Songbird Music Space

Negative Review.

You may notice that I have a negative review in my review section. For some reason I can't reply to the review so I am addressing it here.

Claire is absolutely right, my sessions were very inconsistent last year. I was deep in autistic burnout and looking back I should have stopped working earlier than I did (I have been off work since December last year).

I kept trying for various reasons:
1. I love my work and didn't want to stop!
2. I didn't realise how ill I was.
3. I am single and self-employed and have no other way of making money.

As an autistic person, I totally understand Claire's disappointment and their need, as a family for consistency. However, when the family started sessions I made it clear that I was struggling with my health and couldn't commit to regular sessions. Claire said she understood this and wanted to go ahead anyway. So to get this review felt rather unfair when it was something we had discussed and agreed on.

I disabled reviews for a while after this because I was also dealing with another family that I had needed to report to social services with a very serious safeguarding concern. They retaliated and were flooding my social media with false allegations about me and my business. I decided to disable reviews and any comments at the time to deal with that issue and safeguard my own mental health. Reviews were not disabled because of this negative review. I am absolutely here for feedback, honesty and clear communication.

Safety is at the core of what I do and believe in as a person and a business owner. Emotional, physical and spiritual safety. It is my number one concern.

I look forward to the day when I can also offer more consistency. It will never be 100% consistency because I am an autistic human being living in a world that is increasingly only friendly to machines, not human nervous systems and bodies. I am currently working on how to make my business more sustainable going forward, both for me and those I work with.

I am very sorry that I caused upset to this family and absolutely own that I should have stopped working earlier than I did. I am a human. I am learning and will continue to do so.

Thank you for reading.

"We are an inclusive space". What do you think when you hear that phrase?

Supermarkets now sometimes offer "sensory friendly" shopping hours. They turn the lights down and it is quieter because it is often early in the morning. That's great for people who can get there early in the morning. But single parents? No chance! So is it really inclusive? Or is this a business paying lip service to the idea of being inclusive?
I'm delighted that it happens but we really need to think about what being inclusive means.

For me and my events, being inclusive means if you're cis het, white and not disabled (i.e. the privileged majority) of course you are welcome. You're a person. My events are for people. Everyone is welcome. Unless you have an issue with non-white, q***r, disabled people. Then please, find something else. We are not your people.

https://youtu.be/xfHZLTeyejg?si=nRdqdaefbaeZnzMH

Happy Autistic Pride Day! ♾️🌈

As four Autistic professionals, we wanted to mark the occasion in a way that would help our community as best as we can.

We've pulled together a mega bundle of neuroaffirming resources to support as many people as possible. Whether you're Autistic; you have an Autistic family member; or you work with Autistic people, this is for you.

It's available at a massive d!scount - and an even bigger one for Autistic Pride Day itself!

Autistic Pride Day isn't here to erase the challenges and pretend everything is fantastic. It's here to say we have a right to be who we are and to exist as equal and valid people in society, without shame or stigma.

We're delighted at the reception the bundle has had so far, and hopeful of the difference it's going to make!

⭐ "I haven’t ever read so much helpful and practical advice and support from one place and from different people! This is amazing and I wholeheartedly recommend it. Every resource has been thoughtfully created to support Autistic individuals in a practical, empowering, and neuroaffirming way!

From the healthcare passport to the communication and feelings journals, each tool helps promote understanding, self-expression, and self-advocacy. It’s a beautifully designed bundle that genuinely makes a difference for Autistic people and the families supporting them. Amazing!"

- Michaela Silsby, Spilling the Tea on Autism and ADHD ⭐

The bundle includes eight webinars and 19 pdfs, covering everything from self-care to monotropism; hygiene to Autistic joy; and from unmasking to interacting with healthcare systems.

L!nk below.

This time last year I was struggling. A LOT. I was deeply depressed and had so much fear. I didn't know what was happening to me.

I have worked with autistic people my whole life (not on purpose... It's like gaydar for neurodivergence... Neurodar!).
I have read books on autism, researched, spent countless hours with autistic kids and adults.

I've known I am autistic for about 8 years now. But for some reason, my own autism didn't become my special interest... I was more interested in other people's.
Maybe because I didn't see it as a problem.

It still isn't a problem. But this world can be hard to live in for brains and (I think more) nervous systems like ours. We're taking on so much more information than 'neurotypical' people. Our nervous systems are under huge stress. And then the combination of trauma and autism/ADHD/AuDHD.... Weesh. It's no wonder I crashed and burned.

Last night I went back to this pool (one of my favorite places on earth) and celebrated still being here. Having gone through hell and survived. Stronger. With more understanding.

This knowledge is useful for me personally and also in my work.
I know what it's like not to be able to speak.
To have sensory difficulties so bad you feel like you're going to explode or tear your skin off.
To have to watch your energy carefully and be so careful of who you spend time with.
To have to set alarms to remind you to eat and go to the toilet.

It's a whole thing! I'm so grateful for this learning. It has come at great cost. But I am grateful.

thank you so much for this book.
The idea of a workbook has always been challenging to my PDA nervous system. But this... Gold dust. Thank you!

It's very grey outside and these sunflowers I was given as a welcome back last week are bringing comfort!

I'm grieving a lot right now. Relationships, friendships and a body that is struggling in a way I have never known after burnout. After a lifetime of choosing solitude to stay safe I am craving connection and having to accept that is mostly online right now.

But there is also joy and some hope.

A year ago I wrote in my diary "Keep building and it will come." I'm feeling that strongly right now.
New, beautiful connections with people which will bring future fruit.
Lots of ideas for all three of my 'businesses' (dirty word for me!).
Music and poetry are feeding me when I can't move. Dancing, even if I only have energy for my eyeballs to dance. There is joy to be found everywhere. And even in the grief.

They go hand in hand.

Yesterday was a BIG day.

It was my first day back in the studio (apart from Open Studios) for 6 months.
I had two and a half magical hours with two wonderful young people and it brought me so much joy.

It also brought a lot of realisations. I have been in burnout for a LONG time. Years. December's crash was the culmination of a lifetime of pushing. Masking. Pretending to be OK. Pretending I was coping. Being extremely unwell but keeping going because... Money, reputation, the merry go round.

In December the choice to keep going was taken away. I'm feeling a lot of grief for a lifetime of not understanding myself. Of having so little support and recognition of what was going on for me. Of outright denial, gaslighting and extremely damaging treatment from mental health teams.

I'm also feeling gratitude to be where I am now with so much understanding and knowledge of myself and what I need.

I'm not out of burnout yet. 5 hours a week seems to be the limit of what I can manage work-wise right now. How I used to manage 6 hours face to face time plus 4 hours admin a day is insane to me. Looking back, it wasn't OK and things need to change a lot for me to stay well. I'm committed to that. For myself and those I work with.
I choose life.

I need 1000 followers to do Instagram Lives and I have so much I want to share.

Might you help by reposting or commenting on anything that resonates with you?
Thank you so much!