and is it still true today?

I'd love to know your thoughts. Take a moment to reflect before you answer. Sometimes our first response isn't our deepest one.

Until next time...be curious, not critical - especially with yourself.

-Shirley

13/08/2026

Until recently, I’ve been away from Facebook for a while. About a year and a half, actually. And if I’m honest, I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to come back.

But I’ve been thinking about what I want this space to be, and I’ve decided I’d like it to be somewhere for honest conversations about life — the bits we don’t always talk about.

- The relationships that aren’t quite working.
- Feeling anxious or overwhelmed.
- Struggling with your confidence or self-worth.
- Finding it difficult to say no without feeling guilty.
- Putting everyone else first and then wondering why you’re exhausted.
- Or simply reaching a point where you think, “Is this really how I want my life to be?”

These are the things I talk about every day in my work as a counsellor and mindset coach.

I’m not here to tell you how to live your life, and I certainly don’t have all the answers. What I can offer is a space to stop for a while, make sense of what’s going on, and perhaps start seeing things a little differently.

So… I’m back!

And I’d love to know:

What’s something you’ve been thinking about changing in your life, but haven’t quite got around to yet?

If you’re happy to share, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

- Shirley

01/08/2026

It’s altruistic August.

Set an intention to be kind to yourself and others this month. Let’s create a wave of kindness!

27/07/2026

19/06/2026

Healing doesn’t mean erasing what happened. It means learning to leave it where it belongs — behind you.

If you’re ready to make that shift, let’s talk. Drop me a message or book a free discovery call. 🌿

07/06/2026

WHEN SOMEONE HURTS YOU, DO THIS:

1. Remember: how they treated you is a reflection of them, not you.
People reveal their character through how they treat others. Never let someone else's behavior become your self-worth.

2. Don't react immediately.
Pain wants a reaction. Wisdom wants a pause. Give yourself time before you say something you'll later regret.

3. Stop asking, "Why would they do this to me?" A better question is: "What is this experience trying to teach me?"

4. Protect your peace before your pride.
Many people destroy their own peace trying to prove a point, get revenge, or have the last word.

5. Accept people for who they show themselves to be.
The sooner you stop believing potential over behavior, the less suffering you create for yourself.

6. Let disappointment create boundaries, not bitterness.
You don't need to hate people. You simply need to learn where they belong in your life.

7. Heal instead of plotting revenge.
Revenge keeps the wound alive. Healing closes it.

8. Stop reopening the wound in your mind.
Every time you replay what happened, you force yourself to experience the pain again.

9. Learn the lesson and keep moving forward.
Every painful experience arrives carrying wisdom. Don't leave empty-handed.

10. Choose peace over being right.
Not every battle deserves your participation. Sometimes walking away is the strongest thing you can do.

The Buddha taught:

"If you are struck by an arrow, do not pick up a second arrow and strike yourself again." The first arrow is what happened. The second arrow is the anger, resentment and suffering you continue to carry.

Let people reveal who they are. Let life teach what it needs to teach. And let yourself move forward lighter than before.
Because healing begins the moment you stop carrying what hurt you.

Shared from: Buddhism

24/05/2026

It’s the little things that can make a big difference - give this a go!

31/12/2025

Happy New Year everyone. Let’s hope 2026 is a good year for all of us! 🥳

08/12/2025

Great rules for living here ⬇️
Slow down, breathe and have a read!

When I turned 60 , I sat in my favourite chair, looked back at my life, and whispered to myself, “so… this is the beginning of the final stretch.”

And slowly, the truths I had avoided all my life began to surface.

Kids? They’re busy writing their own story.
Health? Slips away faster than sand through open fingers.
The government? Just headlines, promises, and numbers that never change your daily reality.

Aging doesn’t hurt your body first — it hurts your illusions.
So I sat down with myself and carved out a handful of bitter but necessary truths.
⸻
Kids don’t save you from loneliness

Children grow, life pulls them in every direction, and you become a memory they visit when time allows.

You smile… and yet something inside you remains strangely hollow.

Kids bring joy — but they are not a shield against loneliness.
⸻
Health is not forever

One day, the outings you once jumped into with enthusiasm feel like a marathon.
You realise health was never a background character —it was the main pillar holding your life steady.
⸻
Retirement and money

Retirement is not a reward — it’s a reality check.
Depending on the system is like standing on thin ice.
Bills grow, needs grow, prices grow… but support doesn't.
⸻
So I rebuilt my life on new rules — honest, sharp, practical rules for living with dignity.
⸻
Rule 1: Money is more reliable than anything else.

Love your kids, cherish them —
but don’t make them your retirement plan.

Save for yourself.
Even small savings create big freedom.
Financial independence is dignity.
⸻
Rule 2: Your health is your real job

Nothing else matters if your body refuses to cooperate.
Move. Walk. Stretch.
Guard your sleep like treasure.
Eat cleaner. Reduce the poison disguised as sugar and salt.

Illness doesn’t discriminate, but it respects those who take responsibility for themselves.
⸻
Rule 3: Create your own joy

Waiting for others to make you happy is the fastest way to heartbreak.So you learn to enjoy the small things —a peaceful breakfast, a good book, music that warms the soul.

When you know how to make yourself happy, loneliness loses its power.
⸻
Rule 4: Aging is not an excuse to become helpless.

Some people turn aging into a performance of complaints. And slowly, even those who love them start stepping away.

Strength is attractive.
Resilience is magnetic.
People respect the ones who stay capable, not the ones who surrender.
⸻
Rule 5: Let go of the past

The good old days were beautiful — yes.
But they’re gone, and there is no return ticket.

Clinging to the past steals the present.
Life today may look different, but it still holds moments worth living.
⸻
Rule 6: Protect your peace like it’s your property

Not every argument needs your voice.
Not every insult needs your response.
Not every relative deserves access to your emotions.

Peace is expensive.
Protect it from drama, negativity, and draining people — even if they're your close ones.
⸻
Rule 7: Keep learning something - anything

The day you stop learning is the day you start aging.
A new recipe, a new word, a new app, a new hobby —your brain needs movement just like your body does.

Learning keeps you young.
Stagnation makes you old.
⸻
Strength and freedom still belong to you

Aging is an exam no one can take for you.

You can adapt, rebuild, and rise stronger…
or sit back, complain, and wait for someone to rescue you.

And if no one comes to rescue you, stand
up for yourself.
Because you still can.
And that single truth is enough to transform the rest of your life!