25/07/2019
Self Approval - How do you see yourself?
Think about how much credence you give to your own opinions and to those of others. If there is an imbalance, consider the impacts and what it would be like if that imbalance did not exist. It might just lead you to a freer, happier and less stressful life .........
As children, most people look to their primary care givers, usually their parents, to help them make sense of the world around them. This is a critical part of human development, as human beings come into the world without any understanding of the society into which we are born. We gain a sense of what to do and what not to do from our parent's approval and initially see our own personal value in this approval. As we go through life, our sense of our own value continues to derive in part from the approval of other people, however there is a shift towards valuing our own assessments and opinions of ourselves.
This happens to varying degrees. Some people move to almost completely ignore others opinions, others continue to value the approval of others far more than they value their own opinion of themselves, and some manage to find a balance that allows them to be able to stand for what they believe in whilst taking into account other people's opinions.
When we live constantly looking for the approval of others, we run the risk of abdicating our right to design who we want to be. We may not stand for what we believe in and can tend to be pushed and pulled by others' view of how the world should be. As a result, people who live largely in the opinions of others have a tendency for low self-esteem.
This can manifest itself in many ways - they might feel insecure about their ability and, as a result, often live in anxiety; they tend to follow others rather than lead; they can create an identity as someone who does not know their own mind and often appear indecisive as they try to please those around them.
All in all, they might establish an identity that does not serve them well in life and more often than not leads to significant anxiety and stress and a feeling of being “stuck” in this life.
